Ugh feeling rubbish

So a bit of a pity party, but just wondered if anyone has behaved like this?! I went out to dinner and to the theatre last night and drank far too much, considering I haven't drunk for a while. I just don't know when to say no when I'm feeling miserable! I came home and started an argument with my lovely husband purely because I was sad. I hate that I feel like this, and the thought of it never happening for us is driving me a bit nuts I think! I'd decided to let my hair down in August and then get back on it next month, but I'm not sure if I should just refocus now? I just thought a break might do my head good! Sorry bit of a random one!!!!! Xxx

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  • After our bfn I had night out and got steaming. I needed it to let out some of the pain I think. Haven't drunk since cos wanted to get on and try again but take all the time you need. Prob best not to go too mad if you need to go back to stimming soon cos I think it's best to be good for a reasonable period before you do that but I'm sure it's as healthy to get it out of your system a bit if that helps mentally than to bottle it all up. Hope you're not too hungover today and have made up with OH xxx

  • Thank you lovely, nothing a bacon sandwich can't fix! Yes all made up now, he's very understanding! We've decided to take a break before round 4, possibly October or November, but that just seems so far away xx

  • Trust me it's round the corner. We are taking a final shot number 7 ( lucky for some ) and have had almost a years breaks after 4 th cycle ended in losing our boy at 17.5 weeks prior to 3 failed rounds then 2 x failed 5 day blasts a grade. Then prior to all of that 2 mc and an eptopic

    I clearly love the punishment....

  • Oh god I'm so sorry for your loss, why is like so bloody cruel? Wishing you lots of luck on this round xxxx

  • It will fly by and sounds like a great idea. We took a lovely holiday and delayed our 3rd round so we could chill a idea ever. Enjoy bacon sarnie having one myself later..perfect post injection treat I feel..had one yesterday tooπŸ˜‰wine replacement πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚xx

  • Don't feel bad everyone handles it in their own way, do what's best for you xxx

  • Take a break you deserve it, let your hair down try not to argue with the one closest to you as he is goImg through it too.

    Have 10'drinks, scream, shout and do all the things u missed its not determined what makes this journey successful other than pure utter luck of the egg....

  • Thank you xxxx

  • i think your completely normal! we had 52 bfns when we were ttc and some times i would just sit on the loo and cry, other times i would shrug and order a Chinese, a few times we would just think Bo**ocks to it and have a skinful. 9 times out of ten we would end up circling back to the elephant in the room, that we couldn't get pregnant. We were blaming each other but it only ever came out if we were drunk. The day after we felt like crap, just as empty as we did before 2 bottles of wine. And I'm a depressed drunk. Sadly. i think because we we're so regimental with diet and booze amd trying everything we could, to still get a bfn or a Mc made me want to almost rebel, so we did eat crap and drink booze, a few times. -Were human!! 😊 sometimes we had a nice planned night off, like you, theatre, music, whatever. and those are the nights you should have, you've got to maintain a balance, and like I said before, my husbands a closed book. tHat was the only time he let it out. he didn't have the support i had on here with you fabulous lot!! ❀ ❀

    you've had a blow out, have a butty and a cup of tea, and move on when your ready πŸ‘


  • Thank you I'm glad I'm not alone!! That's exactly it, I totally want to rebel and think f*** it why not?! After our mmc on round two I was so sensible, tried not to drink when I felt awful, ate healthy, read it starts with an egg and focused, where as this bfn I just feel like sod it all, but you're right it doesn't make you feel any better, I now just have a stinking hangover!!! Xx

  • Don't feel bad or guilty or anything negative for letting off steam. On this journey you have to be totally selfish sometimes. Cry if you need to, scream if you want to, eat and drink what you feel like if it helps, basically anything to get you through this s****y time. I'm sorry for what you've been through. I only think the people who understand are those on here, what a Godsend! Stay strong!xx

  • Thank you!! Honestly it is so refreshing to have people that really understand!! Xx

  • I think a break will definitely do you good! It's so hard not to let the whole process take over every aspect of your life xx

  • Absolutely understand all that you wrote- you could have been describing me! It's really hard- sometimes you know it's not the wisest to have another drink when you're low between cycles but you can't help yourself. I think it's pretty normal to need to let off steam after all the ups and downs and then the disappointment of a bfn. And then you feel guilty because you're not being healthy! I also get really frustrated with myself when I pick a fight with my other half just because I'm upset and sad. I don't feel proud of myself and know it's not fair on him as he's going through it all just as much as me. But we're all human and the main thing is to keep talking to each other and to apologise and explain where it all came from- and try not to take it out on each other (and I'm no angel at this!) Sounds like your other half is really supportive and understanding. Don't beat yourself. You'll feel better when your hangover's gone and then onwards and upwards! Take as long as you need to give yourself a break. It's a crazy rollercoaster - do whatever it takes to get though. xx

  • Totally! I picked a fight with my husband the other day over the cleaning. Really I was just having a sad day over the failed ivf. I had to go to the supermarket to buy him some After Eights (his favourite) to say sorry. It's to be expected while you're still grieving. Don't beat yourself up about it. Also your body is still settling down after all of the treatment. Just ride it out and you'll start to feel a bit better in time. Take care of yourself. xxxx

  • Haha! I just bought mine cadburys marvellous creations!!!! He is easily won over I think!! Xx

  • Hope you are feeling better this evening. Don't worry about letting your hair down, it has to be done from time to time - this IVF lark is so all consuming - you just have to have a break and let go of the stress.

    Hope you are having a nice saturday night in cosy on the sofa xxxx

  • I did thank you, snuggles on the sofa with the pup! Xxxxx

  • Oh I have been poor dh has had to put up with some much. I binged on free fizz at a party after our last bfn and puked everywhere while crying uncontrollably I swear the hangover felt worse than all the injections put together. I cry one minute, shout the next then emotions are all over the place. I think letting it all out is good and going out having time off helps maybe just lay off the shotsπŸ˜‰don't feel bad please you have been through so much..take all the time and wine you need xxx

  • Thank you lovely, just hearing that I'm not the only one is a relief!! I've got a sodding baby shower today, so that's going to be a joyous occasion!! But best foot forward and all that!! Xxx

  • Yuk...I say have more drink ..bloody need it to get through that..I too have experience of offended my pals mother in law..yikes xx

  • Thank god there's going to be lots of fizz, and I've got a wingman in the shape of my best friend!!! Xx

  • Just wanted to say I am thinking of you...... it sounds like your hubby is very understanding.... my hubby has been so supportive too. It's often the people closest to us that take the brunt of the raw emotion we are feeling. But they know that we don't mean it towards them. I'd say do what feels right for you... enjoy living again and give yourself time to refocus. Sending you hugs xxxx

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