So angry! 😠

[E_05]

Out with my friend today and of course the conversations of babies comes up, she asks when me & my hubby are thinking of having children..

I thought she already knew about my miscarriage but I was obvs mistaken. Once I'd told her that I had miscarried she started asking questions like was I in hospital etc so I explained i had to have medical management so had to take medication and stay in for the day.

She then went on to say 'oh yeah, my sister was the same she had to take medication last year cause she had an abortion'

I didn't want to get angry at her so kind of politely said well really it's nothing the same and made excuses to leave.

What I really wanted to yell in her face was NO THERE NOTHING THE SAME, your sister had a choice, I didn't!!

Why is there still just a taboo around miscarriage and infertility 😢

[lauren3189]

Aww I'm sorry you have had to have that conversation. I really hope attitudes change in the future and people become more sensitive xx

[E_05 in reply to lauren3189]

Thank you, me to x

[Hidden]

cannot believe she said that.. is she just not that bright? sorry.. but seriously, how insensitive and well, stupid... so sorry you had to sit and listen to that!

[E_05 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I know I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth x

[baby2016]

Ar what a horrible conversation to have to be a part of. I think you handled the situation extremely well, I'd have found it very hard to be as calm as you were. I never used to discuss my miscarriages with people but openly do now so that I can help educate people on the shear hell of going through them. Ignorance is bliss to so many people over such s heartbreaking thing. Hope your feeling ok. People just don't realise what their saying and how hurtful their so called innocent comments can be. Xx

[E_05 in reply to baby2016]

Thank you, thats so true. I never use to speak about my miscarriage either but my husband felt he couldn't grieve as he didn't know what he could say and to who so we decided to let people know just times like this make me so frustrated xx

[baby2016 in reply to E_05]

Yeah it's hard when it comes out of the blue at you like that. I find it hardest talking with family for some reason! It is hard for the other halves as they don't know what to do for the best to help. Xx

[bluewanderlust]

I am so very sorry that you had to take part in this conversation. Sending big hugs xxxx

[E_05 in reply to bluewanderlust]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

I think I'd have done the yelling in the face instead. Extremely insensitive and in no way the same. Fortunately the majority of people never experience infertility and miscarriage so they will never understand like someone who has. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. X

[E_05 in reply to Hidden]

It was very hard not to, I know me either. This is a journey no one should have to face x

[Tugsgirl]

What a stupid thing to say! 😡 Angry on your behalf xx

[E_05 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you! Xx

[Hidden]

I'm really sorry your friend has been so insensitive try not to let her stupid comments upset you xoxo

[E_05 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, i actually felt more anger than upset can't believe anyone would ever compare the 2 xx

[E_05]

Thank you, me to that's why we decided now to speak openly about it to help educate people on just how heart breaking it is x

[Oakey80]

Omg I can't believe she made that comparison! I would have had to have turned the table and started interrogating her as to why she thought they were the same...just to understand what was going on in her mind. Some people are so weird! xxx

[E_05 in reply to Oakey80]

That's a good point - I wish I'd thought of that to ask her actually just couldn't believe what I was hearing xx

[Fredaflintstone]

Unfortunately it seems that unless people have been through it they don't understand how important it is to choose words carefully and think before they speak. She was probably trying to show an understanding for what you'd been through but got it wrong. Maybe she'll think about her words and have the self awareness to apologise for being so insensitive but again unfortunately that seems to only come to those in the same or similar circs. Sorry you've been through this. It seems that those closest to us sometimes are the worst for putting their foot in their mouth. Xxx

[E_05 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Thank you, that's very true I think people never really know what to say and that's half the issue xx