The Season to be Jolly?

I found Christmas and New Year the hardest time of the year on our journey (maybe joint with Mothers Day). Here are my top tips to help you survive the festive season.

Accept it can be tough. We often are so busy striving for the goal or putting a brave face on we don't accept how tough this journey can be. Allow yourself to be sad, angry, upset. The feelings won't hurt you and they will pass sooner than you imagine.

Don't go to the party if you really don't want to. Ensure your need are met. Let go of others expectations, that is their thinking, their stuff. Real friends won't care and will trust you are doing what you need to do to care for yourself.

People say the most unhelpful things because they don't understand. Don't expect them to. They are doing/saying what makes sense from their understanding/perception of life. It will be different to yours and that's OK. Don't expect anyone to think the same as you, and you don't need them to. You've got all the resources you need to deal with life. You're going to be OK.

Give yourself a gift. A gift of love to yourself. What would that look like for you? Time for you, an extravagant item (to tend to not regret buying extravagant items!) , time with your partner.

There is a difference between healthy selfish and unhealthy selfish. Healthy selfish is recognising your needs are as important as anyone else's on this planet. We are all equal. In an aeroplane, you are told to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping someone else for a reason.

There is no good/right/bad/wrong when it comes how you should be/what you should do. Trust your instinct. Honour your soul. That's your most important job in this world, to be true to yourself.

It's not a time you should feel happy. You cannot control your emotions, it's impossible. Care less about how you feel. If you feel sad, feel sad. If you feel OK, it's OK to feel OK. If you feel happy at a particular moment that's OK too. The more we can about how we feel the less happy we tend to be. The less we care about how we feel emotions move on quicker and we naturally shift to a place of peace and contentment regardless of our circumstances.

Remember nothing can predict the future. No-one knows what the next 5 minutes are going to bring let alone the next year. Nothing can predict the future, not even your thinking.

Let yourself be loved. When everything is stripped away from this physical world it all comes down to love. You are love. Be love. Receive love.

With love

Russellx

[louisear]

beautiful. So many words of wisdom. Thank you for posting. It has helped!x

[Hidden in reply to louisear]

I am glad you found it helpful. It's so easy to get caught up in the pressures of the season we loose a sense of self. Likewise it can be easy to get caught in to our stories and again lose perspective and clarity. x

[Kenny75]

Thank you. Thought provoking.

[Hidden in reply to Kenny75]

You are welcome. Russellx

[Missy_22]

Happy Xmas xx

[Hidden in reply to Missy_22]

You too. Russellx

[Hidden]

Thanks so much for this. We have just started our first (and hopefully, God willing, only) round of IVF, and I'm currently down regging, and struggling not to cry on a regular basis. Am fretting about Christmas, especially as I will be surrounded by little children in the family - not worrying for the reasons people are imaging, but because kids can be so unpredictable and things I would normally brush off (such as my niece not wanting to give me a hug), have the potential to have me blubbing. It's so lovely to hear from the perspective of someone who understands <3

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You are welcome. It can feel such a lonely journey can't it? Sending you lots of love. Russellx

[Dreamingofbaby]

Well said indeed. It is all very true and relevant ☺️

[Hidden in reply to Dreamingofbaby]

I am glad you liked it. Wishing you some peace, hope and joy this Christmas perhaps in surprising ways. Russellx