Feeling rubbish again today.

Hello lovely ladies. I know I have posted rubbish posts recently. But today my emotions seem to have hit me again today as it was meant to be the day we announced our twelve week pregnancy. So feeling very upest which then makes me feel silly. Is this normal to feel this way? I thought I was feeling better. We do however have a consultant meeting next week to see where we go from here. So maybe that will help. Lots of love to everyone else. ️Xx

[Katrina13]

It's not at all silly, you are grieving and milestones will always be hard. Don't feel bad about feeling bad (if that makes sense) but allow yourself to grieve today. Thinking of you x

[Hidden in reply to Katrina13]

Hello. Thank you for your lovely reply. It does make sense. Thank you. ️Xx

[Hopeful1982]

Hello Piglet, it's perfectly normal to have good and bad days. You have been/are going through a very difficult time and you will still be grieving your loss. I have good and (really) bad days too and I've not been through anything like as much as you! So, while it might not feel like it just now, I think you're doing really well.

When I feel terrible I do allow myself a good cry. The counsellor I saw taught me a good breathing technique (I think it's called Mindfulness). All you do is sit down, close your eyes and take a really long deep breath in and a long breath out (and keep repeating) until you feel better. You need to focus on the breathing alone and not anything else. It really seems to calm me so I hope you don't mind me sharing. Take care of yourself x x x

[Hidden in reply to Hopeful1982]

Hello. Thank you for your reply. I will try that suggestion. Thank you defo Sharing. And thank you for your loverly words. Hope your ok. Lots of love. ️Xx

[Hopeful1982 in reply to Hidden]

Hope you're feeling a bit better. Sometimes you need a good cry before you pick yourself back up. Let me know how you get on with the breathing technique. The hardest thing is not letting any thoughts creep in. You're told to push them away and just concentrate on breathing. I usually count my breaths in and out and find that helps. Good luck with your next appointment x x x

[pm27 in reply to Hidden]

You might want to try " The Compassionate Mind" by Paul Gilbert. I've found it useful, it explains about mindfulness and has exercises in it, the relaxation one solved my aching shoulders after one try!

[EmmaT88]

Hi piglet12!

I think everyone has those days where they feel down, so to add to that what your going through it is completely normal to have a bad day!! I would agree with Katrina13, let yourself be sad today. I always say to my husband, 'today is my bad day but don't worry tomorrow I will pick myself back up again!' I think if you allow yourself to grieve then the next day its easier to feel better, if you try and carry on too strong then never grieve and this just cant be good for anyone I am sure!

I hope you feel better soon, exciting news about the consultant appointment, I hope this will give you a plan for the future so you can start looking forward again!!

xxxx

[Hidden in reply to EmmaT88]

Hello. Thank you for replying. I had a good cry this evening. And we then had take away for dinner. Which was yummy. I could not be bothered to cook tonight. I'm hoping the appointment will help to. I think it wil. Hope your ok. Lots of love. ️Xx

[Miroslava]

Hi xx cant imagine how hard it must be. I am very emotional person without all this so if u get of your bed and carry on in life you are very strong person and i know no words can help but dont feel sorry or bad feeling this way .. get it out we are here for u to listen .. its no something u can just forget but hope while u are healing u will get second chance and successful and then the pain will stop xxx

[Hidden in reply to Miroslava]

Hello thank you for your reply. I am a managing to get out of bed everyday. I have a puppy and work and hubby. So they get me out of bed. And the support I get from this site is amazing. And am very grateful for it. I'm going to leave it for another couple of months until we go again as my periods are still not normal and I'm not quite ready yet. But I I know I want to go again. Hope your ok. Lots of love. ️Xx

[Katied84]

It's not silly at all! Don't be so hard on yourself. Hugs xx

[Hidden in reply to Katied84]

Thank you for the hugs. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Katied84]

Thank you for the hugs. Xx

[pm27]

Hi Piglet,

It will take time to cope with the miscarriage, I've had 2 from natural pregnancies and I still have times when I think of what might have been. Like the others have said today would have been a big milestone so it's quite normal to feel like you do. If you weren't feeling wobbly that would be more worrying.

To prepare for your consultant appointment it might help to write a list of queries, although they might not be able to give a definite answer for some things, like why didn't it work.

Thinking of you.

[Hidden in reply to pm27]

Hello thank you for your reply. I will be writing questions down as I have forgotten stuff in the past. Thank you for your lovely words. Hope your ok. Lots of love. ️Xx

[pm27 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I'm feeling much better in myself, I managed to sleep through a whole night which helped.

I'm seeing the consultant next week as still no period, I expect he'll do a scan to check all's ok and then prescribe something to start my period so we can try again.

It's been a difficult few months but we're getting there and you will too. Take away sounds good!

How is your puppy? I saw the photo over Christmas and he/she looks really sweet.

[Dee22]

Hi Piglet12, was just thinking about you so logged in and saw this post. You are far from silly, you have every right to be upset. you are grieving and it will take time. There will be bad and good days. Seeing the consultant may help you think towards the future. I agree that you should allow yourself time to grieve especially today and don't feel bad about it. Take care. Lots of love xx

[Hidden in reply to Dee22]

Hello dee22. Thank you for your reply and lovely words. I had a very good cry earlier Which has helped. I will believe the meeting next week will help us both to look forward. And we will know how much money we need etc and a general plan. Hope your doing ok lots of love. Xxb

[Hope23]

Hey lovely

I cried the day I would have been 12 weeks too - so I SO know what you are going through. The others are right - allow yourself the bad days and let them happen - cry, shout, and let it out, because it is better than bottling up those sad feelings. I don't have the answers, I wish I did. We have my step daughter this weekend, and although I get on with her, sometimes I just find it SO hard and upsetting that my husband has had a child with someone else, and I have all these problems having a baby with him. Its really painful sometimes and I do feel anger - which I know may sound awful, because its not her fault after all. She doesn't know about the treatment, miscarriage or anything though, so that is probably a good thing.

Anyway my heart goes out to you, and most importantly don't beat yourself up about the sad days you have - its all part of getting over something that hurt you both very much. It will take time hun.

My lovely friend sent me a picture from Pinterest the other day, as she knew I was feeling down, and the words touched me and I thought that is so true. Easier said than done though - but here is the quote anyway....(I can't upload the picture on this thread by the looks of it)

"Getting over a painful experience is much like the crossing the monkey bars....you have to let go at some point, in order to move forward"

I'm not saying you should totally let go of what happened (or forget), but purely that you and your husband have to move forward - as and when you feel ready - to the next stage and keep as positive as you possibly can about your future options. I really hope the meeting with the consultant goes well, make sure you write down all your questions, because it is easy to forget once you are in there. I always remember something else on the way home - lol!

Hugs to you - you will get there for sure XX

[Hidden in reply to Hope23]

Hello. Thank you for your lovely words and reply. That is a fantastic way to look at it. And I know in time we will move on. I don't think we will ever forget this. But we will look to the future. I wish I had answers but it's just one of this things. No one knows why it happens. I had a good cry earlier. It's not awful that you feel anger about that situation about your step daughter. It's natural to feek that way. But it's also good that you realise it's not her fault. So give yourself credit for that. And your making an effort with her, so give yourself credit for that also. Thank you for hugs. Hugs back to you. Hope this weekend Goes ok for you. Lots of love. ️Xx

[Hollibob]

Sad times

You have to go through all the emotions and it will take time.....

Take a new step each day x

[Hidden]

Hey piglet

Of course it'd not sully to feel this way.... Every thing you have planned for has not worked out and it's constant reminders daily. It will take time to heal and you will have days when what's should have been makes you angry and upset.

Just remember to be vocal about it, speak with hubby vent but let it out.

I too should be reach 10 week stage but it didn't take at all and another lady is sailing through hers now we had ET same day.

Life has its knocks and it's never easy but pray and hope that all.of us on her some how some way get our little bundle this year.

Keep ya head up

Tam xx

[pumpkin1]

Hi piglet12. Don't feel silly it's a very emotional time. You, like me, are grieving for what you had and were looking forward to, but also your hormones will be all over the place. I'm 40 in a couple of weeks and would have been having my first scan so we had planned to tell people then. Not going to happen now. Take care and just go with your feelings on a daily basis xx

[Princess09]

Hi piglet12,it takes a long time 2 come 2 terms with whats happened and its always harder when certain milestones come up.dont be hard on yourself,its very early days and some days are going 2 be harder than others but remember that u will get through it and you will start to feel better.take care.xx