Hi everyone, this is my first time posting on here.
I am about to start my final NHS cycle and my anxiety is back with a vengeance! I've recently started a new job (having tried to stay in a toxic place for too long & finally deciding to make the move). It's good but super busy and I'm worried how I'll cope when I start taking the hormones again when I'm already often emotional.
Does anyone have any good tips for calming anxiety, keeping focused on the positive and letting things go?
Also, my IVF centre have given me NO advice on how to optimise my chances and, having missed out on a fresh cycle due to OHSS, we now just have this chance left. I worry that I won't have prepared right or that I don't do the right things when we start in a few weeks.
Any top tips for body and mind?
Thank you! Wishing you every success with your own IVF. It is hard going through this without friends who understand so I hope we can support each other on here.
Emily x
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emilyphilosophy
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Hi there, I had really bad anxiety with my last cycle. I have tried a few things but the best has been councilling for me. My unit has a councillor so has the knowledge of IVF. I feel so much calmer and positive again.
Thank you Lucyloo81 for your reply. Pleased to hear you're feeling calmer and positive again ☺️
Emily x
I did yoga (sometimes classes but sometimes a dvd at home) just helped me switch off and keep a check on myself. There are also some apps like head space etc for meditation that might be helpful xx
Someone told me not to do exercise during IVF & I wondered if you or anyone knows what we can and can't do and at which stages.
I have heard conflicting advice which means just at the time I want to do more yoga, ride my bike & swim more I am not sure if (or rather what) I should?
Hi Emily, welcome to the forum. It really is such a lovely place where you can find people who truly understand what you are going through. Sorry to hear you had a rough time - I had OHSS & know how horrible it is. I was lucky enough to have ET (was just on the borderline of having everything frozen), but it ended in a BFN.
It's a tough old journey full of some ups and many many downs. I'm still trying to navigate them myself, but here's a few things that generally help me (some are a little cheesy!):
Mindfulness & meditation. There's some great YouTube videos to help, I particularly like the Loving Kindness Meditation as it focuses on you, your loved ones and then people you are having difficulty with (for me it was my pregnant best friend). Felt good to take charge of those negative feelings I had and try to turn them into a positive.
Talking things through with my mum, sister and close friends. I've been much more open about our journey now and have found that it's helped me.
Knitting (I'm such a granny now, but being laid up with OHSS I couldn't really do much else and have found it really takes my mind off things).
Keeping busy. Luckily we're in the middle of a house move so having to pack everything up has kept my mind off things for little pockets of time.
7/11 breathing when I get really anxious. (Breathe in for 7, out for 11).
This forum! (Though be careful, it easy to get obsessed and look at everyone's stories positive and negative ones thinking will that be me?!)
Writing - whether posting on here or writing in a diary it's helped me to try and process the many complex emotions that come with IVF.
Counselling - I had 7 sessions whilst I was on clomid (that awful drug made me very very down) so that helped. She also recommended I keep a Joy Journal (a little cheesy and awkward at first) but she encouraged me to write down anything that I was thankful for of that I enjoyed (even a little bit). It was very clunky at first, but I do it every now and then and it feels good.
Anyway, I hope some of those might resonate with you and you might find them helpful. Keep in touch - PM any time. We're all here for you. Best of luck with the next stage xxx 🍀🤞🏻🍀
Hi Emily. It’s never easy coping with jobs, the feelings of stress and worrying about a forthcoming treatment cycle. I think that at work, I would be careful who you tell. Perhaps just speak in confidence to your manager, and maybe confide in a close family member or friend. You could try calming yourself with a nice relaxation CD that you could get into the habit of listening to every day and before going for treatment. Acupuncture can help too, but make sure he/she is a registered practitioner. Take advantage of your clinic counsellor and/or local support group – details on our website fertilitynetworkuk.org I think most of my ladies tend to take it easy for a few days after FET, and don’t do any lifting or strenuous exercise. Otherwise, live life as normally as you can while you are waiting to test. A good diet to have at this time consists of variety, however, I have listed some of the “good” things to have: Carbohydrates - Wholegrain bread and wholemeal pasta, oatmeal, brown rice. All fresh vegetables especially raw or steamed. Over boiling rids them of vitamins and minerals, pineapple juice, apricots, potatoes, all fruit and honey, beans, chickpeas and lentils. Protein - Organic meat if possible, poultry, fish, Milk and hard cheese, nuts and seeds. Fat - Extra virgin olive oil and sunflower oil, avocado and peanut butter, mackerel, sardines, nuts (especially Brazil and walnuts), seeds, sweet corn and sweet potatoes. The things to avoid are too much sugar, processed foods, ready meals, butter, ice cream etc. A little is OK, but not all the time. Drink plenty of water and only a little tea and coffee if feeling deprived. Cut right down or right out – alcohol and smoking. Oh and don’t forget the Folic Acid! Hope I haven’t gone on too long, and the “above” helps. Good luck – of course! Diane
DianeArnold . At work, I hadn't told anyone, since I am in my probabtionary period & feel it's a risk to disclose. I have a hearing difficulty so already feel like a lot of time has been taken up & I'd like to establish myself as a real asset before I say anything. What do others feel about disclosure/non disclosure to managers?
Funnily enough, since my first post, I have discovered a colleague, also a friend, has been going through IVF for 6 years! So I now feel I have a confidant & someone who really understands - which will hopefully be a great support to us both.
Thanks so much for your responses. Really appreciated these 🙏
An upsetting few days since my last post as, having understood we will start our next cycle this month, we now have to wait another month due to a mix up and pressure on NHS services.
While I am very grateful we have been lucky enough to have treatment on the NHS - something I fear will not be there for too many women in future - I feel that our odds of conceiving are going down due to austerity and pressures on our NHS.
Due to risk of OHSS we were unable to have our first, fresh cycle. The next skipped a cycle to allow me to recover, which was totally understandable. We were obviously very deflated after the failed frozen ET but worse has been the feeling of not mattering any more and being left for 4 months before seeing a nurse and now 5 before we can try again.
I am struggling to talk to anyone, since all my friends have children and my family have their own troubles (my sister is very unwell and very sensitive due to illness preventing her from having children) so I find myself with little support. I had 1 session of councilling with my NHS treatment, at which time she told me that due to cuts this would be the only one I could have. I have been paying for acupuncture and trying to stay relaxed but money is now an issue and I feel that visiting my GP will be pointless as it will just lead to a 6 month waiting list to speak to anyone, and then that they're unlikely to know anything about what I'm going through.
Thanks again for your kind messages. Wishing you all well.
I too am new to this forum and about to start ICSI treatment on the nhs.
I know exactly how you feel regarding the pressures on the NHS and the worry it brings to your treatment - this week I found out via the news (!) that my IVF centre is due to close in November, nobody told us!
It can be very daunting process, but please don't feel like you're ever alone.
You may not be able to talk to friends/family but these forums really do help. (We really are all in the same boat 💕)
In your original post you said how unprepared you felt as your centre hadn't given you much information. My only advice there is to use google, forums, NHS pages, private IVF sites etc to really get any information you need and to use more than one source. Everyone has very different ideas on what is good/bad but I think it comes down to personal preference. You know your body so listen to it, and make sure you give yourself the time needed to cope with all the meds.
As long as you're taking the right vitamins, drinking water, not alcohol/caffeine and eating healthy then you're on the right track.
I don't know if apps would help with your anxiety but I found Smiling mind and Headspace on IOS really useful.
Good luck with your everything! If you need anything we're all here for you 💕
Thank you Laura_beth That's really helpful and lovely to read ☺️
Wow, I can't believe your heard about your IVF centre closing on the news! That's terrible, especially given what patients are there for. A lack of communication & patient care is really not helpful! What will happen now?
Thanks for the suggestions of apps. I use Headspace but am struggling with the concept of noting, so exploring other options. I'm just trying Pacifica and have downloaded Smiling Mind to try too - thank you 😊.
Honestly @emillyphilosophy it's all a little unclear. I've written an email to my clinic asking for more information but they haven't replied.
Basically their trust has decided not to continue offering fertility services - I assume this is due to a lack of funding.
According to their website "the storage of frozen sperm, gametes and embryos will continue in a HFEA-licensed and regulated service by a qualified provider."
All I know is that from December, if we're unlucky and unsuccessful this time round any treatment we have will be with a "licenced regulated provider/s" but there's no hint at who that could be or where 😔
I'm glad the app suggestions we're useful! Hopefully they work for you! xx
Well everything crossed for things to work out this time 🤞🍀
Meanwhile, have you thought about writing to your MP? They should be aware of the planned closure (& hopefully keen to keep it open?) but could also help you understand what will happen by raising with the powers that be. I used to do casework for an MP & helped lots of people get better treatment & often outcomes.
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