Feeling anxious and tense-how do you ... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling anxious and tense-how do you manage?


Hi Guys, just having a bit of a whinge so apologies lol.

Recently i've started feeling very tense around my neck and shoulders and anxious about the out come of this ivf.

I'd consider myself as a positive person but can't stop thinking about what will happen and fearing the worst. I don't get that much of a good nights sleep anymore, my neck and shoulders are tight and tense am my mind is doing over time. This whole chapter of unexplained infertility in my life is taking over me.

I'm sure i'm not the only one feeling like this and i guess it's only natural. What techniques do you use to help you cope, I don't want to start acupuncture or anything yet but have considered it and will probably do it if this round doesn't work.

Thank for listening. xx

8 Replies

That's a difficult one. I found it sooo difficult, as I wasn't working either (had resigned from my job due to terribly painful stage 4 endo, and to focus on IVF).. so I had all the time in the world to worry and stress.

I just used distraction. When my hubby was around, we did nice things at weekend. Went for gentle walks and nice food.

In the week I sadly became a TV, well, netflix series, addict, just because it distracted me.

I used to love having a bath but avoided that on the TWW and when pregnant.

Are you having treatment or on the 2WW?

I was nice to myself during treatment and 2ww, that's important. I bought some nice cosy bigger clothes from George at Asda lol, to fit as I did put on weight quickly with treatment. I didn't wanna spend loads (as Id convinced myself it wasn't going to work), but I actually got a few really nice cosy jumpers etc.

I just did little things to make me feel better. Made my bedroom look nice too. Also spent a huge amount of time on fertility boards reading positive outcomes and avoided negative posts.

Can your hubby give a light gentle neck and shoulder massage with almond oil (something not too strong, think aromatherapy oils are out when pregnant, they can be too strong).

Perhaps nice warm milk before bed...gentle walks in the day helped with sleep, good for circulation and nothing strenuous.

Now I'm outta ideas :-) xxx

Veekay80 in reply to Hidden

Hiya, thanks for all the tips!

im going through the procedure at the moment, on my 5th day of down regging , predicting i will start stimming next weekend. I had 3 failed IUI's and haven't been able to get pregnant naturally using ovulation apps etc , i guess you just become so used to disappointment that even tho this is a fresh cycle you still think of the worst.

At the moment im working so that takes my mind off things , then when i get home i make dinner and take the dog for a walk, it's in between that time my mind starts wondering. I don't have any friends or family close by and where i live there's literally nothing to do. Ive downloaded a meditation app so im going to give that a go, likewise ive binged on netflix and hat does help alot actually lol, just feels like everything is going painfully slow!

I asked my boyf to give me a massage and he's pretty bad haha but i was thinking i might just book myself in for a shoulder massage somewhere.

Did you also do IVF, do you mind if i ask if you were successful?

Thanks xx

Hidden in reply to Veekay80

Hi Veekay80. I was very lucky, it worked first time for me. But it did take 10 years to get to that point. I am now considering trying for a sibling, but am 42 now! xx

Veekay80 in reply to Hidden

Wow that's great! Go for it! Good luck x


Hi Veekay80. Dealing with stress and tension is never easy, and I'm sure the ladies here will soon jump in and tell you how they cope. Meanwhile we have a very informative factsheet you might like to read through, just click fertilitynetworkuk.org/wp-c... Obviously I do wish you well with this cycle, and of course for a positive result. Diane

Veekay80 in reply to DianeArnold

Thanks Diane, i shall read that when i get in from work xx


I know your in two minds over acupuncture but I think a guy i saw who gave me acupuncture combined with massage and reflexology really helped me to combat the sleepless nights and helped to calm me down. Other things try downloading some mediation/ mindfulness apps (youve already done) which can be good to lisen too when your awake at 4am or during the day when you feel stressed. I also read mindfulness finding peace in a frantic world. I also find yoga is a great way to unwind and stay focused on something else for a while (if you cant find a class try yoga for beginners online), having a good upbeat positive playtrack on the go. Also when I'm feeling down I try and list all the greatful things in my life that make my happy to try and take my mind of everything fertility related. Also try and pick up a new hobby if you can as well i find the more you can distract yourself the better. Hope you find something useful xxx

Veekay80 in reply to Hidden

Thank you xx

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