Very sad

Hi ladies, thought I'd join and write on here as very sad and needed support. I've been going through surrogacy for my sis, we did a 5dt on the 6th and I tested positive with a hpt on the 22nd had pregnancy symptoms of tiredness and feeling sick but had been having brown spotting and a little red blood when I wiped. Was assured by the clinic this was normal. On the 25th I woke up and when I got out of bed instantly started loosing loads of blood, it continued all morning and I passed 2 palm sized clots, it was devistating and even harder to ring my sister and tell her. It was our first round of icsi but feel like it's a precious round wasted. Keep going over and over it all in my mind. Feel so sad. Now have to test again on tues to confirm a neg result not sure where we go from there? 😢😢

20 Replies

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  • So sorry to read this but I just want to say what an amazing and lovely thing it is that you're trying to do for your sister! She's very lucky to have you whatever happens xx

  • So sad for both of you but wow what an amazing sister you are, I am sure you will support each other through this xx

  • So sorry 😓 But what an amazing thing you are doing for your sister . Such a selfless act of kindness xx

  • Thank you for you're replys, I have this dream of given them the family they have longed for for 8 long years. I have only had a tiny taste of the long & difficult road of infertility and I admire all the women that go through it. Im wearily hopeful for the next round. We will have to have a talk with the clinic to see what happens now 😢

  • Sorry to hear about what has happened to you... negatives are my nightmares too. I've been through so many that I cannot even tell if I am even able to feel the whole spectrum of sadness and devastation. this is my 7th time trying and I think that this is going to be the last ivf attempt of ours ever. if we decide to continue on it would be either adoption or surrogacy.

    I hope that you get another chance. Although my words may sound a bit out of place cause I do not really know your story and it makes everything difficult, especially to "judge" the situation...

    Fingers crossed! Wishing you the best of luck!


  • You are incredible for what you are doing for your sister. There are so many of us on here that didn't get any success the first time. Keep your heart open and fingers crossed. Sending love and prayers xx

  • What a wonderful thing you are doing. I'm sure your sister is very grateful xx

  • Aw Lou I understand as this has just happened to me, you sound like an amazing person to do this for your sister and I'm sure you'll both be devastated but it's not your fault and she'll be forever grateful that you tried. I really hope you get there in the end xxx

  • So sorry this has happened.i can only second what everyone else has said! What an amazing thing you are doing for your sister.this is not your fault and I really hope you have another chance xxx

  • Hi lou so sorry for your loss and heart ache I'm sure it's been a long journey for you and your sister to get to this stage and a miscarriage is just deversating for you all. It's only natural go over what's happened again and again and try and make sense of everything this is how we are wired to think because we want to try and fix the situation. Take care of yourself my dear and what a lovely person you are being a surrogate for your sister xxx

  • So sad to hear this news for your sister and you. What an amazing selfless act you are doing for your sister.. xx

  • Thank you so much, and I'm sorry for those of you who are also going through difficulties with fertility. It never is an easy journey. I've had another positive test today so will have to phone GP tomorrow, to make sure everything has been dispelled from my body 😢 X

  • I had a missed miscarriage at my 8 week scan and had surgery to remove our baby. I still got positive tests for about a week afterwards, just so you're aware it can take a little time.. xx

  • I had 2 miscarriage out of which 1 was ectopic. For which it took almost 2 months to get a negative. And when we always pray to see those positive lines . I prayed to see d negative lines as u couldn't bare no more that there was no pregnancy but still d hormones were playing about 😰

  • Just a little update, I was sent to the EPU today via my GP. They did a scan and saw what looks to be an empty sack. They took a swab for infection and bloods which I need to have repeated on Sunday. If the HGC levels drop as we are expecting then may need med's or D&C to clear my womb. I really just want this to be over now, it never seems straight forward!!

  • So it's been 12 days since I m/c. The fertility clinic would not let me stop the pregnancy med's without confirmation that the pregnancy was gone, since I kept getting positive tests I ended up having HGC levels checked at EPU and they confirmed today that they are going down. I don't even feel sad anymore just frustrated at how long everything takes to go back to "normal". We have a follow up apt at the fertility clinic booked for mon so will find out the next steps. Praying that the next round ends up in a happier outcome.

  • Lots of luck Lou xx

  • Thank you Hun x

  • I know dear it's really makes u numb after a point . With my ectopic this was exactly what I was made to go through. They kept monitoring me for 3 weeks then surgery and even after surgery I was praying to see a negative pregnancy after 3 weeks. I just hope and pray u get over this sooner and can move on . ❤️

  • Best of luck xx

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