Devastated x: So you might say why am I... - Fertility Network UK

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Devastated x

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So you might say why am I writing this but this forum has helped me through a lot x so we lost our baby at 8 weeks in June and decided to plant a bay tree in our garden . It had been beautiful to look at every day as it has helped me get through my loss .so storm Eleanor hit last night and my beautiful tree is no more . The wind was too strong and I'm devastated . I feel like my heart has been ripped out . This was to keep my baby alive and now it's gone πŸ’—πŸ’™

16 Replies
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_MrsC profile image
_MrsC

Oh I’m so sorry. I understand why you must be devastated. It’s like suffering the loss all over again. Sending you a big hug. xxx

in reply to _MrsC

Thank you so much for your message x

Benjaminy14 profile image
Benjaminy14

I'm so sorry this has happened I know how you feel . We lost our baby last January and the date is looming fast of the anniversary .all I can say is your baby will always be with you. I don't know if it helps but I had a necklace made its engraved with his name and the words ...there is no foot too small that it cannot leave an impact on this world .

It gives me comfort i know he lived and heard every beat of my heart . I can't bring him back but I feel his with me .

Mad I know but I feel like I'm carrying him with me every where I go .

Your baby is still with you every time your heart beats your baby will be with you .

I hope things get better for soon but until then know your not alone . And one thing I know for sure a life you create can never really leave you a bond between a mother and child is so strong not even death can break it .

Hugs

Nikki xxx

in reply to Benjaminy14

That is do beautiful x I just feel numb . My baby would have been due on 11th of January and I have been feeling nervous about how I was going to react once the date was finally here . No this has happened and I feel like I did all those months ago x thank you so much for you kind words x

Benjaminy14 profile image
Benjaminy14 in reply to

My thoughts are with you our date is the 21st I've decided to do something beautiful that day myself and my husband are going to let a Chinese lantern go with a note for him . I'm going to smile up at heaven and let him know we were grateful for him even if it was for a short time .

I'm back on the IVF rollercoaster now but no matter what happens my lost baby will always be part of my life and very much part of my family .

I'm here any time you need to share

God bless

Nikki xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

I’m sorry can totally understand why your so devastated. I agree with Nikki I to wear bracelets for both my babies with a feather and their initial on. We do have a grave to visit for our 2nd baby but I still like to feel l have something close to me. You will never forget your precious baby xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I’m so sorry. The tree we planted for our babies is looking very sick at the moment and I’m already wondering what to do if it completely dies. It would be miraculous if it picks up from the recent bad weather. Our tree is supposed to be an evergreen and to be able to withstand freezing temperatures too 😞 Please remember your baby is always with you and you will carry your little one in your heart always xx

Kempton profile image
Kempton

Really sorry to hear about the tree - bloody British weather! Can you try and put a positive stance on it all, like maybe it's a new year and you could plant another plant? Maybe your baby embryo is sending you a message to say goodbye to the grief and look to the future?

I bought a pair of earrings during my first 2ww when I was full of hope. That embryo, which I considered to be our baby and our future, didn't stick. I love wearing the earrings but I'm always so scared of losing one. And if I did I'd be as devastated as you are now but I'll always know that little embryo existed and was loved.

Hope this is your year!

I think it is very beatiful what you did planting the bay tree and you shouldn't be discouraged... They baby will always be alive in your heart, the tree was just another beatiful image of it, you can build as many images as you can think of with that love, the images might go at some point but the love that created them will never end.

Lots of love xxx

Dunla profile image
Dunla

I'm so very sorry to hear this, it must be very upsetting for you. Sending you hugs x

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

I'm so sorry that big storm had ripped your precious list little ones memory away, but your baby will always be in your heart!! Hugs xx

tiger-cub profile image
tiger-cub

Oh dear I'm so sorry to hear this . Hugs

kelsbels88 profile image
kelsbels88

Aww Hun I’m so sorry... I understand why you’re sad 😞 xx

😒 I’m sorry for your sadness. No advice just sympathy x

emu2016 profile image
emu2016

Oh Eh16 - sending you big hugs. We had bad news at 7.5 weeks in June too. I can't imagine what a stark reminder that stupid storm ripping up the tree has been for you - and I'm sure christmas hasn't been the easiest of times - it wasn't for me. Don't forget - your baby will always be alive in your heart.

I love the idea of a tree. I'd never thought of it before. We actually had christmas decorations (picture on one of my previous posts) to represent the two embryo's we had transferred. Sadly they weren't on the christmas tree waiting for a baby or two to arrive. But they're memories all the same. x

vic77 profile image
vic77

this is just awful...I am so so sorry. your precious baby is always with you though although I know this is heartbreaking..sending oodles of love xxxx

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