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Fertility Network UK
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Miscarriage hi

Hi everyone in March started round 2 of ivf ( frozen embryo cycle ) and was really posit e about it working as last year had a successful pregnancy and thought nothing would or could go wrong until my world came crashing down on me 4 weeks ago . Had 6 weeks scan and was told baby was small but we saw the heart beat which was just amazing . I was still really positive thinking to myself the baby size would have caught up for my next scan 2 weeks later . Not prepared at all had my scan and was told " I'm really sorry but no heart beat " . My world feels like it's ended . I'm struggling to come to terms with everything as I was not prepared for it to fail . I'm feeling really low and can't stop crying . I went back to work last week and there a 2 pregnant ladies in my office which has made me even worse . My question is is it ok for me to take more time off work and how do I get my fight back to start treatment again ???

Please help

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So sorry for your loss, you will get your fight back but you have to grieve first, take all the time you need 💋💋

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Thank you so much x

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I`m so sorry.

You should take few days off. Just to recover mental health.

In case of your pregnant colleagues you can take active role in it, because u will be in the same situation in the nearest future

P.S.: it should give more strength to you instead of draining it.

P.P.S.: after they will give a birth to their children it can burst your mood even further.

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Hi Eh16. I was sorry to hear this, after all seemed to be going so well for you, then your whole world collapses - so cruel. No matter at what stage you lose a little one, it was your baby. You had already worked out when he/she was going to be born too, and for this reason you will need to grieve. It will be hard, as life caries on around you, and doesn't stop with you. I just hope that you are receiving lots of support just now, and maybe your GP could arrange some counselling for you?? I think you will have to be careful for now, who you spend time with, until you get your "fight" back - which will come, because you still want to be parents. Sending you much love and I shall be thinking of you. Diane

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Thank you so much Diane. I have joined this group for support and hopefully gain the fight I need to start treatment again 😘

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I know it's hard to struggle through these hopes and disappointments but many women have done it. it's always verity in each deal. I had such problems i've made 3 ivf and none of them BFP. moreover I was taking different pills which affected on my health. but now I'm looking for art medicine as donation.

never give up and good luck will find you. time will show

oxox

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I'm so sorry Hun . Thank you for your kind words x

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So sorry for you loss, I also miscarried last year with a similar situation I heard our baby and although they were worried about the size nothing could prepare me for the scan that followed. You need to take time to grieve for your baby, I think it's definitely okay to take more time off especially if you are going to be surrounded by pregnant colleagues. You will know when the time is right to start treatment again, take care of yourself x

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Hello Eh16, firstly I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. The exact same thing happened to us last year - everything was overwhelmingly positive at our 6 week scan and we saw a good strong heartbeat. Our consultant even said that she was looking forward to seeing us in another two weeks to see how much he/she had grown! Needless to say we were absolutely blindsided a fortnight later. I personally needed time to pick myself off the floor. Giving myself time away from pregnant relatives/friends/colleagues was the only way I could come to terms with everything and try to rationalise what had happened.

What I want to say is time's a great healer, although you may not believe me at the moment. It still hurts like hell when I think about all of our disappointments over the last 18 months but I'm now ready to face our second cycle head on. Stay strong and don't give up xx

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I am so sorry to know yr story. Take as much time as you need. Have y discussed with yr doc reasons why you experienced mc? What about additional testing or PGS NGS? Warm hugs

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They just said it was natures way . We will never know why it happened but baby wasn't meant to be on this earth 🌏 x

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Gutted to read this, I am so sorry that life can be extremely cruel! Thinking of you and sending much love...I hope there are brighter days ahead, but right now give yourself the space and time to grieve this terrible loss xx

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Thank you so much 😊 nothing can ever prepare you for such loss . I guess from reading all the messages time is s great healer 😥

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I'm sorry for your loss

The exact same thing happened to me two years ago and I ended up taking a month of work. Just take as much time of as you need and in time you will start to feel better xxx

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Work are pushing for me to go back . I just can't be around people who are pregnant at the moment . Don't want to lose my job either 😱

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You can't loose your job if you get signed off by the doctors.. if you explain the situation to your doctor they should happily sign you off xx

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A similar thing happened to us. Our fet gave us our first bfp. At the 6+3 scan all was normal and we saw the heartbeat. At our 8+3 scan we were told that the baby's heart was no longer beating. This was in April, one day before my birthday! The day after my birthday I had surgery to take away my baby. We were devastated and shocked. For days I thought I'd never get over it. Over the following weeks I struggled. But I'm here to tell you, it does and it will get easier. You'll never get over it, you'll never forget but you will learn to live with it. Good luck on your journey. Sending positive thoughts your way xx

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Thank you so much for your message and so sorry for you story too x all I can think and see is my babies heart beat ❤️X I need to get strong but don't know how x

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Give it time. It will happen xx

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I'm so sorry. That must have been an awful shock. I'm not surprised your struggling. I think it would take me a long time to get back to work. I definitely feel you should take some more time to look after yourself and get your head back in a place where you can face the world a bit better. Stay strong xxx

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