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Fertility Network UK
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Hard Decision

Hey Everyone,

Just an update really - AF has arrived today in full force after being 2 weeks late.

We thought trying IUI first would give us a good chance of conceiving, but I feel selfish for saying this but I can't go on with anymore IUI cycles. I'm starting to lose all hope on this journey - 1 failed IUI and 1 abandoned IUI. I don't feel positive. I think with the mixture of hormones and IUI treatment I'm exhausted and depressed. :(

We have made the decision to take some time out. I 'm going to ask to be referred for IVF. I know the waiting list is longer and will prolong our wait, but I think continuing will add more pressure on to our relationship.

We got engaged last month and we've not really celebrated. I feel like we should be happy celebrating but we are constantly worrying and thinking about TTC.

My OH has been so supportive and I love him so much but I have been a horrible person to live with - I don't know why he has been putting up with me.

Has anyone else made a similar decision?


5 Replies

Personally I think it's important to know when to take time out from it all. Sometimes we've just got to look and celebrate at what we do have. We are taking some time out after our BFN last month and just enjoying a bit of normality. I know we will get back to it but it feels like we have pressed pause on so much of our lives already xxx

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I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. it's not a great feeling. I think the time out will help us both get back to normal. I just don't want to be selfish. xx


Sending love. I suppose I had a similar yet different decision to make at our last app. The Consultant wanted us to get put on waiting list for IVF but we pushed to try IUI first. It was such a difficult decision and it really broke my heart saying no to the waiting list for IVF. I just felt like I was delaying everything in the hope IUI would maybe work even though the success rates arent great. I totally feel the exhaustion and low mood too. Its such a difficult journey and it can be so overwhelmingly heart breaking. All I know is I had a peace about the decision we made. Logically it doesnt seem right on the advice of the Consultant but in my gut it does. And thats all I personally have to go on. I think you have to go with what you feel is right for you and your OH at this time and if that means taking time out for a while then that is okay. It might do you the world of good. Celebrate your engagement and do some fun things. I have no doubt your OH loves you as much as you clearly love him and thats why no matter how crazy we are (I am too!) they stick around. My OH reminded me the other day that not only is he finding all this difficult but the hardest part is watching me, knowing my heart is breaking. And thats why they stick around because he knows this is not 'you' but the consequences of deep ache.

You know what is right for you and only you can decide your next step but if it helps I think by the sounds of things and from one person to another on the 'same' journey that some time to just enjoy life and enjoy each other again might be helpful. Find the things again you used to love doing and find the enjoyment in that. Get yourself dressed up and go on a proper date night with your OH and get celebrating ❤❤xxx

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Thank you for your kind words. We do need time be happy and celebrate what we have. It's time to start planning the wedding xx

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Yes get planning :)) Have fun and enjoy it xx

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