Still taking in the results, another negative. We are just so utterly broken, how can life be this unfair, what have we done wrong to deserve this?
I have to get a blood test to confirm our result and then I can come off the meds.
I've called in sick today and told my boss I won't be in. Can't face that today.
I've already asked my clinic for their thoughts on what's next? I'm now completely sure there is something wrong with me, I'm not putting another back in until we know what we are dealing with here. I have 2 embies in the freezer and don't want to waste these.
I feel like I'm wasting my life and all our savings on a pipe-dream.
Does anyone have any ideas of why this hasn't worked and things I should be asking for tests on?
Thank you ladies
Big hugs all round xxx
Written by
Hannah143
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Oh Hannah, I'm just so so sorry you are having to go through this. Life can be so tough sometimes. Sorry no words of widsom really. Look after yourself at this sad time xxx
Oh darling, don't lose hope. I know how can this be heartbroken and unfair. For 2 times I lost it, 1st was a fresh cycle and 2nd a frozen one, both times didn't get the positive. I was feeling like you, lost, without hope, ask my doc why this was happening and he said we never gonna know because everything was looking really good. I took a rest from the treatment, went in holidays with husband, when I come back start all again, but this time with a fresh mind, I stop worrying about, stop talking with everybody about this subject, just took my day-by-day like before the treatment. When start again all the medication and appointment's I just try to remain calm and didn't think to much about it, put in back 2 frozen embryos, and now... I'm 6 weeks pregnant today 😉😊
Don't lose your hope's hun, believe every day. I know, can be difficult sometime, but believe me hun, it's worthy, and if you try to empty your mind from all the lost, from all the problems, you'll see it's easier to go through the day 😉
Its nice to hear a success story, congratulations. This was my 7th (2nd DE, 1st FET DE transfer we put 2 in and 2 FET DE was this time, we put 1 back) I just don't believe that everything is ok, with DE having such a high success rate we should be pregnant by now xx
Oh Sweetie. I'm so sorry. It is totally unfair. Feel how you feel today. You are grieving and need to feel the grief. Stay in your pjs and feel utterly sorry for yourself. I'll be thinking of you over the coming weeks. Take your time and just let yourself feel it. I'm a month on today from our final bfn and I'm feeling more hopeful for the future. Sending you a big hug. xxx
Thank you Mrs C, I feel like the weather today! Wet and grey! I've had a quiet day at home today with my cats, my hubby went to work. Cried all day, so hopefully no tears left.
I still don't have my blood test result back from my Docs so my clinic won't move forward until they have this confirmed.
I'm pleased your feeling more hopefully, so Sorry to hear of your BFN too, it sucks all round xxx
Hey Hannah, just wanted to send my love and hugs! Its horrible getting all these negatives, you've had more than your fair share that's for sure! Life is bloody unfair! I have no idea what to suggest that you ask but Im sure your clinic will keep you right or a few other ladies may have some advice for you! Take care!xx
Thank you, I have lots of questions for my clinic but until they have the blood test confirming my BFN they won't move forward. I went to my Gp who I had to fight to do this test for me, hey said as I was having private treatment they don't support the tests on the NHS. Mental!! I really don't know where I was supposed to go for a blood test.
Anyway it's still not back, so need to call back tomorrow 😪 Xx
I had a but of an argument with my GP too for STI testing. It's ridiculous....if I just slept around I could have them for free. Got them in the end but blooming heck frustrating, we pay our national insurance.... grrrrr! Hopefully you'll know more tomorrow sweet!xx
Thank you, I don't know why they are so unhelpful!! I don't use the NHS for anything and I pay enough tax a year to feed the 5,000! It's a total joke!! All I asked for was a blood test. Xx
So sorry to hear this look after yourself , sending big hugs x
Hey sorry for your news. I'm only one cycle in (failed) so I can't help with advice but wanted to wish you lots of love and care in a truly horrible time. Xxx
Hi Hannah143. I am so sorry to hear your news. I have been there and I know how devastating it is. You are right to not go to work today. You need the day for yourself....maybe a couple of days if work allows?
Can I ask why you might think there is something wrong?
I have an FET cycle up next and I will be under a miscarriage clinic before the FET.
I have stage 4 endo, adenomyosis, ovarian cysts, mostly blocked FT and fibroids. I have 3 frozen embryos left and feel exactly the same as you in that I do not want to waste them hence getting advise from different consultants.
There are no words. There are many of us here who share in your loss.
Thinking of you today and sending you lots of hugs xxxx
Thank you, today has been good for me to have some time to cry and chill without the stress of the office.
This was my 7th attempt, 3rd donor embryo, we saw donor eggs as our answer and so very confused and upset we have another BFN.
Thank you for your kind message, I'll be thinking of you on your difficult journey too xxx
So so so sorry for the bfn they're so cruel and heartbreaking 💔
Right now you don't have to make any hard or fast decisions.
Have you had any immune tests done such as NK cells? ( I had mine done last year
which are slightly raised so I'm taking Prednisone in my pregnancy).
Have you had a hysteroscopy to look closer in your uterus to see if there are any abnormalities that s scan might not have detected? ( I had one done two years ago which was all clear).
Have you had a laparoscopy to rule/ treat endometriosis? ( It took us trying for 5 years and 10 months till I got endometriosis diagnosed and treated- happily the first month of trying since lap I conceived!) Endo can really affect fertility. It can only be diagnosed via laparoscopy. If my endo hadn't been found I'd never have conceived.
I also took pregnacare , drank a pint of milk everyday ( lactose free), ate pineapple from ovulation to six days after to help implantation. I'm guessing you've done all that.
I wish you the best and I hope you get answers so that you can move forward a plan. This journey can feel relentless ( even after a positive test). Take care of yourselves xoxo
Really good advice. I have my NK cell test booked early September, I hope it will make a difference. I wish I could eat pineapple but I am allergic to it, Pineapple and Kiwi fruits don't like me but I would be eating it if I could. I should really look for an alternative to pineapple.
Thank you, I'm going to ask my clinic about all 3 things. Perhaps I could have these things in the Uk rather than going one to Spain to have this done.
Feels like I have some exploring to do before I move forward.
Ah Hannah that is crap. DE has an over 90% success rate with 3 goes. This is just your first go with DE. You WILL get there. Take a few days out and then regroup and get in touch with your clinic and go again. Tell your doctor that you want a thorough investigation of everything before proceeding with the 2 Frosties xxxx hugs and love xxxx
Thank you, no this was my third Donor Egg embryo, 2nd transfer. The first donor transfer we went for 2 embies and this time we went for 1. So yes I agree with you, 3 embies in should be about 90% success rate which makes me seriously question if there is something else going on here.
It's 3 goes that gives the success of 90% so you have 1 more go before you hit that and the next go will be it for you. My friend had 3 IUIs, 3 OE IVF and 2 DE IVF and none of them worked. She had a third go of DE and she had her son two weeks ago xxxx
Hey Hannah, it's three transfers that give the 96% success rate. My clinic said 66% succeed the first go, 86% succeed the 2nd go and 96% succeed the 3rd go. So basically if you commit to three different transfers, regardless of the no of embryos you put in, after the 3 goes you will have a 96% chance of having got your pregnancy! Xxxxx
So sorry hun. Don't give up you'll get there do what some others suggested v get investigated to make sure no underlying issues and get prepared to go again. Just relax now and get your v emotions out take good care of yourself. Xx
I'm so so sorry to hear this news x you must be fed up with it all xx have they said you have had all the tests you can? When is your consultant appointment? X
Yes today has been totally rubbish, totally fed up 😪. They won't speak to me until I've confirmed the pregnancy blood test, I called my GP at 5pm and it still wasn't in so I'll have to wait until tomorrow. Soon as I have this I can move forward. Our clinic is in Spain so we will set up a skype call to talk through. Xx
After two buns and no frozen embies, We had "level one and level two tests" which cost £3000 (eek). They tested nk cells, clotting, thyroid function, while blood count again, folic acid absorption and chromosomes (the chromosome karotyping was the only one for both of us). The tests showed a chromosome abnormality on my hubbie... but if you've managed to get frozen embryos then this probably isn't your problem. If you search nk cells Coventry you can pay £500 ish to have just nk cells tested with a cervical test, but mine was a blood test. If you look on the hfea website there's a write up about how much research there is to validate the treatments some private clinics do if they find abnormalities on any tests. Hope this helps. Xx
Also, agree with the other suggestions re ultrasound/hysteroscopy to look at your womb and consider if you want to push for a lap re endometriosis though I don't know if this prevents implantation or usually just prevents falling pregnant which is less relevant if you are using DE x
That is very helpful, thank you. I'm going to ask them about all of these things. Some I've had done, but I've not had nK cells, thyroid, or a hysteroscopy. I'll go on there and have a good read. Thank you lovely xx
Hannah I'm so so sorry to read such news, words are not enough to express our sadness. We will all continue to support you as much as possible.
Please take heart in knowing that you dud everything required and I for one would like to commend you on your bravery Hannah, easier said than done I know, but please remain strong ok, I hope and honestly pray that one day, you will be blessed
I'm totally gutted for you love & that's an understatement how I feel but I can't swear profusely on this forum to get across how angry I am at the universe not giving you the break you so deserve. Nothing I will say will help but I just wanted to send a big hug over to you and hope you can search for some useful feedback from this latest result.
I went back over our messages in the past trying to see if I could think of anything and there's only one thing I picked up on, I doubt it's helpful at all but...
You mentioned a while ago about MTHFR & taking x10 super dose of folic acid and Vit B6. I see a support organisation in Oz for MTHFR & they told me there was no point even taking super doses of folic acid - that's the synthetic form of folate which your body has trouble metabolising when you have MTHFR issues, so taking a super dose doesn't help you - you need to be taking Methylfolate or Folinic Acid (NB you have to be v careful with methylfolate as a lot of people react to it, so I take folinic acid & have had no issues for 6 or so months now) MTHFR can hinder uptake of the B vitamins too so I was advised to take Hydroxy B12 instead of normal B12 which I have trouble metabolising like the Folic acid/folate. (There are a few different forms of B12 you can take of u have MTHFR issues but the world health organisation recommends hydroxy B12 for B12 deficiencies) Anyway this is all a roundabout way of saying I'd ask to get your Active B12 blood levels measured (active levels is a far more precise way of seeing what your body is actually using & a better indicator of a deficiency, total B12 blood test is pretty useless according to the guidance I've had in Oz) and test for folate levels too. I was deficient in B12 & had v high folate showing all the folic acid in a pre pregnancy supplement I was taking was just stacking up in my body & not getting used effectively (i.e. Not getting metabolised) & the extra Iodine in the supplement also threw my thyroid out of whack too so that's worth checking as well.
I used to have terrible joint problems especially my hands, almost arthritic feel to my finger joints, 6 months on B12 & I've never had a problem again. This was after seeing countless doctors about my finger swelling & none of them helping. B12 is also important in fertility I believe.
So this is just one avenue you could maybe explore further? it probably doesn't help at all but you're going thru hell & i just wanted to rack my brains to see if I could offer up anything useful. MTHFR issues seem to get more attention in Australia but obviously there's also a lot of dismissiveness about it all too so it's hard to say if there's anything in it, but I do know Vit B12 & Folate are big fertility hormones and should be checked out.
Also get thyroid levels checked too & not just TSH but Free T4 & FreeT3 & thyroid antibodies & I got Iodine levels checked too.
Sorry I can't be more use, I just wanted to highlight a few things which I've come across as I know you'd also been flagged up with MTHFR issues.
All the very best, sorry I can't be of more help, thinking of you xxxx
Thank you for such a thoughtful message and your big hug. I feel better than I did last week, it just takes time to stop the tears and pick yourself up doesn't it.
Ooo yes I remember us talking about this. I'm going to research Folinic Acid and also ask about B12 deficiencies and Thyroid. I do believe that all of these things create the right environment for our bodies to be able to have babies, and when it's out of kilter it doesn't work.
You're very welcome love. I felt so helpless reading your news and so wished I had some answers for you.
Pleased to hear you're feeling a little bit brighter. Don't estimate how very proud you should be of yourself to constantly pick up the pieces and face life, you're one strong cookie!
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Another BFN
Another BFN, When to give up? 
It’s official yet another BFN
