I am weak and pathetic! My friend and my good colleague told me last week that she was pregnant and she didn't even tried to conceive for purpose. Well, the moment was not much good for this news so that I didn't react the way I should. I'm really sorry for that and I apologized for the lack of emotions explaining it by my thoughts being far away. She became a bit colder but we kept good fellowship. The thing is that no one knows I was pregnant except my significant other and I want everything stay this way. My pain faded indeed but this news revealed it again. I felt I was an awful person not even able to be happy for others..
She was absent for 2 days and no one knew the reason so yesterday I visited her in after work. she was in tears and looked 15 years older. She wasn't pleased to see me but told me to come in. I wish I hadn't stayed there. She told me that she miscarried her baby. She looked angry when saying that and it sounded as if she had asked me with her evil smile "are you feeling happy now?". I tried to pacify her, trying to support and calm her down but no go. I told her I understood her feelings but it was a mistake. She said I would never be able to feel such pain with my heart of stone. It was my turn to cry and I left her there.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Why I'm so horrible?!