Fertility Network UK

Feeling more pessimistic than ever now!

I went to see my GP yesterday (about something unrelated to fertility) & got chatting about the tests & treatments involved in infertility & now I feel really down in the dumps. We have made our first appt with the Fertility clinic for mid May & in a way I'm quite excited to have an appt booked, but I'm now dreading what they might say. I'm finding this infertility thing is like a series of punches in the guts....the first punch is when you realise there may be a problem, the second is when that problem is confirmed, the third is when you realise you have to go down the route of IVF, the fourth is when you realise even this may not be successful & the fifth-aka what I realised yest- is that we may not even be offered ivf/icsi as there may not be any suitable sperm, arrggh! She told me we need to start thinking about using donor sperm vs adoption...don't get me wrong I know I know we have to start thinking about these things at some point but it came to quite a shock to me that she seems to think we should have discussed it already - I'm still getting my head round the fact that we're not going to conceive naturally never mind coming to terms that we may not even be able to have ivf/icsi (at least with our own sperm anyway). Really quite depressed now, & just waiting for the next kick in the guts! I know I'll get my head round it & feel more positive soon but really struggling at the mo 😢

5 Replies

All you can do is take it one step at a time. Breathe. You'll find support on here along the way if you need to vent. Good luck on starting your journey, whatever path that takes 🍀 X


I found getting the results of tests stressful plus some shocks we hadn't anticipated. We used DE for round 3 of ICSI and it was a big shock to me to be told we should consider that. It took me a couple of months to get my head round it. Although the suggestion from your GP feels like another blow it dies give you time to process the information and do some thinking. I found the Donor Conception website answered a lot of my concerns.

Good luck!


Bless you..... I know exactly what you mean. We have male factor problems and we get scared each time we get a sample result incase it's worse... and now am waiting on AMH levels for me and I'm scared of that. We just dont want to hear anything else bad as its hard to cope at the best of times. I'm so sad alot of the time I don't know how I will take more bad news. But you WILL be ok. I think every lady on here is so strong and whatever you are told. We deal with it.. move on and try the next step of the procedure whatever route that may be.... you are not alone. Its easy to say..... but try not to think the worst..... that is my biggest problen and i should take ny own advice too lol! I wish you all the best for your future journey :) xxxx


Hi hannah sorry to hear your struggling but please know that your not alone. We go from thinking everything is fine and will be pregnant in a few months to being faced with the reality that there are problems and we may never have children and being told that information is so hard to process, on top of that we've expected to know what they are taking about when they discuss treatments and tests and at the time we are still trying to process and get our heads around the diagnosis and what it all means for our future. I know that the doctors have to be realistic and black and white and everything seems so bleak but we do and have had so many couples on this forum with all kinds of fertility problems who end up with BFP's. It's great that you're being referred to the fertility clinic as they will be able to do all the tests and give you the best options for treatment. It's so easy to get carried away with yourself about final outcomes, being accepted for ivf but just try and focus on your may appointment take one day and each appointment at the time. I know its so hard to deal with all this we get how you feel, sending you a big hug I know how horrible it all is xxx


Awww thankyou so much for your replies....I love this forum & you ladies! It's nice to have a bit of acknowledgement that it's all so blimmin hard, as people who haven't been through it just don't get it (understandably...I didn't get it until I was in this position). Good advice aswell...I'm going to be working on focusing on one step at a time...not going to be easy though, I'm such a worrier! Thanks everyone xx❤xx


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