Hi ladies hope everyone is surviving their journeys, just wanted to have a moan as I know you'll understand! it was my 40th birthday on Tuesday, can't lie I'm feeling pretty devastated about getting to 40 and still having no babies, just feel empty and a bit lost at the moment, we've got our FET tomorrow and I'm just not feeling very positive ☹️ I had hoped my hubby would make an effort but no! He's very busy with work at the moment and I'm generally very understanding about it, but on my birthday I had hoped to be made to feel a bit special, instead for the short time I actually saw him he was moaning about work constantly and it ended in us having a row 😕 he's normally really good at present buying but even that was disappointing, I know that makes me sound like a spoilt brat but he knows I'm struggling with it all so buying books about turning 40 was not the best idea!! I didn't ask for any presents just a cake from my favourite shop but that didn't happen either! I wasn't expecting to spend most of the day on my own (don't live near family or friends anymore) in tears, admittedly I'm feeling quite hormonal and in pain (back issues) at the moment but a little bit of effort would have been nice, he's normally so thoughtful, maybe I'm just being over sensitive?! It's so hard seeing lots of my friends turn 40 this year and celebrating with their families and all the effort that's been made for them, I'm just jealous and sad about it all 😢
I need to find a bit of positivity today, I don't want to start tomorrow being negative, but I'm terrified that our 1 frozen embryo won't defrost then that's it for our NHS cycle and we'll need to find the money to start all over again, I'm grateful that we at least got one cycle but I so want it to work this time, we were both so devastated it failed before, if transfer does go ahead tomorrow I'm going to be a wreck for the next 2 weeks!
Sorry for the long moan! Im off to go find a big bag of positivity now, maybe it's with the cake I should have had! 🎂 xx