Disappointed

[AmyA19]

Hi Ladies,

This is our first IVF and it has been so positive so far with 17 follicles of which 13 fertilised. On day 3 we were told 2 were good, 2 average and 9 were irregular/fragmented - warning bells started to sound then but I tried to remain positive as they wanted to go to day 5. Yesterday 2 got to blastocyst stage (0-1 and 2-3 grade I believe, I need to check) so because we had none to freeze they suggested putting both in which we went for. They assured me that pregnancies can still occur from these grades but I just feel so overwhelmingly sad and disappointed and can't get out of it. We have 1 fresh cycle and 2 fets on the NHS so this is literally our only shot. I have all my eggs in one basket.

We had 'unexplained infertility' but now I feel it's due to my poor egg quality (husbands sample was and has been good) so I feel it's my fault but I know I have done everything I can to give this cycle my best shot

. I know I should be feeling grateful we have 2 in there but I just can't shake off this feeling that it won't work. I've been in tears all night and don't know what to do. I'm sorry if this sounds negative but I don't know who else to tell that 'gets it'. Any pearls of wisdom or words to shake me out of this would be very gratefully received.

[Gueritarubia]

Fingers crossed one or two of these will stick! If you're in any way like me, you probably want to understand what you're left with option wise if sadly this wouldn't work out.

So here's a question: if this would not work, could you consider paying for one more cycle yourself?

I don't think we can do much more than hope your blasts are little fighters and make it. But know this: The first cycle they learn about your body, which makes the second cycle that much more effective.

First round I had 8 eggs but all of the 5 fertilised ones had fragmentation and none got good enough to be put back. They changed the drugs second cycle and I had a whoppingly improved result: more eggs, more mature eggs, more fertilised, none fragmented, and 8 top notch blastocysts the first of which has made me pregnant and the other seven are safely frozen for potential future use. Have a look at my old posts.

But, let's hope you never have to go there and that your miracle is wrapped in these two you have in you now! Take it easy and fingers crossed!

[AmyA19 in reply to Gueritarubia]

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I think we would pay for another cycle and if we could get results like yours then definitely. Congratulations! Your experience has definitely made me feel better. Thank you so much! Xx

[Linda78]

Honestly it really does only take 1! From our round we only had 6 eggs, 4 fertilised and by day 5 only 1 2bb remained as the other 3 'perished'...now 15 weeks pregnant with the 2bb and miraculously all is going well so far! It really does only take 1...or in your case maybe 2! Try to stay as positive as possible with a healthy dose of realism - I found a hypnotherapy cd calls Helen McPherson 'believe' really helpful to get through the 2ww wait! Wishing you all the best xxx

[AmyA19 in reply to Linda78]

Thank you for your response and congratulations! I think I've overdosed on the realism and need to put all this back into perspective and knowing it worked for you makes me feel heaps better. Thanks for the cd recommendation too I'll look into it xxx

[emmab178]

The clinic is right it can happen from this kind of quality embies and you've got both back in the best place they need to be to thrive. And you have two so doubled your chances!

Go out and do something fun today and get laughing and smiling. You've been framed was the only thing that got me belly laughing in 2ww!

You are in with a chance, two chances! Eat some pineapple core and try to get out of the funk that it's so easily to fall into x

[AmyA19 in reply to emmab178]

Thank you. I do need to remember that the clinic are the experts and they wouldn't have put them in if they didn't think it was worth a shot. Great advice thanks again xxx

[emu2016]

just remember the next two weeks is for making a comfy home for those embryos. No amount of worrying now will help them. Keep your spirits high and worry if you need to xx

[AmyA19 in reply to emu2016]

Thank you. Very good advice. I need to change my mindset. Xxx