We are just about to embark on our second round of ICSI next week. I am feeling ok about it, but I've been thinking about how it seems ridiculous that there doesn't seem to be a readily available method to improve sperm quality when there is no much for for eggs. I have felt throughout this experience that my partners infertility hasn't been focused on at all, that I am almost made to feel as if its my 'fault' I can't get pregnant with him... My partner has slightly low sperm count and poor motility and I seemingly have nothing at all wrong with me. Surely there is more that can be done with his sperm to increase the chances? It makes me think of The Handmaids Tale, like women are always 'blamed' for these issues? I don't know, I almost wish they would put some more of the responsibility on him. Anyone know what mean?
Giving men more responsibility - Fertility Network UK
Giving men more responsibility
I'm in exactly the same situation as you. All tests came back fine for me but my husband has poor motility and sperm count .
There was a murmur about using proxceed, which we bought (woah, it's not cheap!) and it had no effect. Not once has there been any talk with my husband and I really feel it would help if the advice came from them rather than me, as it puts him on edge if I talk about his diet or try and encourage him to do something.
I bought him some 'cooling pants' 😂 from the US which had great research. He wore them once (you only need to wear them for half an hour a day) and never again. I feel that if someone else told him about it and advised things, he'd readily listen!
We've started round 2 and have egg collection next week. 🤞🤞
Exactly my point - the advice has to come from me and I wish they would say something to him to save me the trouble! Cooling pants... Haven't heard of them but I'll look them up 😂. Good luck with your round 2! Xx
Tell me about it.....my husband has been quite good at giving things up, but he is a total tea junkie and will not change his habits. My tests have been fine, his show poor motility and morphology. I am currently reading It Starts With an Egg and have been on a mission today to rid the house of all plastic, lol!! I want our next chance to be amazing and since I gave up caffeine about 6 months I really don't miss it. He says he doesn't like decaf tea so I am going to blind test him with some decaf teas, ha ha! If I didn't laugh, I'd cry......are we crazy?! 😜
Suitably crazy, yes!! I heard about the plastics thoery, it's very interesting! Mine is pretty good too but I still need to remind him! Good luck to you! Xx
I feel the same too my husband had a vasectomy reversal 3years ago went well but he has low sperm count and some abnormal sperms. We did icsi and I am in the 2ww test day is this Friday I tested early yesterday came back negative I was heartbroken I know it's still early but I reed on a lot of forum ladies get BFP after 7dpt but I suppose everyone is different. My husband diet is rubbish and h smokes and drinks coffee and he try to quit 2ww before my egg retrieval with was no good as sperm takes 3months to change he stopped having a beer every night 2months before egg retrieval but still wish he put more effort in and he always forgot to take his welman preconception Vitamin and when I would say he would just say pass it over I would be so mad cause I was doing all the hard work lost 10bls before egg retrieval stopped drinking caffeine eat really healthy. He would be stuffing his face with chocolate and crips not one bit of fruit a day. Sorry am ranting but I think men are getting if too lightly and should get a grip of them selfs and try harder xx
It can be very tiring to do all the thinking can't it?! Hope he gets better at pulling his weight and good luck with the your journey!
U too good luck Hun xx
I really know where you are coming from with the men taking responsibility. Although our main reason for infertility is tubal my husband had good sperm count but not great motility and morphology. I was having to hand him his well mannered tablet every day until we had an argument and I told him I shouldn't have to hand it to him he should want to make an effort and take it himself which he has done since. He did give up caffeine with me, we did that slowly as I was a caffeine addict a few months back. He still drinks too much and I have to tell him veg is jon optional but he has a habit of ordering takeaways. I think sometimes you have to be straight with them but they don't like to be told what to do!!
Wellman not well mannered 😂 Blinkin autocorrect lol
The way the act sometimes is not well mannered 😂 I snap too at my husband xx
There are a few things they can do, but a lot forget! Vitamin, diet, no hot baths, no tight pants, etc... I wish they knew how to take care of their boys! Cuz you know they'd think twice if it affected function!
Wouldn't it! If they thought about it around half as much as we do we would be getting somewhere!
They'd soon think about it if they had to go through what we go through. They seem to think it's hard enough having to produce a sample on demand... imagine if they had to have the internal scans and needles into their testicles...
To be fair, my hubbie got much better after seeing what I had to go through, especially after my laparoscopy. I think I said, "I've had to be cut open... the least you can do is take some b***dy tablets!" He takes the vitamins now.
We had to be referred on to another clinic as my husband has a chromosome problem. The new clinic called my name when we were in the waiting room, and then sent the bill just in my name too! It's on my to-do list to ring them and point out there are two of us and in fact the genetics appointment was more for him! Talk about making the men feel like they're not important!
Exactly my point Lizzie. It's always as if it's the woman's issue even when it clearly isn't it. Why is the fragile male ego held in such high regard, yet there is no issue telling us that our body doesn't work?! It really has to change. I bet if it did it would become clear that there is a far higher number of couples who have trouble conceiving because of the man. Good luck to you!!
You've just said everything I've been feeling for the last year! My husband is a big drinker and I feel all I do is nag him about how much he drinks. His tests came back normal,but all on the low side of normal. I do all of the food shopping so I was able to swap him over to a mainly organic diet without him realising (though my bank balance took quite a hit!) I also started making him a salad for lunch every day which means that, even though he won't give up his morning pastry, I know he's getting some organic salad and meat at lunch. I've also been throwing in walnuts and Brazil nuts to help his swimmers.
My latest panic was reading that sperm can actually get drunk, which can then increase the risk of early miscarriage. I have a luteal phase defect and we recently suffered an early loss. Knowing that our risk of miscarriage is very high anyway due to me, I was able to get him to cut right back during my fertile window. I also made him late for drinks so we could fit one in before he touched any alcohol!
As women, we go through so much with all of the tests, and I suspect I'm not the only one who feels guilty if my halo slips. When it has taken so long we're all bound to think 'well why the hell not'. It's only fair to go through it all as a couple. It can be very lonely otherwise
I completely know what you mean!! I have been angry on many occasions during the last 4 years about the fact that I have changed my entire life to try to get pregnant but apparently there's nothing my DH can do to improve his sperm count. To be honest, he only started trying to improve it 1.5yrs ago after being told how awful the condition was by a specialist & after the next cycle declared he'd done all he could & given up everything for 4 whole months with no improvement so there was no point! I had a miracle spontaneous pregnancy that turned out to be ectopic in December last year & then he declared he must be ok. The doctors told him there was no point in trying anything else as it wasn't going to get better! So, here we are, preparing for DE treatment because I'm a poor responder with a low AMH... sorry, just a little rant from me too!! It really does feel like the blame falls on us 😕 Xxx
Sorry for the late reply. We do seem to bare the mental load as well as the physical and emotional load! Good luck on your journey!
Thank you & you too xx
Struggling!
More Tests!!!!
diabetes, dr says it's impossible to be pregnant
More than slightly worried 
