Single mum in the making

[Aranir]

So still new here, I had a blood test last week. Since I have been diagnosed with PCOS I moved across the country changed GPs a few times so they wanted to confirm I actually have PCOS. They tested me for PCOS and my thyroid function. Well the results are abnormal though normal for PCOS, so I basically got the confirmation that I do have PCOS.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my GP to discuss what to do next.

I feel rahter alone, I am living in a country that I call my home but I do not have family here though plenty of friends which I see and feel as my family. I spoke with one of them about my plans, my plans to find a sperm donor or a man willing to co-parent with me. She has a husband and two wonderful boys. She has everything I want to desperately and she told me very firmly that if I go through with my plan she will not talk to me anymore.

All I want is to be a mum. I want to guide a child through life and teach it to be a person that is valuable for society. But I cannot find a man I love to marry to have a family with. I think it is because I got raped when I was just a little girl, I am looking for a man that can earase this horrible man from my past. I don't know if this man actually excits but should this stop me from wanting to be a mum?

Until I spoke to my friend I was not worried to speak to my GP and go forward with my plan to raise a child as single mum. I was excited and looking forward to walk this path... and now I am scared. I am scared she is right and it is wrong. Is it wrong to want to be a mum so badly that I am doing it without a partner but with a village?

[jm22]

I'm so sorry for all you have been through, and I'm so sorry your friend wasn't supportive. You are definitely not doing anything wrong, please don't let your friend put you off going to see your gp. Let us know how you get on xox

[Aranir in reply to jm22]

Thank you!

[LegoBatgirl]

That's a heart breaking story, so sorry you've been through so much. Hope it goes well with your GP x

[Aranir in reply to LegoBatgirl]

Thanks

[Clover5]

I’m really sorry to hear what you have been through and think it’s quite cruel of your friend to say something like that, when you have explained how you feel and your plans. It’s not going to be an easy journey and I’m sure being a single mum would be much more difficult than doing it with a partner, but there are so many single mums out there that do a fantastic job, so don’t let that put you off.

You deserve every happiness in the world after all you’ve been through and to have a little one of your own.

I hope you get the answers and help you need from your GP. Wishing you the best of luck 💕🙏 xX

[Aranir in reply to Clover5]

Thanks

[chrissie_81]

Hi Aranir, I'm so sorry to read of all you have been through. And I am especially sad to hear that your friend is so dismissive of your decision to become a Mum. I too am on the journey to becoming a solo mum and I feel that its a brave decision...I'm proud of you! And you should feel proud of yourself! Sometimes life doesn't work out how we all dreamed it would so it's about being proactive and adjusting your dreams just a little...I wish you lots of love and luck on this journey. Feel free to private message me if you like and I will help if I can xx

[Aranir in reply to chrissie_81]

Thank you so much!

[Hidden]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a single mum!! Keep strong, she doesn't sound like a good friend xxxxxxx

[Aranir in reply to Hidden]

Thanks

[AJJ123]

That is so wrong of her to say that to you. If my husband left I’d be using a doner too. It’s not easy if your not in a relationship and your ready to be a parent. You have a baby for you, your connection with your child will be stronger than any friendship xx

[Aranir in reply to AJJ123]

Thank you

[Hidden]

What a horrible thing for your friend to say. I would not count her as a friend at all. You have every right to be a mother. And I am sure you will be a brilliant mother, better than a lot of people who call themselves parents.

Don't listen at all to that "friend".

Follow your heart and you go speak with your doctor xxx

[Aranir in reply to Hidden]

Thank you

[MofM]

Hi Aranir, I'm so sorry to read of all you have been through. I know a few single mums and they are awesome, and their children don't miss anything at all and are amazing as the person that brought them to life. It will be harder, but I am sure you know this.

Don't let the opinion of a single person, albeit a close friend, to put you down. Do what you think is right for you.

Sending hugs xxx

[Aranir in reply to MofM]

Thanks

[littlemisstired80]

Message me anytime. I am a single Mum to a just turned 1 year old. I had some fertility issues with hormone levels but I conceived via sperm donation. If you need to chat feel free to message Hun as I understand how hard and lonely journey it can be xx

[Aranir in reply to littlemisstired80]

Thank you so much

[magda22]

I agree with others your friend is wrong and it's a horrible thing to say. You should absolutely follow your heart in this matter, otherwise you could spend your life being miserable for not trying. Being a single parent is hard, but lots of people do it and do a fantastic job. You can get support from other places - friends and community, who will be part of you and your child's life. And maybe one day you will meet a man you love to become part of your family, but I don't think you have to wait for that to go ahead, if what you want more than anything is to be a mother.

I think you should talk to a gp and maybe confide in another friend - one who won't have that reaction. Much love and luck xx

[Aranir in reply to magda22]

Thanks

[Willowmina]

Hello Aranir.

I am on the same journey.. currently 11 weeks pregnant via donor.

I am here if you want to talk!