Angry would not be the word for how I feel. I'm furious.
As you know, my husband and I are on vacation. My mother-in-law is a little annoying, so we decided not to say anything about our trip until we were practically on the plane. My family knew it, but my husband's family did not, they only knew about our plans. At a family reunion, my brother-in-law joked about what we were going to do on our trip ... We all know what he wanted to refer to. My mother-in-law made a beautiful comment about whether we were going to have sex, that we would not use contraceptives or would never have a baby. Hell, she knows we do not use contraceptives, she just said it for bothering.
The thing is that this morning she called my husband to visit us in our house, and he said we were traveling. Out of nowhere, she became furious. She started to say we were irresponsible. She said that then we both were going to complain that we could not have a baby, but that it was our fault for thinking about trips and nonsense. Then, to put the cherry on the cake, she blamed me. She told me that my infertility was my fault, because I did not mind seeking medical help. She also told me that her daughter, my sister-in-law, had children because she did worry about getting pregnant.
I'm extremely upset. I do not want to hate my mother-in-law, but now I hate her. She has heard how much of this infertility has affected us and everything we have done to find a solution. Of course I care about having a baby, that's why I wanted to go on a trip first, to forget all this matter of infertility for a moment.
I feel that my vacation was ruined.
Written by
emiraven62
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Aw hunny, you hate away I'd be bloody furious too!! Really not sure how you get through this one as will no doubt be a difficult situation for your husband! Try not to let it completely ruin your holiday Hun, you deserve a break, we all need to escape infertility sometimes x x x
He was very upset too. But then it's his mother, and he can not do much about it more than tell her to leave me alone. I'm trying to forget it by going for a walk. Of the discomfort, I had a headache. I can not believe how people can be so insensitive about infertility. It's horrible to deal with, but it's worse to deal with such people.
Some people are sooooo very insensitive and their comments can be very cruel and hurtful.
It's nobody's fault!! it's just that life has decided to make some of us do things the hard way. And as many lovely ladies on here have said, it just shows that we are stronger women who will be amazing mums one day because of what we have to go through to get what we want.
I try avoiding my mother in law as much as I possibly can to avoid such situations as I don't trust myself to keep my mouth shut!!
I really hope you can forget her thoughtless comments and enjoy your holiday. You deserve a break and to enjoy yourselves xx
It's exactly what I've tried to make her understand! Many times I keep quiet to avoid a fight, but inside I feel very bad. My husband does what he can, but it is not enough for me. I try to avoid those comments as much as I can, but it's hard sometimes. No one should go through this. We do not deserve to be treated like this, it's not our fault.
I'll try to forget what happened, but I know it will not be the only thing she has to say about it.
Omg this is so hard to read, how anyone can be so cruel, is beyond me. I would not want to be anywhere near her. You are going through such a difficult time, what you need and deserve is love and support. I hope you can remain strong, and I hope your dreams will come true xx
I feel terrible. Although I know that what she says is not true, she hurt me. It is not fair that after all this time, there are still people so cruel. It's not my fault that infertility is affecting me. I'm trying to relax and forget it, because stress is not good. But God, it's so hard. Infertility is such big shit. It bothers me so much that I know she's not the only person who thinks the same.
Don't let the bastards grind you down Emi. Squeeze in as many trips as you can, you may now need to book some extra ones to ensure you are as far away from her as you can be!!
Have an amazing trip, do what you need to to relax and enjoy it ❤️
Sometimes I just want to get away from her and everyone who makes those comments. I try not to be affected, but it's very difficult. I thought that being away, infertility and all that, would get away from me. But it was not like that. I know she will not be the first person to say something so out of place. I suppose I should just ignore it, even if it seems impossible. I just wish nobody had to go through this, it's so horrible.
Thank you very much. A hug xxx
She has no idea of what you are going through and she has little empathy. You can't change how she is, what she thinks or what she says. But you can do something for yourself: Enjoy your holidays! Don't let anybody ruin them. Just enjoy, have the best possible time and laugh!
She sometimes acts as if she understood. Even once she gave me a recommendation with a friend's doctor. But then it ruins it. I think she just does it to pretend. Of her children, my husband is the only one who does not have a baby yet. Her comments made me feel terrible. But you're right. I can not change it, nor can I prevent people from being so insensitive about infertility. I will try to forget what happened and focus on me, and my search for my baby.
I have tried to ignore her comments. My husband told me to do it, that the important thing was to find our dear baby. It's difficult, but I have no choice. Sometimes I think people become dumb when it comes to infertility. It is such a delicate subject that always ruin it. I try to stay positive always, but I know that someone will always come to say something out of place, not just my mother-in-law. Those things make me feel worse.
It's hard but try to ignore her shitty comments and focus on yourselves. I have a MIL from hell who thinks I shouldn't have kids anyway because I should only look after my Step kids because when I have my own I won't bother with them apparently. It's a cruel world we live in but with regards to some people we just have to put stones on our hearts and let it go in one ear and out the other xx enjoy ur holiday xx
This can be extremely disappointing, before you start a vacation. It is crazy for a mother in law to keep pestering all the time. They should focus on their lives and not ours. I would suggest you chill and have a goo time with your husband. Forget what she says.
Oh Sweetie! She's being cruel because she is clearly upset and putting her distress before yours and your husband's. I'm really sorry she can not see past her own agenda or her role as a mother.
In terms of advice, I would deliberately avoid seeing her for a while. Let your husband see her but it wouldn't do her any harm to realise that her cruelty has caused you great upset. I don't know if you were married in church but if you were, maybe in the future, your husband could point out that she made a vow as a family to support you through your marriage. Infertility is part of that for you guys so she must roll her sleeves up and get supporting you.
In terms of how you feel about her, try to be thankful to her for your lovely husband. It's how I got through some difficult periods in our relationship. My mil can be difficult in different ways and my hubby is amazing. I try to be so thankful that he is so supportive and non judgemental as a result. In the long run it's easier to feel thankful to her rather than angry as the anger affects you and not her because of how difficult she is.
Finally, remember that all she is demonstrating is how not to be a supportive mother. Take that and turn it into determined power that you will be the complete opposite. Having a creative and positive mindset will be really helpful through this long and draining journey. I hope this gives you some strategise to empower you. Do not feel defeated! You are a strong, loving and determined woman. Mother-in-law? Pah! You're dealing with infertility; you can deal with anything!
Hi, I would be furious , how hurtful and very disrespectful.
If this was me in your situation , I would tell her that she will not have anything to do with your children when you have them .
Anyone going through ivf/ fertility treatment knows how stressful it is and of course you need time away for yourselves .
She's sounds absalutly mental to me, if you can't bring yourself to talk to her I would wright her a letter saying exactly how you feel and I would then personally tell her to stuff it.
What does your husband think.
Try to not think of her , you really don't need to be stressed worrying about that pathetic woman , god this has made me feel angry . Treat yourself well and forget her.
Take care and I hope everything works out for you .
So sorry for your upset, people can be so cruel along this journey, it is only a few close friends and family members who no about our journey, and they only no what my hubby and I have chosen to tell them, believe me that makes life a lot easier, oh and we have started round 2 and I am on a vacation at the min for 4 days in the sun, try not to negativity in!! ❤️🌈🤞💋good luck with your journey.
Awww hun this is so rubbish. Why oh why on top of the hideousness of infertility do we have to deal with this moronic comments too😡😡😡makes me mad. I have had some crackers too from my best pal saying seriously on our 3rd cycle..this one is going to be fun to my mum implying if I just relaxed it would happen naturally and that it may be rough for me but how do I think she feels not being a gran to then my in laws completely igoring me like I am some sort of leper..all hurtful but I don't ever really think it is truly intentional just that they don't understand. We found a leaflet to give to friends and family on fertility network site sure if you Google you will find if not let me know I have it somewhere in email. They said they found it useful. Try to stay calm as you have enough to think about and focus only on you two xxx
Oh no 😤 I'm not sure I can help here but I can sympathise. My mother in law is also a total d**k. She was taking over my / our lives and is unbelievably controlling- I felt like there was three of us in my relationship. Tried talking to my oh about it a million times and we just used to end up in a row. But we both didn't tell her things about our ivf as she has the biggest mouth and just tells everyone everything! The rest of his family, the postman the bloody woman in the local co op, anyone who will listen!! (As well as other problems we had with her) So we purposely didn't tell her stuff- so for me it was the last straw when she went through my handbag (2 years ago now) to dig through my latest ivf paperwork so she could find out what was going on because we wouldn't tell her. Well, that was it! We had an almighty fall out and she was banned from my house, I wasnt bothered about seeing her at all. She didn't help herself at this point as she was also falling out with other members of her own family too - which although is awful- actually helped my oh see that it wasn't me - she was definitely the problem! We are speaking again now but she knows her place and I'll never let her back in fully, which is a complete shame as we are clearly hoping to have her grandchild soon! But she's ruined it for herself.
So I can't really offer any advice as I took it for years then ended up in an all out war with her and it made things very uncomfortable for a long time. But in the end it was the only thing that worked - but I wouldn't recommend it lol 😂
So just loads of sympathy coming from my direction for you 🙌🏼❤️💕 lots of love xxxxx
Hope you can ignore you mil's thoughtless and unkind words and have a lovely holiday with you husband. Don't let her get you down, it's not worth it. Take some time apart. You don't have to put up with that sort of behaviour. I'm sure your husband will understand if you say you need to stay away from her for a while. Perhaps she'll think twice then. Hope today's the last you'll give to her of your holiday. Xxx
I'm so sorry to hear this, how awful for someone to say that even worse when it is your mother in law. Is there anyway of you and your husband talking to her and being open and honest and that you need time to do this in your own time. Hopefully you can enjoy the rest of the time you are away. Take care of yourself xx
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Am I being overly sensitive?
Sorry need to vent.
N no or sure what to do anymore 
Need Advise
