Ivf fail at Christmas

[JennyRLR]

Hello, so I was due to do a pregnancy test today but I started bleeding heavily on the 23rd and it’s still coming. Obviously all tests are negative. I’m so low, I just didn’t expect it to be so brutal. I think I had prepared myself for a negative test but not the stock of a period three days earlier. I have to go to work today, how do I move on?

[Saya85]

I'm so sorry to hear that Jenny

I too bled heavily in my first cycle only 6 days in

I wasn't prepared for that(!) It was horrendous so I can completely empathise. I also bled just the night before OTD on my second cycle too. I then took extra pessaries and bleeding stopped but it was too late by then

Can you call in sick to work? Although it may be best to go in and keep yourself distracted for a while until you can process it all later.

It's so cruel when it happens but there is hope in the future and things you can look into to try and help next cycle if you do wish to try again

So many of us have had numerous failed cycle and then been lucky enough for a BFP - me included. I still bled on this cycle but it was just implantation- bleeding and not like the others but I never thought it would happen for us. And I'm still scared things will go wrong every day- the worry never ends

Really hope you find some strength and comfort in those around you. Lean on your OH as much as you need to

Keeping you in my thoughts x

[Saya85 in reply to Saya85]

P.s. can you contact your clinic ? And how far into the tww are you? If it's 11dp5dt or earlier there may still be a chance it's implantation- bleeding

Is it heavy and bright red like AF? Or dark blood also in it

I had some red vaginal bleeding but it then subsided.

Don't stop your meds until you contact clinic just in case x

[JennyRLR in reply to Saya85]

Thank you so very very much Saya. That message is really what I needed to hear. You’re so right it’s that I wasn’t prepared. It always good to hear hope. It’s our first cycle so you’re right there is hope. Thank you again and best wishes to you.

[Saya85 in reply to JennyRLR]

Oh I'm so glad

And if it was your first cycle so I'm assuming a fresh transfer ?

A lot of women have more success with a FET as it's far less medication and hormones than a fresh one

Really really hope the best for you and if you need an ear you can message me whenever xxx

[JennyRLR in reply to Saya85]

It was fresh and a good quality egg but it was the only egg we had so they didn’t wait five days and just put it in. We’ve learnt loads through stage one so we will be more prepared next time. Thanks again

[Saya85 in reply to JennyRLR]

Oh I see. Good luck for next cycle - really hope you get more answers at your consultation

It's strange re: egg quality. As long as there is no chromosomal issue I'm.resding more and more success stories with lower grade embryos than high grade ones - I wonder if it's to do with a lower one implanting and then growing in our body rather than accelerating outside of us.

Our first two cycles were top grade A embryos and failed.

This time we had 2 X 4BC embryos and a bfp! As have lots of other ladies

Of course I believe the medication protocol I have now is far better with extra progesterone support (injections as well as pessaries) and blood thinners and steroids for my thyroid. Many women respond well to blood thinners in cycles to help with building the lining to the womb and healthy blood supplly. Even baby aspirin although not sure if a fresh cycle would support that.

Jsut for future reference please do check your thyroid and vitamin levels as these are some of the biggest reasons for failed implantation- and early miscarriage but some clinics overlook it even though it's well know and proven.

Most of all-time easily fixable.

Your thyroid TSH should be below 2.5 (not the normal 4) when TTC.

Sorry if this sounds like a lot ATM I just wanted to pinpoint a few things for you later when you have the chance to process it x

[JennyRLR in reply to Saya85]

That’s great advice, thank you.

[HollieW]

I'm so sorry to hear this. BFN's are devastating; especially at Christmas. I hope you have lots of support xx

[Dunla]

I’m very sorry to hear this Jenny. I don’t think anything can prepare you for the grief you experience when things don’t go well. Sending you a big hug. Go gently with yourself at this difficult time xx

[JennyRLR]

Thank you everyone xx

[Tugsgirl]

Despite the statistics we are all so bitterly disappointed by bfns. We have so much hope and then boom! It’s gone in an instant. Bfns are hard.

Ask about extra progesterone support for next time, it may prevent bleeding before otd. If you send Diane a private message she’ll send you a list of questions to ask at your follow up appointment xx

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to read this - I had a similar experience on my first round and had embryos put back on day 2 because we only had 2 and none to freeze. I started bleeding about 7 days afterwards and it was my period.

I think we go in with such PMA because we are told to.. and its impossible to prepare yourself for the disappointment. my advice would be take some time to absorb what's happened. I didnt, I tried to soldier on and it all suddenly hit me a couple of weeks later. You do have to grieve for lost opportunities and lost hope. But you also have to remember just because it hasn't worked this time it doesn't mean it won't next time and I think the first cycle or two your body is sort of working out what its supposed to do. for example my first round I got 3 eggs and 2 fertilised, round two I got 13 and 6 fertilised.

Thats a long winded way of saying - take some time, be sad, and then positive head on and back at it. I send you loads of hugs and tons for luck for next time xx

[JennyRLR]

Thanks so much, every just hearing your words is helping xx

[JennyRLR]

Take time to be sad is the biggest message for me xx

[Ebonynelly]

So sorry dear. Sending you a big hug.

[Ruby26]

I’m so so sorry. Only time helps I think. My first ivf cycle failed 3 weeks ago and every day I feel a little better about things then I have a rough day where I just cry. Just know it’s ok to not be ok xxx

[JennyRLR in reply to Ruby26]

Thanks Ruby. It sounds like we are in the same place ever you ever need to talk xx