Telling people: Just wanted to know... - Fertility Network UK

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Telling people

Shannon1400 profile image
15 Replies

Just wanted to know your opinion on yelling people you are pregnant. Is it ok at 7 weeks, 9 weeks or 12 etc. I know me and when I get my first ever positive it will be very difficult not to tell people. X

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Shannon1400 profile image
Shannon1400
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15 Replies

Think it's a very personal choice on when to tell people. Apart from our parents nobody new about us. I told really close friends at 12 weeks and most people when I was about 15weeks xx

Shannon1400 profile image
Shannon1400 in reply to

Thank you x

amylizzy225 profile image
amylizzy225

I think it's very difficult to hide if you've been open about your IVF. With my last cycle I told most of my friends, family and some close colleagues that we were going through it, so when it came to testing they were going to know either way. We've had an 8 week scan and to be honest I have told a few more people but haven't gone 'public' with it until 12 weeks. Hubby wanted to go public at 8 weeks but I'm still cautious. I know a few people who have gone public earlier than 12 weeks though. X

Shannon1400 profile image
Shannon1400 in reply to amylizzy225

Thank you xx

CountryCat profile image
CountryCat

Completely and totally up to you!

Do whatever feels right as there are no hard and fast rules. We waited until our 12 week scan, only telling parents before then, but we are private people and no one knew about our treatment. Now almost 17 weeks and everyone knows!! Follow your heart...there is no right or wrong on this count xx

Shannon1400 profile image
Shannon1400 in reply to CountryCat

Thank you xx

Leesalou profile image
Leesalou

Think it's personal choice, I'm hoping to tell people at 12 weeks that only be family and close friends,

Xx

Shannon1400 profile image
Shannon1400 in reply to Leesalou

Thank you xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

With our first bfp I told family, friends, colleagues and Facebook. I don't believe in tempting fate. Telling people you are pregnant is not a cause of miscarriage. Sadly we did have a missed miscarriage but I was so glad I'd shared our news. Firstly because our baby was real, not just some dirty little secret and secondly because of the amount of support we got, we genuinely appreciated it.

I'm pregnant again but this time only close friends and family know, for now. This time I just wanted to get to that stage where we could (hopefully) make the big reveal xx

Shannon1400 profile image
Shannon1400 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you for your reply and wishing you the best of luck xxx

emmab178 profile image
emmab178

I told close friends and family at 6 weeks. Was forced to tell my manager asap due to health and safety reasons.

Hubby wanted to wait till 12 weeks but then my uncle died just at that point and we waited a few more weeks as some insensitive people just kept going on about the pregnancy and completely ignoring the fact my uncle had unexpectedly died.

I announced it on Facebook after the 20 week scan as i have alot of family and friends abroad.

Even if you are keeping quiet for a while you still find yourself having to tell waitresses and waiters due to making sure they aren't giving you any banned foods. Which at least is a little bit of excitement.

Filmgirl101 profile image
Filmgirl101

We told a family at 8 weeks as I was supposed to be helping with the food at my brothers wedding! And I kept laying on the floor trying not to be sick!!!

Oakey80 profile image
Oakey80

We told close very family & friends after our 7.5wk scan, then a few more after a 9wk private scan...had our 12wk scan last week (at 13wks) and did the big reveal 2 days later....tbh I didn't want to do the big reveal at all....not for a couple more weeks at least but my dh was so excited. He'd dreamt about doing it for years so I rather reluctantly agreed...obviously had lots of amazing well wishers but instead of being a positive thing for me, I just felt overwhelmed by it all and spent most of the weekend in tears (stupid homones!) And resulted in massive rows between me and said dh (cos why can't I just be happy?!) so we're no longer talking...lesson learnt...do it when it feels right to you and don't be pressured into it by anyone...including dh's!...although that would have resulted in a different argument anyway! xxx

Lynnr54 profile image
Lynnr54

I agree it's a personal choice. Most people wait until 12 weeks because they don't want to tempt fate, but realistically telling people isn't going to cause a miscarriage it just seems to be some superstitious thing that most people believe in. Personally, I told family as soon as we got BFP then friends who knew about IVF as soon as we'd had the first scan (until then I just said that it wasn't a no but couldn't confirm it was a yes - pregnancy tests don't work because of the IVF medications making them give false readings). We told everyone else after 12 week scan and we'd had our results back from it, so maybe at about 14 weeks.

I agree with all the other ladies above, it's a personal choice!

We have been very open with our IVF journey with friends and family, so it was hard to not tell them the news of out BFP. We told our parents the day we tested, brothers & sisters a few days later and close friends just after. I told my boss after my 7 week scan as she was also really aware of the IVF and very supportive. Unfortuntaly we had to end the pregnancy at 13 weeks so had to tell all these people, but we would of needed their support regardless if they knew or not, so for us, the fact they already knew was easier than having to tell them, yes we were pregnant and now we are not!

Whatever you decide will be right for you, don't let what others do/have done dictate something so special xx

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