Failed ivf

[Jayde2221]

Hi I'm new to this and just had my first failed icis. How do you all cope with the pain and emotions and how long do you all wait til you try again

[E_05]

Hey, so sorry it was unsuccessful. I think everyone deals with it differently, I found time and taking each day as it comes really helps. Maybe you could have something to focus on to help get you through? I waited 3 months between my IVF cycles as I had frozen embryos but again your clinic would probably be able to offer you the best advice for timings. Look after yourself x

[Jayde2221]

I didn't get any frozen embroys from my cycle so it'll be a whole new process, it's ridiculously painful and im feeling way to many thoughts that I just can't shift, part of me wants to go straight back in for it other half says no don't do it, I had such a hard time with this icis I was hospitalised for a week with OHSS and was really badly poorly and im terrified it'll come back second time, if ivf wasn't hard enough OHSS definitely topped it off! I am feeling so sorry for myself and to make matters harder my sister is due her baby September and it's going ti be so hard to face the baby once it's here cos atm I can't face babies I've took myself of Facebook and social media because it's torture looking at all the happy families so longingly wanting my own, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with which sounds so silly cos I've been to some pretty rough places in my short life!!

[E_05 in reply to Jayde2221]

It doesn't sound silly at all it's hard to be on social media and see everyone's announcements. I also understand the pain of your sister having a baby, my SIL announced she was pregnant the day after I found out my cycle was unsuccessful and I couldn't face her during her pregnancy at all - maybe you could explain to your sister how your feeling? Have you considered talking to a counsellor? Only you can decide which is best either throwing yourself back in or taking some time. All I can say is I threw myself back into it after I miscarried and realised it was the wrong was of coping, I've taken more time between my last failed cycle and beginning my 4th, done a lot of talking and felt in a lot better place when starting. This is such a rubbish journey to be on but please know your not alone x

[Jayde2221 in reply to E_05]

Your 4th wow I don't know how you do it!! I don't like the wait of it all im just so inpatient, every Christmas that comes by I think next year will be my year every year im disappointed, however I suppose I'm closer to the final result now then I was 3 years ago! I think councelling might be best im dreading going ti work tomorrow to tell people my disappointment it's a awful process!

[E_05 in reply to Jayde2221]

I think time does help after my last cycle I was sure I wouldn't put myself through anymore but I'm currently down regging for my fresh cycle.

I totally relate to Christmas, both my brothers have children and I always think next year it'll be with my new born however it's my brother again - it's definitely tough. Your clinic should be able to offer counselling. Have you been able to tell anyone from your work so you don't have to keep doing it face to face?

[mupcake]

I would definitely wait for few months before starting it all over again. Relax and take deep breath. Give yourself chance to heal.

[NsKaz]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. I had my bfn 10 days ago (first ivf cycle) and I had OHSS as well (luckily I wasn't hospitalised in the end but I was close to it) so I can empathise. It's really awful and I'm so sorry you've had to go through that.

I'm the same - have come off fb and other social media for my own sanity. I think it's good you've done that - why put yourself through the pain of seeing those posts?

I have to wait 3 months before I can try for my frozen round, which seems like an age away. I'm muddling through all these feelings & just trying to take one day at a time. Some days I feel less shit and others I feel awful.

I'm sorry to hear about the timing of your sister's pregnancy. It's so hard as you want to be happy for them but it's just such a blow. My best friend is being induced today and 2 others have just had their babies. It's hard, but I've found seeing them pregnant is the worst thing for me. Once the baby is here weirdly I can kind of cope with it...

I wish I had some advice for u or could take the pain away. The only things I can suggest are the things that (sometimes) work for me - talking it through with close friends and family, seeing a counsellor, doing things that make u feel as good as u can in the situation, crying, writing, seeing people and spending time with your other half. I'm considering doing the stuff I've stopped doing whilst ttc / on ivf. (Drinking! Horse riding, eating what I want).

It's such a horrible journey with so many lows. I wish none of us had to endure the pain, heartache and disappointment but we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and try not to lose hope.

Wishing you a speedy recovery (it takes bloody ages to get over OHSS and I'm only just starting to feel healthy). Take care of yourself - don't beat yourself up, just allow yourself to feel what u need to feel.

Take care lovely. Here anytime you want to chat / rant - just message. Xx

[Lamorna80]

We had a failed icsi cycle too & no frozen embryos. I was so upset at the thought of going through it all again as the medications really affected me, it was only after coming off them that I felt myself again, more positive and able to consider the next step.

We only had one NHS funded cycle so the cost of having to go through it and pay for it with the strong possibility of it not working was a worry.

After having a review appointment with the consultant I felt more positive and that it was worth carrying on. We went straight in to a second cycle (however it has still been 3 months due to having to wait for an available slot with the clinic). It gives you the chance to remember you have a life, enjoy yourself again and to build up your armour for the next battle.

Good luck with your next step, whatever you decide ❤️