I know this may not be the place to post this here but it is the only place I feel I have got real friends and real support. I am now nearly 11 weeks pregnant and will be having my scan next week. I have told my parents my news but to be honest it seems to have fallen a bit flat. I am going to be an older Mom and my partner is quite a bit older than me. My siblings have got children and are married, I have always been unconventional and never done things what some people might think is 'the right way round'. I really thought I would be so excited to tell people my news but I don't really have any friends and don't feel like people are going to be genuinely pleased for me. I thought my parents would be really pleased for me but have barely said anything and never really ask whats going on, how I am feeling, whats happening with baby etc. I feel so emotional about it I can barely bring myself to think about telling anyone else 
xxx
Don't want to tell anyone I am pregna... - Fertility Network UK
Don't want to tell anyone I am pregnant.... :(
I think you will probably feel different when you see your scan and you have that to share with people - but if you don't, who cares! You can share your joy between you and your partner ...and us! Xx
Thank you, I just really thought I would look forward to telling people as I have waited all my life to be pregnant xx
Yes, I can understand that but I guess all I can say is there are many things about this journey that are a surprise or that we didn't expect. Please let your self feel how you feel and try not to question that. I'd also suggest that until you see that little bean on the screen part of you may be holding back believing it right now. Wait to see how you feel after the scan. I for one, am very excited for you! Xxx
Thank you, thats a really lovely thing to say and you may be right about the scan xx
Really sorry to hear your feeling this way, especially at a time that should be full of excitement to let the world know! Hopefully after your scan you'll feel better and more excited to tell others! If not, don't worry. I understand it's rubbish that your parents don't seem to have reacted how you had hoped, but this baby is for you and your hubby and sod everyone else! We're all here as well to share your excitement if others don't seem to. Take care 🙂 Xxx
Thanks so much. I just really wanted my parents to be proud and pleased for me. My Dad seems more interested but my Mom has not and it is breaking my heart x
I understand. I didn't open until to family about IVF until this round (third). I thought by telling them I'd get extra support, however they've taken not a bit of interest. They don't ask anything. It hurts. I sometimes think what we expect from people and what they actually do are entirely difference. I'm sure they both care and they'll be proud of you, some people just don't know how to show it? This is how I feel about my family, deep down I know they care and probabaly just don't know what to say although the fact they appear uninterested does really hurt so I completely get how your feeling xxx
Yes I think mine are the same. I always wanted a close family but mine are very disconnected and live far away from each other, even in different countries. I think if I am honest the thing that is stopping me is that it is easier for people not to know, than for me to tell them and not get a kind reaction. If I don't tell anyone I can't get hurt. I was badly bullied a few years ago and it has really knocked my self esteem and I don't think I ever really got over it. I have isolated myself as I can't cope with rejection again xx
My family are the exact same and I've always said when I have a family of my own I'd like to make sure we're all very close 🙂
Really sorry to hear about your past experience with bullying, it's bound to knock your confidence.
Just remember that your happiness is what is most important. If you don't want to tell others then don't. If you do and they don't seem interested then don't keep them posted with any other news throughout your pregnancy. This is a time that you should enjoy so do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Are you joining any classes? My friend joined a few I can't remember all, anti natal, breast feeding etc and she met some lovely people who are now her friends. It might be good for you to mix with people who are also pregnant, and you could also make some friends too 🙂 Xxx
Thats a really good idea. I was thinking about trying to find a yoga/pilates class for pregnancy, hopefully I can make some new friends there xx
Good idea @Amanda86 or an NCT group maybe? Good luck bluewanderlust - we're all behind you xx
Sounds like a great idea 🙂 Xxx
Hi Hun. I think it's understandable to feel a bit anxious about telling anyone and perhaps your parents feel a bit anxious too. Maybe after your scan they might open up a bit more. If they don't, well it's down to them. Don't underestimate your achievement based on others' reactions or lack of. You are so close to reaching your goal. Enjoy it for yourself. At the end of the day, it's only you and your OH who really matter in all of this. It's nice to share your joy but if they're not into into it, don't lessen your joy as a result! I am thrilled for you and am hoping for a wonderful 12 week scan for you both. xxx
Huge congratulations, I hope ur pregnancy is going well!! We all know how hard it is to become pregnant, sometimes people's attitudes stink.... this is absolutely amazing for you and do not let anyone burst your bubble xx
Aw Hun I can understand your reluctance, I confided in my mum about the IVF as I thought I needed some support from somewhere as OH isn't keen on people knowing, but In all honesty she's not really interested, it was the same when I got married, I thought she'd be interested but really wasn't! I know she loves me but just isn't really the supportive type! I think the ladies are right, once you see your scan you may feel differently, but don't worry if you don't, it's been such a difficult journey for you to get here I can understand you wanting to protect yourself! As long as you and your OH can enjoy this that's really all that matters ❤️x x x
Awww I'm so gutted to you that your parents haven't been very supportive! I can only think that they are worried for you being older....i can say that as I'm no spring chicken!😉 Obviously that's just a presumption but I can't think of any other reason that they won't be. Hopefully once you see your scan it will give you a lift. Do you think you're maybe scared to tell anyone too in case something goes wrong? I only suggest this as I think this is how I would be feeling!! Maybe after a little reassurance at scan you'll feel more positive and your parents will come around I'm sure of It!! You've defo got us for support so use and abuse us! Ha ha ha Sending you a big hug!xx
Thank you so much for all your support and lovely comments. It was really hard for me to be open about this as I feel I should be walking round on cloud nine waiting with excitement to tell people, but it hasn't felt right yet. I think I am very nervous about the scan next week, more than I realise. Its hard to admit too that your own parents are not perfect. I am so glad I have shared this as it is lovely to know that you are here for me and won't judge me, thank you so much everyone xxxx
I'm 11.5 weeks and also have my scan next week and am terrified in case it doesn't go well. I think because of that fear that I haven't really "bonded" with this pregnancy. I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I wonder whether maybe there is an element of that too going on with you, maybe at a subconscious level? As others have said, you may feel different after the scan. Or maybe your excitement will take longer to grow. I would just try to ride with it, either way. Don't put more pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. As for your family - I don't know what to say. That is really disappointing. Hopefully they will also be more engaged after the scan. But if not - don't let it dampen the way you feel! You can celebrate it with your partner and any friends you want to tell (including us!). And make sure that when your child is in your position one day you don't act the way your parents are! X
Thank you so much for this. I think you are right about me being nervous about the scan. I think there is part of me that is really worried due to my age and its silly really as I have had to consider the possibility of DS. But I had already decided that I would go ahead no matter what so I don't know why I am so worried. It is just the unknown. I have also been bleeding for 4 weeks and it has only just stopped this week. I really thought my parents would be over the moon as I always thought this would not happen for me. I know I must not let it get me down but it is hard. I am so lucky to have all of you on here, don't know what I would do without you!!xx
I found it quite overwhelming telling everyone at 12 weeks as was still scared and it had only just started to sink in we where actually pregnant after such a long journey. We choose to tell friends and family a few at a time, we are going out tonight with more family and will tell them tonight and I am now 15weeks 2 days just take your time and do it when you feel ready in your own way xxx
So very happy for you darl, this is your joy embrace it and be happy always...xoxo
Thanks so much am overwhelmed by everyone being so understanding about it xx
How sad that you feel that way. There is nothing better than having your family interested in your affairs. People are cruel when they do not understand what you are going through, but that does not mean that you should hide your happiness.
If others do not like or have something to say, do not mind. It is your life, and as long as you are happy, everything will be fine. There is no right way to do things. Everyone always expects us to act in some way, including our family. It is part of life that we want to break the mold. You can not run out of friends, there will always be someone who can understand you. There is always someone who will be happy whenever something good happens to you. A pregnancy is a reason for immense celebration. As old as you are, your baby is a source of joy.
You should tell them, and if they think something, prove them wrong when they see how good you are going. You will never know when someone is genuine or not. It's a random game. Faces we see, hearts do not know. That's why I tell you, that while you, your partner and your baby are happy, the others can go to hell.
A hug!
Xxx
Thank you so much, I know I am feeling really emotional and don't really have anyone to talk to other than my OH. Its lovely to get so much support on here xxx
I am sorry to hear that your parents have not completely embraced your pregnancy news. Slightly different scenario but when we announced our engagement 11 years ago, my mother's reaction was: "Oh." Just that. Not congratulations, or squeals of delight or 'I am so happy for you.' (She, very unfairly, did not approve of him). I remember what that felt like. It was disappointing, hurtful and deflating. I bet you are likely feeling a bit the same.
All I can say is that people sometimes surprise you and that this is YOUR happiness. No one has the right to diminish your sense of expectation, joy and excitement. And if people aren't over the moon for you, it is their issues they are projecting, and you can dismiss them. This journey is bound to bring you into contact with some new potential friends, people who will offer you much support and share in your delight at your situation.
Take care of yourself xx
Thank you so much, I am sorry you felt the same for your engagement. Its really hard when we seek our parents approval and we don't get that response that we need and want xxx
Firstly, congratulations!
Secondly, don't let others ruin your experience and marr your pregnancy. As long as you and your partner are happy, no one else matters! I found the same thing with my family while going through IVF, no one really asked or seemed that bothered. But I think it's just because they don't understand the journey. Anyway best of luck for the scan and try not to get too down xxx
Sending you lots of love 💙
I also felt this way. Mainly because is been batting off smug mum's with 'i don't want kids ' rather than tell them about our infertility. I told my family at 6 weeks but then as the 12 week scan approached and i was thinking of breaking the news i then started seeing horror stories about people not making it to the 5 month scan so anxiety crept in and decided to keep quiet For longer. OH told his family at 16 weeks but they've been rubbish and not bothered to phone or anything. But then to be honest they are nuts and I'd rather not deal with them anyway!
I was about 20 weeks and finally announced it on Facebook and people have been very supportive.
I travel for work and find telling strangers the best. They are always so excited for me lol.
I do yoyo between anxiety and occasionally some excitement turns up.
The 12 week scan might make it seem more real for you as the bub should be dancing about and you really start to believe its real. X
Hiya, I'm so glad you said this as it's exactly how I feel now. I thought I'd want to shout it from the rooftops but actually I want to keep it to myself and close friends and family. I'm 11wks1d now and so that 12wk barrier and scan is drawing ever closer. My dh wants to announce it asap on fb to the world but I'd rather not put it on there at all....and I definitely don't want to announce it at work (dunno why?)...my dh also wants me to tell people it wasn't planned so they think he has awesome swimmers (which he definitely hasn't!) but im proud of our ivf journey. This is an issue I certainly wasn't expecting to come across....dh gets very angry when I say I don't want people to know so looks like I'm going to have to go with it (although I'm not saying it wasn't planned...frankly I'd rather say it's none of their business if anyone asks) Next stop for me is telling my boss...which frankly terrifies me as he will not be expecting it one bit! xxx
First of all Congratulations.! This is good news and you and your partner should be happy about it. I would suggest to not worry about how other would react to this news. I am sorry to hear that you are unable to share this with anyone apart from your parent's. However this is the time to focus on your self and your health. Things will all get better with time.
But the time that you have now, will not come back. Hence it is important to make use of this and do what is absolutely right for you. Consult your gynecologist and do as they say. Don't have negative thoughts in your head. Think all the positive things in life and this too shall pass.
Take care of yourself and spend some quality time with your partner.
Firstly, I am so happy for you. This process isn't easy ( I haven't gone through it but have two children - it is my daughter who is going through ICSI) and you and your partner must be so pleased at your pregnancy. It seems unfair others aren't, particularly if they know it's been a challenge. Maybe they are still cautious for you and don't want to be too enthusiastic (even though you are quite far on at 11 weeks) they might not understand and think you don't want to talk about it. They may be scared of the emotions it brings out in them and you and how to deal with it. But remember it's your journey and you are allowed to feel how you want to. Confide in a close friend and get support so you feel stronger.
So happy for you.
T x
I'm going to simply say - I'm really pleased and excited for you! Please keep us all updated with your journey - and how is your husband? Is he excited? What about his family? Good luck with the scan and you can allow yourself to be as excited as you like!!!!! It's a tough journey and look at where you've got to! Not many people can understand what this journey is like if they've not been on it. I bet when your baby arrives, your family will all be round! Exciting times xxxx
Thanks so much. Yes partner over the moon. He doesn't have much family sadly and we haven't told them yet. I think once I have my scan and hopefully see little baby it will make it much more real 
xxx
Awww there is no right or wrong time to have a baby, and there are pros and cons for being younger and older, who cares what people think!! As long as you and hubby are happy, if it makes you feel better I am 45 and so is hubby, and we can't wait till the day we might make it to a scan day, people will judge you wither your 45 or 16, it's only you that makes the choice to listen to them, good luck I can't wait to see your scan along with everyone else on here ❤️🌈🤞💋
Hi Hun it's such a scary process. It's nerve wracking. Take the time you need. Maybe your parents don't say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing. They're probably just worried for you and scared you'll get hurt. Take your time and soon enough it'll be obvious in any event! Hopefully soon you'll start to enjoy it. Once baby is here it's a new opportunity to make new friends. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks anyway - you and OH and little one are all that matters! And you've lots of friends on here! Good luck with your scan. Almost the 12 week mark. I bet everyone you know will really excited for you xxxx
I am so lucky to have all my friends on here. Thanks so much, I think once I have the 12 week scan I will feel better. I think I am expecting something to go wrong because of my age xxx
you don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to.
Ahh thanks for the reply. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and told everyone at around 15 weeks. Am really happy to tell people now although it cant be a secret anyway because of my big growing bump! x
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