****Thank you all for letting me post my ramblings here. I fully intend to set up my blog to go with my Instagram account later this month. I feel safe writing here, but it's also a place to keep my posts in one place. Below is a letter to my embryos. Big love to you all.****
A letter to you both
It feels quite odd, writing a letter to you both now that you're gone. Where did you go? It's the only question I have really. You clearly weren't meant to be. I've wept a lot for you. We both have.
I pondered hard about writing to you. But I have so much to owe to you. You've made me such a brave and strong woman. You have made us such a strong couple. We can go through so much... with such devastation at the end of it... and still come out smiling. You represent the biggest decisions of our life being made.
You represent just how much I wanted to be a mother. I made the decision that I was happy to use another lady's eggs to become that mother.
You'll stay with us forever. We have a tradition in our home. From being born my mother bought a new Christmas tree decoration each year which was a symbol of an event that year; so she never forgot. When I got my own house she passed many of these on to me for my own tree. It became a tradition I kept alive and each year if something significant has happened, we add to the tree. The year I found out my eggs were a bit null and void I found a slightly broken bauble in the box. I laughed it was a symbol of my broken eggs and the wonderful man, who would have been your father, told me to keep it on the tree despite it being broken. The Christmas after our failed IVF, I unwrapped our decorations and accidentally dropped the broken bauble; it smashed. The symbol of my broken eggs was broken and unusable. We cried and laughed a lot and headed in to the new year planning our donor egg cycle.
After our embryo transfer in Cyprus I wanted to add the memory to our tree and bought two little angels to symbol you; our twembryos. After the sad outcome at our scan I didn't want to put them on the tree this year but that wonderful man has told me we must. They represent happier times and times of hope. Times we mustn't forget and hope we mustn't lose hold of.
I love what you've made us. I just hope that one day we will become the parents we want to be. xx
Written by
emu2016
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I take such inspiration from you, even though I'm at the very beginning of our journey, knowing there are others like you going through so much. You have such a courageous outlook and kind hearted spirit.
I wish love, luck and baby dust to you and the Mr.
Love this Emu, filled with such love and hope. We too buy a Dec each year for our tree to represent the year. It's like creating your life story on your tree. Here's to hope, perseverance and a big dollop of much needed good luck 🍀Xxx
Very beautiful and touching; loads of tears whilst reading it ❤️ Lots of love and hugs xx
Beautiful.thank you Emu.i always smile when i read about your journey.ypu have a way of making sad news into something positive.stay strong.we are all with you .xx
I'm sorry your road has been so hard to get there... but you will get your happy ending one day.... your strength as a person and a couple is inspirational.... take care xxx
That's a beautiful letter and a brilliant idea too Emu. You (and Mr Emu) really are an inspiration! Thinking of you at this hard time and sending you hugs xxxx
Brilliant post as ever. Very touching. If your dream's don't come true, there really is no justice in this world. I hold on believing there is meaning we will both get there, I just can't be specific on timings! All good things come to those who wait...yeah yeah, just speed things up a bit universe, do u hear me?! Big hugs at ya both xxx
I loved it and I felt every single word on my own personal level, I feel like you grasped the emotions and your mood quite amazingly... It was indeed brilliant.
Thinking of you and sending you love, hugs, and kisses! To both of you!
nice letter to your both, I wish I could be so strong as you are.
We have just started our de ivf treatment, we just made our first step, a small step on the way to successes. other people might tell it's not enough but I have to notice it was the biggest step in my life as we have thought about adoption before.
any way, it's not about me, I want to wish you good luck with your journey.
thanks a lot, you give me a hope that I will be pregnant. Frankly, I'm so scared, we have never been like this, I have never depended on other woman. I pray for this pregnancy every day. I believe one-day God hears my prayers
😭😭😭😭 beautiful emu, still so sorry this happened to you but I agree about making you & your relationship stronger, for us too that's the only good thing to have come out of all of this xxx
I once read a quote that went: " A happy family is but an earlier heaven" and you and MrEmu are a cracking family. I really believe that before long you will be able to add Emu-lets to that family and then you will have EVEN more heaven!
I love the tangible reminder of your embryo's. Those two angels will always have a (sad) backstory but each year when you handle them and hang them on your tree, you will always be filled with love for the little beings that almost were xx
What a wonderful tradition, you tell it like an old fairytale. So inspirational to us all - and you are truly the brave, strong woman you describe. This is not the end of your story. I am sure in the end you will eventually have cause to leave this forum but I hope you choose to stay and continue to inspire others, I can't imagine it without you. Xxx
We do this in our family! 🙂 And we also get a bauble that represents anyone up in heaven 😇 I'm just on the train on the way home from our first appointment at the fertility clinic and I'm trying to stop the huge tear that you've formed from dribbling down my face, as I think crying on your own on a busy train is a bit odd haha. What a beautiful letter. I hope you do start a blog, because I love reading your posts. X
Aaaaaawwww emu it's so so emotional. I wept so so much after reading this . Just like u ive got a teddy evwrytime I fell pregnant. And now every time I see them I miss my babies . Xx
U r truly a strong woman.
You will my lovely, no one deserves it more than you guys.
Hi emu2016. You may have heard my ramblings about the wonderful photo albums I have of babies I have been involved with from all sorts of fertility treatments. Well, one couple sent me a photo of their embryos that were lost and asked if I would include them with the others, as they thought that was the end of the road for them. Of course I couldn't refuse, and although not named (strict with confidentiality), I know who they belonged to, but hey, about 18 months later I was able to include a photo of their little baby brother, which was so good. He will learn of his two little embryos that didn't make it, one day, as he joins them in their family album. It hurts Mr and Mrs emu, as I know. Bless you both. Diane
So emotional, you are so brave and an inspiration to others going through similiar. By the sounds of it you have a wonderful partner - take care of each other xx
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How do you know your egg quality is poor?
How do you decide?😢🙈😢
How have you coped with IVF not working?
