Limbo

[mrs_m_shizzle_dizzle]

Sorry in advance for the sorry for myself post ladies xx

I knew that at some point a friend of mine would announce being pregnant I have had it in the past, I'm sure we have all had this. Since I found out I couldn't have a child naturally though there have only been work announcements so I have pretty much tried to ignore them and rebuke those 'so when are you having children' questions. Then one of my best friends who doesn't know about my situation tells me and then utters the words 'they hadn't been trying' I'm not sure how true that is as I know it had been on her cards for a while. I said my congratulations and I felt horrendous because I don't begrudge or wish them anything but happiness and I know how selfish this is but I felt a little bit of me brake another reminder of what I'm going through how what I desire so badly she 'wasn't even trying for' so I spent a lot of Monday crying and the sadness hasn't left me yet but it will, its crazy it feels a little like mourning, how crazy and selfish is that! When I found out I discreetly told my husband as I didn't want him to have the shock feeling that I had, he had felt similar to me. My reaction as we were all out at the time was to get really drunk an I rarely drink these days (although I didn't realise at the time I was starting on doubles lol).

Part of me just wants to run away - avoidance - that doesn't help anyone.

I then try to turn positive and type IVF diet and how to make it a success into Google, all things I've typed a dozen times before, I then start thinking I'll see a nutritionist too see if they can give me a plan. After my opp I was meant to go see my consultant on 24 July I was sent to the wrong person! I've now had a letter I think meaning they are going to straight refer me for IVF but I need to call them to be sure I'm reading it right as there's no direction of what to expect next - am I just waiting for another appointment?!? Who knows.

I'm so lucky to have an amazing incredible husband and we have a great life together, so I am very blessed.

[Hannah_J]

Hi,

What you are feeling is normal, trust me And it's also normal for other people, who can conceive naturally, to react like that. They simply don't have any other experience to compare their own experience with. So, in order to help them understand what you are going through, just try to explain them, tell them what you feel.

As for avoidance, it's a slippery way... After my failing IVFs I started avoiding my pregnant friends and friends with children. Yes, I reduced my pain and disappointment, but now I can share my feelings only with my husband and strangers on the forums like this one. Sometimes I feel really lonely 😢 But it's only up to you to make decisions. Though, big plus to you for understanding that running away will give you nothing.

I really admire your will to stay positive and to go on Please remember that fertility journey can be really hard and devastating, but please also believe that you will succeed in the end and will have a baby! If not IVF, then maybe surrogacy. Try to stay positive in any case!

Wish you all the luck in the world!!

[Lucylu_88]

It's incredibly difficult. The unfairness of it all is a struggle to get your head around. I'm sure many of the people on here feel how you feel, I certainly do.

You sound like you are trying to be really positive, good on you!

Love to you

xxx

[Leesara]

Announcements and news from others can be so so so hard, even though you want to feel happy for other, it's only right that you feel sad and down for yourself. My great advise I'm afraid, but go easy on yourself and keep hold of every step going forward. You said u are blessed with a great partner and hopefully your time will come soon. Here is you want to offload, as I know how helpful others can be when needed oxo

[mrs_m_shizzle_dizzle]

Thank you all soooooo much xxxx the only way I can describe how I felt Sunday and Monday was like something had died. I called the hospital Tuesday to see what was going on and was told he was still catching up from his holiday in July!! I couldn't believe it!!! I personally think they had forgotten me as today I get a phone call saying he was written to Kings referring me to them! I'm always here if any of you need anything or just to vent, some days it just all gets a little too much doesn't it xxxxx