I was wondering if any of you have ever lost all your hope in this journey ending with a positive outcome? I'm due to start ivf in a couple of months and seem to have no hope that it is going to work. I'm scared that if I don't get some hope back before it starts then it will automatically fail and it will be my fault.
I don't know why I feel like this... I've tried many things to help but just can't seem to budge the pessimistic feeling. Has anyone else ever felt like this? What did you do that helped? And do people think that if they don't believe the ivf will work then it definitely won't?
Would love to hear your thoughts and any stories.
Love and hugs to you all and praying that each of us soon has the news we long to hear. Xxx
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Violet5451
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A good bit of advice I was given is that it doesn't matter if you think positively or negatively...it won't affect the outcome. Unfortunately ivf is a lottery so most of the stuff you can do to "help" is probably a bit pointless but if it makes someone feel better, there's no harm in it.
I think we've all been in the same shoes several times in our journeys...mentally it's hard going! Its completely normal, but as I say, whatever we think in our heads won't change the outcome! (I was always being told to "think positively or to "ask the universe" but nah its not for me...I preferred what i call the "realistic approach"...and it worked for me lol!)
I agree. Whether you are positive or negative about your chances of success it will have no bearing on the outcome. I'm in the tww of my third treatment now. I started my first cycle negative, second more positive and this one edging towards negative again. It's just a state of mind. It's natural to build up your defences against the bitter disappointment of ivf not working. Having said all that it can work and it does work. You will see plenty of women on here who it has done exactly that for. They will give you hope xx
I love this. I've been for Reiki and they told me it wasn't happening because I'm not seeing it enough and I need to be more positive. Ok so after 4 years, 2 operations and a failed IVF attempt it's because I'm not positive enough! Xxx
You could try the book The secret. I am usually miss pessimistic but this book helped me try to turn my feelings around for ivf. I do not know why, but it did. Yes it's cheesy but it worked.
I think the whole ttc and ivf process leaves you feeling so out of control, isolated and like a failure when everyone else is seemingly popping out kids with the greatest of ease. When i start to feel helpless or anxious I know it's a symptom of me getting depressed and time to nip it in the bud before it develops.
I made sure I didn't lock myself away (My usual depressed hermit self). I talked through everything with my friends rather than a counsellor, read the secretbook and was kind to myself in having reflexology and massages throughout treatment. And laugh lots. I lost my sense of humour during ivf to the point where the only thing that got me full on laughing was you've been framed. Luckily its on every day on sky.
I felt exactly like this after my last cycle, I spoke to a counsellor who actually recommended this forum and It has been that with a few other adjustments that made me feel like I could go through another cycle.
I'm not sure I totally believe now that how you feel or think has a lot to do with it working, I think a lot of it comes down to luck. Don't ever blame yourself though, your brave for putting yourself through another cycle xx
I felt exactly the same way before my second cycle. After the first one failed I felt really negatively about the second one. Then I felt guilty about feeling negatively and worried about how my feelings would impact the cycle. Unfortunately this didn't change throughout the cycle up until my test day. But it didn't make any difference and the cycle was successful! My advice is to let yourself feel what you feel and try not to worry about whether it'll impact the outcome because it won't! Good luck
I always reply with the same thing on threads like these (there are lots, we all feel like this sometimes on this emotional rollercoaster). My reply is "believe in science not magic", there's no scientific evidence that your emotion will affect the outcome. The same way your emotions won't affect whether you catch chicken pox or not.
Having said that, obviously, when you're about to embark on all those drugs, you want to try to feel positive, so all the suggestions from others are great.
Thank you so much for all your replies & suggestions. I will have a look at the book "secret" tonight. It really helps to know that people feel the same and although they have felt negative throughout the cycle- they still had a positive.
I never thought ttc would be such a hard and difficult time in my life. I know that if and when we do become mums- we will forever cherish our bundles of joy.
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Feeling anxious and lost
Going slowly insane, advice needed :-/
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