2nd cycle about to begin.

[Birdboy1]

I am about to start my second cycle of icsi. After 3 years of trying and knowing my partner had fertility issues I also discovered I had stage 3 endometriosis last year. Our first round of icsi was unsuccessful as I only managed 2 eggs and neither fertilised.

Our consultant has informed me my chances are very slim as my eggs have been so damaged.

So I this is my last chance, if this is unsuccessful then we will look into other options.

How do you get your head round the fact that you may never be a mother?

I know egg donation is great for so many people but I can’t get it out of my mind that it won’t be MY baby. Not that that may even be successful.

Is there anyone who has been through something similar or have any tips with processing this information?? Xx

[louisear]

my heart goes out to you. I'm in a similar situation. I'm 41 and have been told my 3 miscarriages are likely down to egg quality even though my first happened age 33 and no tests in this regard were carried out. We've considered egg donation, embryo donation and adoption but decided neither of these options are right for us. I can't say I've come to terms with the fact I'll never be a mother, I don't think anyone ever can, not when the one thing you've wanted for so long is not going to be part of your life. But I've realised you can still live a fulfilled life, just not the one you had planned and I'm filling my life with other things and trying to stay positive (am leaving a job I hate in February and opening my own business). Good luck with whatever you decide. It's not easy I know but you will find a way xx

[Birdboy1 in reply to louisear]

Thanks so much for the response louisear, it was the first time I posted this morning and I had to pluck up the courage!

It’s nice to hear that that the options available aren’t right for everyone. It’s was making me feel like a bad person for feeling the way I did about egg donation and adoption. But it’s still all pretty raw and still coming to terms with things.

Wishing you loads of success for your new business venture it’s sounds amazing and great that you have taken the plunge 😀

[louisear in reply to Birdboy1]

you're welcome and you are certainly not a bad person for feeling the way you do. Adoption is an amazing thing to do and egg donation is equally an exciting option for some people, just not for everyone. I couldn't get over the thought that it wouldn't be my biological child and you can't help the way you feel. Thx for the good wishes on the business venture. It's sink or swim but if you don't try you'll never know. Hope your second cycle goes well and you get your dream in 2018 xx

[Crazymrsrees79]

Hiya, I’m sort of in the same boat with amh levels being only 3 and hubbys swimmers not great. Should be starting 2nd round of icsi next week and we’ve been told it’s only a 5% chance of it working 😢. This will be our last go because we haven’t the funds for going private. We’ve also talked about adoption (my cousin has done this and she wouldn’t look back now) donor eggs and sperm isn’t an option because of the same feelings as yourselfs. It’s just so hard to get my head around us not being parents if it comes to it. We just have to wait and see. I wish you all the best for the future and baby dust to you all x

[Tashaperry in reply to Crazymrsrees79]

Hi we are starting icsi soon have appointment tomorrow for our initial consultation hoping my scans all okay too do they tell you your chances of it working too then this is my first time my Husband has been told his SA (Semen Analysis) shape of heads are all wrong so will find out tomorrow wot this means for us xxx

[Birdboy1 in reply to Tashaperry]

Hi, this is only my second time so I’m not an expert at all. The first cycle I found was a massive learning curve and by the end of it , it all makes more sense however it doesn’t seem helpful at the time.

From what I found was the first consultation was more around when to start the drugs, how long the whole process will last. Not until my second scan did I find out how many cells/ eggs I had.

I only found out more information at our consultation after egg collection and an unfertilised result.

Everyone is so different so until you’ve been through the whole cycle they won’t be able to give you that level of information

It’s all so complicated.

I’m sure there’s people on here who can explain it better than me. I’m still learning.

Good luck with your appointment and good luck with your first cycle xx

[Birdboy1]

Thank you for that.

I start again in 2 weeks on dhea and extra injections as well this time.

Good luck with your too, sounds like we have really similar issues. Makes you realise you not alone xxx