Terrified waiting for embryo transfer... - Fertility Network UK

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Terrified waiting for embryo transfer, will they make it?

saraht23 profile image
17 Replies

We had our first cycle of ICSI (due to male factor) in November 2018, 9 eggs retrieved, all injected, 0 fertilised. We were devastated. We genuinely thought it would never work for us and the only option was donor. Our clinic advised us to try again as in approx 30% of cycles with total fertilisation failure, fertilisation occurs on subsequent cycles. We waited a year before trying again.

If I’m honest, I’ve been so negative through this entire cycle and have resided myself to the fact it won’t work. I was in tears prior to going in for my egg retrieval as I felt it was all for nothing. This time we got 10 eggs, 8 were suitable for the ICSI procedure. Of those 8, 3 fertilised normally and we got the call on day 2 to advise of this. The quality of all 3 was good, and the clinic advised they were aiming for a day 5 transfer, and that they would check again on day 3 in case they needed to transfer sooner, but if we didn’t hear anything, no news is good news. Today is day 3 and no phone call so we can assume it’s all progressing well and we are on track for a day 5 transfer. However, I can’t shake the feeling that between now and day 5 we are going to lose all the embryos and have nothing to transfer. Has anyone been in a similar position before and got through it? What do you think our chances are of having one to put back on Monday?

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17 Replies
Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Hey Sarah, such a worrying time for you both. Completely sympathise as our first cycle was a disaster. The clinic must be happy that all is going ok or they would have called. Mine gave an update to day 3 to say it wasnt looking good so we knew at that point things were bleak so I'm sure you would have heard of all is not on course! Sending positive vibes and best of luck for Monday!xx

saraht23 profile image
saraht23 in reply toCinderella5

Thank you so much for your support. I’m just a wreck. Yesterday I was crying and shaking when I got the phone call as we never thought it would get that far. I just didn’t know it was possible to get so upset and pray so hard for something that’s only a few days old. I’d give anything for even one of them to make it

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply tosaraht23

I know exactly how you feel, its hell waiting on those updates...just sickening! Hang on in there, you're doing great! Come on little embies, grow!!!xx

I just wanted to say that I think the negative feelings are a form of protection, as if you expect the worst, anything more is a bonus. I felt it very much through my ICSI cycle and my negative mindset didn't stop things working out (so far).

I hope your little embryos are all doing well and that this is your cycle xx

Italy300618 profile image
Italy300618

Aww sarah I know what you're going through. We had a disastrous 1st cycle only 1 fertilised out of 10 and then it didnt make it to transfer. On our 2nd round I was an absolute wreck like you, i cried when they said 5 fertilised second time, and ended up having a 3 day transfer. Theres nothing i can say to make these days any easier they are some of the worst days in the whole process! The embryos have done so well up to now, i have every faith they will make it to monday, and a very high change of a 5 day transfer. Sometimes you just got to put your trust in the experts, wishing you all the best xx

Leesara profile image
Leesara

No advise but just wanted to wish u lots of hope and positivity

J3nna profile image
J3nna

Hi Sarah I was panicking like you too! Was just Wednesday I had my transfer so last weekend I was so worried. Then on monday day 3 we didn’t get a call and on wed morning we were told, 3 had made it to blastocyst (we had 10 to start) 1 now on board the other two were left that day to develop on (1 now frozen n other 1 didn’t develop further)

so id say definitely no news is good news! Good luck for your transfer xx

JoP32 profile image
JoP32

Hi Sarah, I agree, no news is definitely good news! It sounds like things are looking really positive! I’ll keep everything crossed for you and please do keep us posted! Xxx

MontsJ profile image
MontsJ

Hang in there Sarah, the fear and worry is real. I focused on just getting through one day at a time. I used the mindful IVF app and tat did help me. I also tried to remind myself that I’d done well getting to each point, do tried to keep in mind the positives rather than the negatives my mind wanted to dwell on.

Big hug ❤️

I understand the waiting is really difficult as I have been there. Best of luck and I hope you get great news today! X

KiboXX profile image
KiboXX

Keeping everything crossed for you but sounds very positive that you will get a day 5 transfer! 🤞🏻🍀🙏🏻

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat

Every day of waiting feels like a nightmare . Hopefully you will have one to transfer 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I had 5 eggs , all fertilised, made it to day 3, day 5 one top grade frozen, 2 left another day . In total we got 1 top grade frozen and defo feel lucky . I’d told myself I wanted 2. ‘‘Tis very hard to remain calm and hopeful when it seems like the chances are dwindling but the way I look at it now , having had a months space, I’ve been saved 4 miscarriages because 4 would not have made it to day 5 anyway. Best I could make myself think 🤔.

Hopefully that whatever your news is that you can find a way to view it in the most positive way 💐

Bless your heart 💓

Rhinocat x

NewMoon9 profile image
NewMoon9

Hello, I totally feel what you are going through. We also had total fertilisation failure on our first cycle- something I was not at all prepared for. The next cycle felt extremely pressured and that clinic staff were very understanding about this, updating me more often than they usually would. I would request this given the circumstances as you just need more reassurance. Our 4 embryos survived- The first transfer didn’t work but I’m now feeding our 8 week old daughter, our first frozen transfer who was born exactly 1 year after she was fertilised. Every little part of the journey feels completely worth it now. Receiving thar call that we had 0 fertilisation was possibly my lowest point ever and it’s so so hard to shake that feeling. It’s understandable that you are scared but do not give up hope. Wishing you all the luck in the world. Xxxxx

islwyn profile image
islwyn in reply toNewMoon9

Hello, did you do anything differently on the second time round? I had 8 matured eggs but only 1 fertilised, currently waiting for OTD in 2 days. I just wondered what could I possibly do to improve quality of my batch of eggs... i am already on folate, multi-V, cq10, fish oil...

saraht23 profile image
saraht23 in reply toislwyn

Hi, absolutely nothing different, although I did do a 75 day challenge during the few months leading up to our cycle, no caffeine, no alcohol, no cake, no chocolate or fizzy drinks so that maybe played a part? Just had my transfer of a grade 5BA blastocyst this morning

islwyn profile image
islwyn in reply tosaraht23

Oh rest well and good luck saraht23! :)

NewMoon9 profile image
NewMoon9 in reply toislwyn

I did do a few things differently but will never know what made the difference or if it was just bad luck and the “randomness of nature” (as one doctor put it) the first time round. I read the book “it starts with the egg” and took on some of the recommendations in that, taking a whole fist full of supplements, cutting out shampoos and soaps with chemicals in and tying to avoid plastics for food containers etc. Who knows if any of this helped but I guess I felt better knowing that I was doing something. Really hope luck is on your side this time. One is all it takes Xxx

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