Feeling anxious and lost

Hi ladies

I'm going in for surgery tomo and it's dawning on me that after this operation I will never be able to conceive children naturally ever again. I know it's all in the name of allowing IVF to work but I can't seem to see past this right now.

I'm a bit of a mess just want it to be over with now so I can get on with everything else x

17 Replies

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  • I hope your surgery goes well and you recover quickly. Being told you need IVF is a shock, even if you haven't had surgery. This op is another step on your journey and hopefully treatment will result in a BFP and a healthy baby.

    Take time to recover from the surgery and then you'll be able to focus on IVF.

  • Thank you pm27 xx still trying to learn all these acronyms lol

    I'm sure it will be OK it's just a horrible thought really that you have to loose something that everyone else around you takes for granted xx

  • Hey

    I can only speak for my own experience but that shock and grief never ends. You have to accept it otherwise you'd never get out of bed but it is significant and anyone who has children can never understand that loss... Take care of yourself and talk to a counsellor... As I've complained about numerous times your friends and family are well meaning but they really can't empathise with your hurt.

    You will be ok I believe we are stronger than we know... Try to focus on the blessings in your life and take it one day at a time xxx

  • Thank you hun xx

  • Hi Dreams1982. Just wanted to wish you well with your surgery today. By the time you read this hopefully it will all be over with. Just remember, that although you will not be able to conceive naturally, removing your hydrosalpinges will give you a much better chance of success with IVF/ICSI. Make sure you rest up well afterwards, and I'm sure you will be soon get over the actual operation. Thinking of you. Diane

  • Back home and resting up now xx glad the surgery is all over and done with and now we can look forward to the next steps in our baby journey xx

  • Hi Dreams1982. Well done you! At least the "nasty" stuff is over with. Make sure you rest up when you can, so you can recharge your batteries, and accept any offers of fuss! Get well soon! Diane

  • Feeling quite low at the minute but my husband and family are looking after me. Started bleeding today though so bit worried as I'm on prostap to stop my periods right now x

  • Hi Dreams1982. My dear girl that is quite normal to feel so rubbish at the moment. You have had surgery you never dreamed you would ever have. Pleased to hear that you are getting some well deserved fuss. Don't worry about the bleed, as surgery is a great way to upset hormones. You should soon settle back down. Diane

  • Thank you Diane can't even tell you how nice it is to have someone like you on the other end of a message xx I want to tell people how I feel but they don't quite connect on the same level and also in my culture this is still a touchy subject so I can't talk about it openly

  • Hi Dreams1982. Thank you for your kind comments, and if ever you want to talk anything over, you can do so with a private message in confidence if you prefer. Thinking of you. Diane

  • Hope your surgery went ok and your recovering well. I was in a similar position due to fluid it both tubes which was diagnosed after 4 natural miscarriages and thought I would be an emotional mess, however, completely the opposite!! I've felt the best i've felt in months, and in a way alot of pressure was lifted as do not have to constantly worry if i'm pregnant or not, or having to time sex at certain times, and no worry of if i'm having an ectopic (i had 2 previously) so all in all, as much as its seems so final and ivf is the only way forward, you'll realise that you'll feel a lot better and can lead a normal life like before trying for a baby, its made my husband and I close again as the constant recurrent miscarriages had taken a toil on our relationship, however that pressure has now gone and we're back to how we should be ☺️ My op was march 4th, and i'm now a week into my ivf meds now, so things do move quite quick once you've healed. I also started reflexology right after my op which I feel really helped with my healing and keeping me relaxed. Have had it weekly since then and will continue throughout my ivf cycle. Hope you are ok. Please message me if you have any questions xx

  • Hi baby2016

    Im a week post surgery now. Was quite upset after but getting there. Think I've caused myself some damage today been getting really bad stomach pains on one side that just don't quite seem right. Will have to call my gp tomo I think as it's worrying me a little xx

    I'm not sure when I will be seen by my clinic again they just said 6-8 week recovery. I've never been pregnant before and knew from an early age it was going to be hard - just never knew it was going to be this hard.

    How are your meds going? Is it hard injecting yourself xx

  • Hi Dreams1982, is the pain around your ovaries? I did get some pain on my right side which I put down to possible scar tissue forming, and my body ovulating. The stitches caused me more pain then anything, thought they were disovable ones but went to the docs 12 days after the op to be told they weren't and should have gone sooner to have them removed!! Once they were removed I felt much better. I literally did nothing for 2 weeks though and just rested. Stayed at my mums so I could be waited on 24hrs a day! Haha! I had my follow up appointment 6 weeks after and they literally said I was good to go! Just had to wait till my next AF and it all started! Not started the injections yet, hopefully wed after my baseline scan. Just finished my down regging tablets, so fingers crossed for wed.

    Try and stay positive, and please believe me when I say the tubes are better off out than in when their damaged. And the risk of miscarriage is fairly high when you have hydrosalpinx, and there is alot of evidence now linking damaged tubes to causing ovarian cancer and they now recommend in amercia all women to have them removed after they've had their children to prevent ovarian cancer, so they a def best off out, albeit I know that doesn't stop the sadness. Mine was more when I found out I had it and what had to be done. I was so angry that it had not been picked up sooner and had to go through several miscarriages before it was diagnosed. Even now the thought that the ivf may work and me still miscarry fills me with dread, as if that happened i'd feel everything i'd been through had not worked, and thats what worrys me.

    Have you also had the NK cell test done? My results were positive so will have to take steriods from day of transfer to help reduce my killer cells.

    It was the right move you made, don't look back, look to the future and hopefully it will bring your much wanted rainbow baby 😄🌈 xx

  • Whats the no cell test x

    My husbands been good as gold bless him looking after me. The pain is between my belly button and the cut they made near my bikini. It's was really strange took my breath away.

    Here's to us both getting where we want to hun xx let us know how you get on xx good luck

  • The NK test stands for natutal killer cells, its where if your cells are too high the theory is it can attack your foetus thinking its a foreign object, resulting in miscarriage. Cannot be done on the nhs, and costs about £370 privately. However if confirmed the medicine to help combat it is given through your cycle. However because you have not miscarried you may be ok.

    Your pain sounds like it may just be healing, but go to the docs all the same. They are so annoying where they are as they run on knickers don't they! I was dressing minw every day as they felt better covered however the nurse told me I should have let more air to them as the heat can cause infection to grow. I think my left one was on the verge of getting infected when they removed the stiches.

    My mum and sister were then telling me to start putting oil on the scars to reduce them, however i'm going to, i'm sort of proud of my scars in a wierd way. They represent the horrible journey I have had but hopefully also represent the joy of a successful pregnancy! They are part of me and tell a story that only I and my hubby know the full details too! Hope you feel ok xxx

  • I absolutely get what you mean about a journey that only you and your hubby understand. It's hard to explain it to anyone else. Managed to get in to see my doc today to get this pain looked at so hopefully its nothing to worry about. Xx

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