Disappointed in our Clinic

Hi... We had a failed fet cycle in December and was devastated!!

We didn't qualify for NHS funding so put all of our savings into a "1 and only shot" attempt at IVF.

3 months later, we have only just found the courage to attend our follow up consultation to discuss what could have went wrong and didn't really get any answers!!

We had a Grade 1,Class A embryo which failed to implant and that's all the information they gave us.

Something was niggling me about my Fallopian tubes and asked them to confirm if they saw any issues with them when I had the million and one tests before my ec!!!

They said they didn't know... As they didn't do any test regarding my tubes!!!

Am I being stupid???

Or is that not the first thing any reputable company would check for as if they were blocked then that could be the reason for my infertility!!

We have booked a Tubal Patencey Test with another clinic to see if there are any issues!!

I'm so angry ☹️

26 Replies

  • Hi,

    So sorry that you had a failed cycle in December, I have had a few myself. Sometimes with ivf it's just luck that it works, also for any ladies under 35 you have around a 33% change of success. I was third time lucky, but my friend was successful on her first attempt.

    With regards to your tubes. When I had my first consultation with the specialist one of the first things he done was give me an internal scan, from this He could see I had blocked tubes and a lap was needed for further investigation. However, this is not always the case and sometimes blocked tubes is not obvious from the scan.

    Good luck with the other clinic, all the best.


  • Hi J... Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to let me know your thoughts.

    I just assumed that testing for blocked tubes would be their first step and I'm now blaming myself for not raising the issue beforehand.

    I was so sure our IVF cycle was going to be successful, as the whole process went really well with no issues. And now I just feel like a failure and that I've let my husband down 😢 But what can I do... God is in control 🙏

    Congratulations on your 3rd IVF success 🎉🎉 Are you pregnant now or do you already have your beautiful baby??

    You are truly blessed 💞

  • Hi Mailei,

    Sorry for the late reply.

    Please please don't blame yourself and you are certainly not a failure or let your husband down!!. IVF is such a roller coaster that we have virtually no control over. Not many people have success on their first attempt. Everything crossed for success on your next attempt xx

    When I started down the IVF route, I definitely wouldn't have thought to ask to check my tubes, so don't beat yourself up!. I had tried for many years positively thinking that I would fall pregnant 1 day :-) (I am such an optimism sometimes ) That naturally my womb and tubes would be checked, all other tests came back fine, apart form my AMH ( I am a bit older). I had all my tests done by my GP and IVF including ops ( apart from a hyperscopy ) and other investigations including scans done privately.

    I am so lucky I know. I am 25 weeks pregnant, and look 35 weeks lol, but enjoying every minute.

    Sending you a huge virtual hug!


  • Hi J...

    I just feel your positivity oozing thru my phone haha. And it really is what I need right now so thank you again.

    I went for my HyCoSy this morning and my tubes are fine.

    I'm happy with the outcome but I think I was secretly hoping there was an issue so I had a reason for our struggles!!

    Congratulations on your pregnancy... And your eating for 2 so you have a good excuse. Not long now... I bet you can't wait 💞

    Mai x

  • Hi there, I have both fallopian tubes blocked, but also Hyperprolactinaemia and no thyroid. Do you think I will also have to go through laparoscopy? thanks a lot :) 

  • Hi MaiLee,

    I have unexplained infertility and my clinic advised they dont check tubes as your tubes are irrelevant in the IVF process. They did arrange for me to have a hycosy test on the NHS and that involved a dye being flushed through my tubes. It turned out my left tube was completely blocked and they managed to clear it.

    I was hoping that might have been the cause of not getting pregnant, 10 months later im now mid cycle on my first IVF try.

    Its worth getting them checked if you have no other known issues.

    Best of luck xx

  • Hi LBM1979...

    Thank you for your reply also, I really do appreciate it.

    The HyCoSy is what I'm going for tomorrow. We have been told that you can get the procedure on the NHS but we think the wait for an appointment is bound to take forever and I just need to know... It's costing us £450 😁😁

    I've just been reading online that it's quite painful and you shouldn't attend by yourself!!!

    I'm a bit apprehensive now.

    What was your experience of the HYCoSy?? Did it hurt??

    Good luck with your IVF cycle. Praying you have success 🙏🙏

    MaiLee x

  • Unfortunately there is so much the medical profession don't know about infertility and reasons for IVF cycles not working. It's frustrating and we've not been given definate answers for our 3 privately funded cycles not working.

    Try to be kind to yourselves.

  • Hi pm27...

    It's so stressful when you don't get the answers your looking for.

    I'm so sorry about your 3 cycles not working 😔 Are you going to try again??

    We don't qualify for nhs funding and we've only tried 1 cycle ourselves and aren't sure if we can afford to do it again. We have a lot of number crunching to do over the next few weeks

    Mai x

  • Hi, I went through a laparoscopy under anaesthetic to check tubes, because the dye test suggested or side ''may' be blocked but in the end they weren't blocked but they found other endo which was upsetting. However I couldn't get the lap on the NHS as it was a choice between a lap or IVF and they said IVF was the more likely to success (as mentioned it bypasses the tubes). So I did that separately. I feel like I've put my body through so much and have only come out with a bit more knowledge of that various bits of me that aren't working well, and also could make me really ill/in pain in the future. Part of me wishes I hadn't pushed for the lap as I'm not sure I've gained much and the op itself is invasive. So definitely don't beat yourself up- there's no right way to navigate all this! Xxx

  • Hi Cmat...

    Don't stress too much. It's amazing how many people are going through the same thing!!! You feel like you're the only one until you go into these forums.

    I had my HyCoSy on Wednesday and all is well with my right tube (I had to have my left tube removed a year ago along with my left ovary as I had a 10cm cyst on it 😁😁) Are u currently going through IVF now???

  • Sorry for delay, no my IVF failed in Feb so going for review appointment in May xx

  • I am sorry to hear it failed, let's hope you will be lucky in May xxx

  • Hi Cmat, Why did they make you choose between lap and IVF? Could you have said no to lap and have IVF? 

  • Hi, yes that's what I did, the IVF on NHS and then went private for the lap. Sorry for confusion! Not sure if it was because of funding or my age but they said I needed to choose between the two. When I said 'what if I do the lap privately' the consultant  said fine but don't tell us about it, as if it might delay the IVF or get in way of it being funded. Bonkers!

  • They might tell me the same thing, what do you advise, shall I go for the lap? Will it change anything? My doctor told me that the tubes are completely blocked and no liquid was able to inserted in the tubes during the hsg

  • Hi, your situation sounds very different to mine and maybe a lap will be more fruitful that it was for me if they can clear the tubes but I can't recommend one way or the other as it's all so individual. Just don't be scared to ask them lots of questions,  get them to talk through all the different scenarios that concern you and go with what feels right. Very best of luck xxx

  • Hi, MaiLei, I'm terribly sorry for that. I've experienced the similar unpleasant thing myself once.

    My husband and I have been trying for a year and finally decided to go see a specialist in infertility. I was so frustrated with the doctors that time because I keep expecting them to be caring and understanding. Instead in the first clinic they were pushing ICSI, IUI, IVF… - everything for us when the other doc had just studied our medical history and recommended DE IVF for us supporting everything with pure facts.

    I have been fully checked out and was told I had these and those problems.

    I just wish we all could work with more sensitive groups.

    Sometimes, I feel like people from our first clinic were trying to scare us into moving more quickly and spending more money :-(

    We are going to do our first round of DE IVF in Biotexcom in March if everything’s OK.

    I have a sister and friends who blink and they are pregnant.

    We have 5 attempts for getting pregnant. I wish this was easy but I know that when (if) it happens I will be so grateful to God for the gift (hopefully gifts).

    Wish the things go better for you with your next clinic. Strong hugs, dear xxx

  • Hi Mel77...

    I wish you all the best with your 5 cycle. I'm praying you will be successful and get your bundles of joy at the end of it 🙏🙏 Stay positive throughout the process as it can be a little stressful at times. The 2WW were the longest 2 weeks of my life but I'd booked the time off work so I think I was just bored!!! And hubby wouldn't let me lift a finger 😁

    I know what you mean about people around you falling pregnant at the drop of a hat. My niece just had a baby... And although I love him to bits it's quite hard to be around them at this time in my life 💔

    But life goes on xx

    Mai xx

  • Hi, lovelies!

    It seems to me that specialists know they can get away with being jerks because we are still going to come back if we need them. It's so frustrating.

    At the beginning of our journey I had endometriosis and my husband had a low count and low motility. We went to see the only urologist specializing in infertility in our area. And he was SO hard on my husband about how "bad" his sperm was.

    I could just see my husband's spirit being crushed. It's horrible.

    And yes, people cough and get pregnant while we're over here doing crazy things we never thought we would. It's so hard trusting the fertility world at the stages when you feel they are just trying to make a buck.


  • Hi Karinyaa...

    It's really difficult to find a good clinic. There are sooooo many. We live in the Midlands and ended up going to a clinic in London.

    I hope you husband isn't too deflated. I think we deal with our fertility issues much better than the men (like we deal with everything else better really lol)

    I hope your IVF journey is successful. When do you start it ??

    Mai xx

  • Then that doctor deserves a formal complaint written no one suffering any health issues should be made to feel bad or worse about the situation x

  • Hi, dear MaiLei! In the lifetime I should say men aren't so strong as they are thought to be, really :) My DH is so so sensitive, poor thing he is. I know he blames himself as well, but still think that the greatest amount of the case is due to a woman, not man. These are we, taking drugs, injections, numerous scans, private cryings, carrying babies, being sick, feeling mood swings - whatever! And from the man's side it's just a little sperm needed for the procedure :) I'm kidding, dear. You might think I'm a heartless thing not caring about the half...lol

    On one of the sites I've read the post in which a woman was complaining on her husband he didn't want to pass IUI, as it was AWKWARD for him! Do you believe this?? His wife is suffering much, it's felt with her every other word, and he behaves like this... I'm so disappointed halves could be like that men, not supportive, not understanding.. In such moment I value my dear even more than before...

    Dear lovely MaiLei, we've already completed our treatment. It was performed in Ukraine, Biotexcom clinic. Thanks to this land we're happy parents now. Holly..Xx I feel like my baby has nothing to do with donor eggs - like he's absolutely mine, my sweet..Xx

    (This was the 3rd attempt, transferred 2 embryos each time, previous rounds - 1st failed, 2nd - early miscarriage #cry hard#).

    We must hope and believe whatever happens to us, how low we feel sometimes, we must be strong and confident, honey. Only this way brings success. Sending thousands of positive vibes to you and the strongest hugs for you to know you aren't alone with it XXX

  • Oh WOW... Congratulation on having your bundle of joy 🎉🎉 Your son was worth ever blood test, scan, injection and tear 😍 And he is ALL you Hunni... You gave him life, you nurtured him, gave birth to him and loved him. 

    I pray we are blessed with your happiness xx

  • oh God its disgusting behavior.  we trust doctors and they cant even do their job properly. If its ok to ask how much did you pay?

    I know that you can go abroad for IVF and have unlimited number of attempts..

    And i cant believe they didn't check your tubes first of all. I been through this procedure. If be honestly its very painful procedure.. I had it when i was young. In the end i find out that my tubes are clear but very long and wavy which make hard for sperm to go through. I dont know may now its all different 

    I really hope all your results will be good and your next try will be successful xxx

  • We had to basically beg to have the hsg ( tube check) done on nhs. We did this at our very first appointment. 

    As it turned out I am still none the wiser really as my consultant said they were clear but the nxt time I went back a different consultant told me 1 tube is blocked !  Anyway , best you get it checked for peace of mind Hun . Good luck x

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