Guess life really does test us..

What an afternoon I’ve had..Arrived at the maternity ward and a pregnant lady fainted in front of me so I helped her, then sat waiting for my apt and a women came out of her scan shouting ‘I’m having a boy, I don’t know what to do with boys’ - seriously are you thick 🤔

Finally the nurse called my name and said I needed another scan then started to laugh, so I soon told her it wasn’t funny that this is my life she’s laughing at. Scan obviously showed baby hasn’t moved at all, saw the doctor who said I couldn’t have another lot of medical management and would have to wait another couple of weeks to see if anything happened naturally. By this point I’d had enough and told her did she know what it was like to go through IVF to put my body through all this and just be made to wait. After speaking to another consultant it was agreed my argument for medical management was justifiable so I’m back in on Saturday to try again.

Seriously had enough, think I need to become a raging alcoholic and smoke 20 a day, that’s how you get pregnant, right?! 😩😭

Ps. Sorry if I’m boring you all with this it just really helps having somewhere to vent to people who ‘get it’ xx

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105 Replies

  • Oh Hun this is just so awful. How dare she laugh people just don't have a brain sometimes. I'm glad that they are allowing you to do medical management again they can't expect you just to wait around! You are so brave going through all this. Yes it's not fair that people who don't look after themselves fall pregnant so easily it really frustrates me. Sending you big hugs xxxxx

  • How are you doing Penders? Did you manage to pass out the sac naturally? I also hope you are feeling well?

  • Hi kumkums I'm ok thanks for asking. We ended up having medical management as nothing was starting naturally no bleeding or pain after 3 weeks! They gave me tablets to take at home last Thursday and the worst was over within 24hours and now is more just like a period.

    How are you doing? ❤️

  • Glad to hear you are doing well. Have some time to rest and get back to feeling normal. I'm going for another scan tomorrow to see what's happening. The doctor I last saw said they can't term it a miscarriage if the sac has not reached 25mm. 2 weeks ago, it was 20mm.

  • Good luck tomorrow. This whole journey is hard isnt it! Please let me know how you get on xxx

  • Thank you. I have gone for scan and things have not improved. Sac measured 21.5mm today. So opted for medical management as I'm tired of waiting.

  • Oh Hun I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Sending you lots of hugs ❤️ Xxxx

  • Thank you. *hugs

  • So sorry to read this, thinking of you x

  • Thank you. I hope things progresses for you today

  • Thank you, still waiting for the hospital to have a bed available. How are you doing?

  • I hope you got a bed and things are progressing. I used the pills and went home, I didn't want to stay in the clinic. However I'm not sure it worked as I have not bled. I have only had terrible cramps and that's all. I also vomitted after I got home.

  • I have to stay in, they don’t give me an option to go home wish they did but if nothing happens are 3 hrs they give me more. The vomiting is quite normal from the tablets I was told, hope things start to happen for you soon, so sorry your going through this to.

  • Thank you. @vomit, I also read it from the booklet I was given, though it's classed as a side effect.

    I hope things are progressing for you?

  • Not at the moment but am in more pain this week than last, so hoping that’s a good sign as it were. Due next lot of tablets soon.

  • Oh. Sorry for the pain. Let's hope it's a good sign and this all ends very soon.

  • Thank you, I hope your doing okay as I know you’ve been through a lot recently to xx

  • I am ok thanks. I really hope it works this time for you and that it's not too traumatic. Will be thinking of you xx

  • Goodness me, what on earth did she have to laugh at? Well done for putting her right.

    Have you tried going for acupuncture to try to convince your body to do something? Sorry if that’s an obvious suggestion that you’ve already tried.

    I hope the medical management works this time.

  • Thank you, I know she’s one of these nurses that doesn’t seem to get why she’s in the job she is which irritates me more. I’m going for Acupunture tomorrow to see if having that before the medical management will help.

  • Babe this is awful things do not seem to be fair to be tested like that to start with I can’t say I’m surprised that you let rip at the nurse and the consultant.

    I too have thought about becoming an alcoholic and drowning my sorrows in a bottle of Malibu or prosecco. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself xx 😘

  • Your not boring us at all big hugs 🤗

    Your really being tested aren't you stupid sonographer she's another one to add to complaints list what on earth is funny. Glad you put her straight.

    It's taking too long and it's affecting your life not to mention the lack of compassion the first day you got treated like you should have after that Barr the bearevment midwife you've been appallingly treated and these staff need to get there empathy skills into action. As for being around others that are getting good news that needs to change anther waiting area maybe something that needs to be brought to their attention. I hope and pray that you don't have to wait much longer your a brave strong women and I don't blame you for thinking these women that don't care about themselves just fall pregnant it's true and it's baffling but theyre showing us how much they just don't care. We do and the thought of a cig or a drink makes us feel physically sick it's disgusting.

    Your doing really well hun don't let them fob you off no more make it very clear to them this needs to happen and 2 weeks isn't even coming close to how quick things need to move on. What do they think you are a bloody yo yo. You've been through enough.

    Awwww hun I'm rambling. Feeling tired just sending you big hugs lots of love 💗💗🤗😘

  • Thank you, I know I said to my Hubby before we went this time I need to stay strong to make sure I’m not just pushed aside and I’m glad I was able to even if I did burst out crying soon as I left. The whole set up of the scanning area is ridiculous your meant to wait in the main waiting room where pregnant women are waiting for routine scans but I refuse. Hope your doing okay and looking after yourself xx

  • It's ridiculous bring all this up in your complaint. Things really need to change big time. Hope your feeling a bit better. I'm doing OK I think 💗🤗😘

  • So sorry to hear this. Indeed you are a brave and strong woman. I pray everything works out well for you on Saturday. I will continue to pray for you. Please continue to stay strong.

  • Thank you x

  • You are not boring us at all E_05, you’re being incredibly strong and brave - the fact that there is not a separate unit that you can go to where you don’t have to be confronted by pregnant women, is appalling. My heart goes out to you and I am really hoping that this weekend things start to move. It’s unbelievable how long you have had to wait so far. Sending you support and strength to help you through this most difficult time ❤️ Xxx

  • Thank you, nope it’s all together your meant to sit in the main waiting area when women are waiting for routine scans to but I refuse xx

  • It’s just awful. It happened to me when we had our miscarriage. I complained to the nurse scanning me. There really should be a separate unit. It just adds to the heartache. We are all thinking of you on here and wishing you a peaceful and speedy end to this horrible process xxxx

  • Sounds like a tough day (big hugs) good on you for telling them what it's like though, really hope the medical management works xxx

  • Thank you, hope your doing okay xx

  • That's so damn rude, I just don't understand people sometimes. No empathy! I hope that you find peace soon and get through this awful time xx

  • Thank you, I know you’d think of all the staff in the hospital they’d have some empathy considering the women they see day in, day out xx

  • Well done for being strong and challenging the nurse - how insensitive and hurtful. I really hope things start to move forward on Saturday. Thinking of you and sending a hug. Xx 💕

  • Thank you, I hope your doing okay xx

  • Omg my heart breaks for you, can't belive she laughed so unprofessional, so glad you put her in her place.

    I can't imagine what your going through or pretend to but you shouldn't have to fight to get treatment like that ☹.

    Your such a strong lady as I'm sure id definatly be an alcoholic by now ❤.

    I hope it starts to move forward for u at the weekend

    Sending you huge hugs xx

  • Thank you so much, hope your doing okay xx

  • You just can’t make this stuff up can you?! I’m just so sorry xx good for you for making a fuss, can they not understand this is just emotional torture?? Sending you lots of gentle hugs, perhaps have a bloody large glass of wine tonight xxxxxx

  • Thank you, I don’t think they do think it’s just another person to get through tbh. I know it sounds crazy but I’d feel guilty having a glass of wine even though I know my baby isn’t alive, the way are minds torture us xx

  • Not crazy at all, I was very protective until I had the ERPC, it just is utterly unfair, you’re in my thoughts xxxxx

  • FFS!! Sounds like you are having a terrible time. So bloody insensitive how they arrange the timing of your scan too! I’m glad you are able to have another go at medical management though. Will you still stay in and try to get sample? And no you’re not boring us - we care about you and want to know how you are doing and to be there to support you. I only wish I could do more xxxx sending you the biggest hugs ever xxxx well done for standing up for yourself - brave lady xxxxx

  • Thank you so much, they honestly have no care about when your apt is. Yeah il stay in again, hopefully just for the day this time. I’ve also got bed pans at home so if anything does happen at home il still be able to take the sample in. Hope your getting lots of rest xx

  • It’s ridiculous isn’t it? At least you don’t have to stay overnight. Will be thinking of you! Xxxx yes am resting lots xxx

  • That is horrendous. I cant believe she dared laugh at you. I would be putting in a complaint.

    Have you considered D&C? I couldn't face waiting and they said they didn't want to leave the baby inside me so had me in the next day. Big hugs x

  • I think I’m going to once I have a bit more strength. I don’t really like the idea of D&C only because for me personally I know I’m better processing things when I can see them happening if that makes sense. They have said if the tablets don’t work I may have to think about surgery x

  • Bless you. I understand. Everyone deals with things differently and this is something that should be dealt with how you know you'll cope the best. There were some negatives to the D&C but I think given how quick everything happened I was in shock and was for a couple of weeks after but in terms of physical pain I was fine after the procedure. I hope the tablets work for you next time- I just wish you weren't in this position. xx

  • Was you in and out during the day for your D&C? I have kind of come to terms with if it doesn’t work this weekend then I know il of done all I can and will have to go for that option as I couldn’t stand just waiting and not knowing for something to maybe happen naturally xx

  • Yes I had to go in early and probably would have been out my lunch time but get this 'couldn't find me.' I was in the bed in the room they had put me in go figure. TMI but they inserted a pessary before the procedure which gave me mild cramp and then took me down. Once I'd had the anaesthetic the next thing I knew I woke up in recovery. I was taken back to the ward given some toast and as soon as I'd gone to the toilet they let me leave. It was surreal but no less surreal than what you're going through right now. :( x

  • That is absolutely ridiculous, thank you for sharing with me the procedure and what happens. So sorry you had to go through it xx

  • The lady needs a kick in the teeth!

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there and it’s terrible. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

    I feel your frustrations. I see so many terrible parents where I live. And i just don’t understand! Witnessed a couple with their kids get kicked off the plane last night for being drunk and lewd!!! And you wonder why they get kids who are clearly being messed up and we struggle for a chance at a family.

  • Thank you, it’s so hard isn’t it especially walking into the maternity ward and women smoking outside it’s like another kick in the teeth after all we go through and give up.

  • Oh no. You must be absolutely miserable right now 😔.

    To get the news that your baby was gone and then have this massively drawn out process must be agony.

    You are boring no one and I think you are unbelievably brave xxx

  • Thank you, I feel so fed up now think I’m almost even to numb to cry anymore just want to be able to say goodbye xx

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this! Sending you love. xx

  • Thank you, hope your doing okay xx

  • oh gosh hun, you're certainly not boring us. Feel for you so much. Cannot believe they were going to just leave you in limbo like that. Really glad you stood your ground and gave that stupid you know what what for -laughing! How dare she. What the heck is wrong with these people. I'll be thinking of you this week and really hope it can bring and end to a truly awful time. Lots of hugs xx

  • Thank you, I know they don’t seem to have any understanding at all - luckily the doctor was a lot nicer than last week and actually listened to my reasons for trying medical management again xx

  • Oh what a completely awful experience that you've had! I'm glad you had the courage to speak up to that nurse, she doesn't deserve to have a supportive position like that....utter disgrace!!😠 I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and listen to that patient. It really does piss you off when you think that some people...junkies etc pop out kids just like that!! Arrgghhhh I'm with you on that one for sure! Rest up after a stressful day sweetie, will think of you Saturday!xx

  • Thank you, I know and when you see women smoking outside the maternity ward. I’m in my pjs and having cuddles on the sofa with the dogs, always makes things better xx

  • I know, gets my goat everyday working in a hospital myself...see pregnant smokers everyday & if anything worse!!😡Glad you've got some home comforts & your pooch to get lots of cuddles!xx

  • You are absolutely not boring anyone!! So sorry to hear what you’re having to go through, you have such incredible strength but what cruel journey!! 💔

    The insensitivity of some nerve fails to surprise me!! Wishing you the very best!! xx

  • Thank you, I know especially from nurses. Hope your okay xx

  • This is awful. I'm so sorry you have been treated like that. Love n hugs x

  • So sorry. I had hoped it would be over for you by now. You’re being so strong. I know it’s a case of having to be. Thinking of you xx

  • Thank you, I hope your doing okay as you can be xx

  • Hunny I am so sorry to be reading this. People can be so insensitive, I just want to say that you don't need to apologise for writing on here. Let all your feelings out. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sending you big hugs xxx

  • Thank you, it definitely helps writing it on here and having so much support xx

  • So sorry you had such an awful are wise to rant here..we all understand..I would say just pour a glass of wine and smoke some fags. .what the hell 😂xx

  • Thank you, i would be lost without all your support xx

  • I know exactly how you feel and agree it’s all a crock of s*%t, xx

  • It definitely is! I hope your doing okay xx

  • E-05 tbh I am surprised you managed to stay so calm, how dare she laugh. Unfortunately some people just don’t get how difficult this journey can be. I deal with pregnant ladies on a frequent basis who will tell me about the fact it was ‘all an accident’ and how the really didn’t want ‘another one’. I feel like screaming at them ☹️ They don’t realise how lucky they are!! I’m sorry for all you are going through. I had medical management last week, the hospital was fantastic and I feel it went as well as it could but of course it is a devestating sad experience.

    Hang on in there, sending love & hugs


  • Thank you, I’m so sorry you have to deal with ladies like that on a daily basis you do amazingly to keep calm. The staff on the ward last week were brilliant, I just hope there on duty tomorrow to xx

  • I would ring PALS patient and liaison team explain your experience. Every hospital has a team and see what they can do. Just even if you want at them about the nurse. She was very unprofessional. Best wishes xxx

  • Thank you, im going to make a complaint once this bit is over. At the mo I don’t have the strength to deal with both xx

  • Awwww honey I am there with you.

    When we went in with the dreadful bleed that confirmed we are losing our son at 17.5 weeks and we would be giving birth that night it went on for days.

    Was admitted to hosp maternity ward had a butterfly put in my door as to say beaware lady losing her baby.

    I was admissted in a Thursday after seeing the midwife that morning who said all was fine took fragmin as prescribed later that evening lost baby.

    He took 5 days to come out and they gave me pills and all sorts which wasn’t really working either. Then we went to and fro in and out or hosp it was a bloody nightmare and you can’t grieve until it’s all over but by then you feel numb, angry,cheated, hurt,sad,confused,broken, tired,drained and want to curl up and lose yourself in a world that is unfair. They let me out for his funeral and then admitted me back for yet another operation as the placenta wasn’t cleared out after the first operation it was the worst time of my life and that’s probably how you feel too.

    It hurts everyday since, the pain gets easier but will never go away the fear of it happening again will eat away at you but don’t let it beat you.

    Take your time get by 1 minute at a time and then 2 then 3 and before you know it you will find somewhere inside that will help you heal.

    Big big hugs 🤗

  • I am so sorry for your loss and all you’ve been through but thank you for your comment. Your right you go through so many emotions, at the minute I think I just feel numb until everything starts happening I just feel so disconnected from what we’re going through. It all seems so unfair that’s it’s another year I thought I’d be pregnant for my birthday and Christmas, last year I had a MMC in August & I just don’t know how I’m going to get through it all again but I guess like you say take each minute by minute xx

  • Hey

    It’s all you can do. The disconnection is normal I down exactly the same I knew it was happening to me but it was like watching it happen to someone else that looked like me... it’s how I coped but please make sure you take the time to grieve.

    I am sorry for both your losses x

  • You're absolutely right to stand up to that nurse - she had absolutely no right to laugh. I remember the appointment we had where we got told we needed IVF & I got sent round for an ultrasound & because we were in the maternity part of the hospital, the waiting area was full of women in their delight. Obviously, felt absolutely gutted at the time having being told that news but it made it even worse having to sit there with all these people who get to have "proper" ultrasounds!! Looking back on it now though, I don't know if these women had a struggle too - you never know.

    Stick to your guns - it's your body & hopefully the tablets will start to work over the weekend. x

  • Thank you, your right you never do know what a women’s been through to get where they xx

  • Oh I'm so so sorry you had to go through this. How horrible and insensitive. I thought people with these kinds of jobs were supposed to be sensitive and thoughtful. Stupid woman. I'm so sorry.. xxxxxx

  • Thank you, I know you’d think being in there profession they would have some understanding xx

  • The nurse laughed at your situation?

    Are you kidding ?

    That is an absolute disgrace. I would write a letter of complaint, completely unacceptable. You have been through so much and to be treated in that manor is awful. She needs a lesson in professionalism in my opinion. Well done for sticking up for yourself and standing your ground

    You are so brave xxx

  • I am going to complain once I’ve got through this bit, at the moment I don’t feel strong enough to cope with both xx

  • Totally understand, you are being hit from every direction. If I can help in any way message me. Thinking of u xx

  • Thank you so much xx

  • Oh wow what a dreadful experience... the lack of thought from some people just astounds me sometimes!! Rant and rave as much as you like.... we all need it sometimes xxxxx

  • Thank you, definitely helps to have a good rant to people who understand xx

  • Hi lovely - I'm really not sure what to say to this apart from you really couldn't make it up. You've been through so much already and it's time for 'life' to give you a break. I'm glad they've finally agreed to try again with the medical management and not force you to keep waiting (I do honestly wonder about people and how they actually relate to the situations other people are in - would they seriously want to sit and wait for a few weeks, or their partner to do that, and hope something happened at some point?! I think I would have been a raging mess in there with all of that going on). I hope it all goes more smoothly this weekend for you sweetheart. I have been and will be thinking of you. Sending lots of love. xxx

  • Thank you so much, I definitely feel like we all deserve for life to give us a break. I feel so disconnected from all we’re going through it worries me how I’m going to cope when it actually happens, I know i will cope but it’s been such a long time now I can’t bare waiting much longer xx

  • How you have been treated by that nurse laughing is dispicable and disgusting . And she needs to be fired for that that is extremely unprofessional of her to make a gesture like that 🤔. You have grounds to contact pals who should take this seriously . I’m so sorry you got treated this way 😔 .

    You are not an inconvenience to anyone on here that’s what we are all here for . To support one another. Lots of love and thinking of you xx

  • Thank you, I am going to write a complaint just once I’ve got through this bit I can’t cope with both at once. I really appreciate the support everyone is giving me xx

  • That’s completely understandable . Lots of love and always here for you xx

  • Hi hun. I'm so so sorry for all that you are having to go through. I sympathise as with my 1st misscarrage the ivf clinic wanted me to come in after I'd been to the EPU, the doctor who saw us said 'so you're here for your 6 week scan' I had to correct her that I had misscarried and this was the reason I was there so they could scan to confirm all pregnancy tissue had gone...she then couldn't find a room so we had to bump someone else out then she asked me to go do a pregnancy test, as we were walking through the waiting room a nurse shouted 'it's negative to the doctor....everyone looked at me. Honestly the whole IVF journey isn't very sympathetic. The doc I saw is now pregnant 🙄 and judgingby her size prob was at the time. Sending you lots of love and positivity xx

  • How awful for you, I will never understand the lack of understanding ‘professionals’ have. That must be so hard your doctor being pregnant, thank you for your support xx

  • Just seen this. Firstly, your updates are never boring....

    Secondly, I would have smacked the nurse in her smiling face...Ok, I wouldn't have but your comeback was amazing. I hope it put her in her place.

    Lastly, I hope things start to happen today. The wait must be torturous.

    Will be thinking of you. Let us know how you get on xxx

  • Thank you, I think by the time I’d finished she was shell shocked as she just stood there with nothing to say.

    Just rang the hospital and they haven’t even got a bed yet 😩 gona be another long day xx

  • Wow, that really was a horrible afternoon for you. I can't believe the nurse laughing?! Where do these people get their training? Unbelievable really!! I'm so glad you put her in her place, that's what people like this need!!

    Good luck today, I hope things start progressing for you. This must be absolute torture. Thinking of you 😘 Xxx

  • Thank you, think it’s going to be another long day as the hospital don’t even have a bed yet 😩 hope your doing okay xx

  • Hope a bed becomes available soon. Keep us posted and good luck 😘 Xxx

  • Thank you both, they’ve just got me a bed. Fingers crossed for everything this time xx

  • Fingers crossed for you hun hope this is it. 💗🤗😘

  • Awwww hun. I hope something happens for you today. Bless you. Sending you lots of love and hugs. 💗🤗😘

  • Thinking of you. 😘💕 xx

  • Thank you, hope your doing okay x

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