Feeling sad: So we are just waiting to... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK
23,947 members36,016 posts

Feeling sad


So we are just waiting to start our IVF journey. We have been trying to conceive for 4 years and like all of you, we have been through that many ups and downs you feel prepared for it. Tonight out of nowhere I feel incredibly sad that we are in this position and can't help but question why us. I have no idea where this has come from, especially when just a few days ago I was feeling positive about finally being ready to start the IVF. Has anybody else felt like this so late in the day?

17 Replies

Hey there

I quite often question why it had to happen to us. We have quite a lot of stress in our relationship and this fertility chapter is just piling on more. You sometimes wonder when it is your turn to get a break and for things to just 'work' for you.

But then we all pick ourselves up, screw on our logical heads and realise it is one of those things. We will all be so much stronger the other side and hopefully it will all work out for us all.

Lots of luck for your cycle and try to keep positive! 🤞🏼 Xx

in reply to Kloulou83

It's so strange the thoughts and feelings you go through isn't it. I've always tried to count my blessings before but its just hit me out the blue tonight. You're right, it passes. We are lucky really we are in a position to start IVF. Thank you for your response. Wishing you lots of luck too xxx

in reply to LauraGU

We need to think how lucky we are that we are starting our chances to have a family.

Feel free to message if you ever want to chat. Xxxx

I don't know if it helps but me and dh have been ttc 4.5yrs and are finally starting down regging for the 1st time tomorrow. I go (almost every half hour) from feeling happy and determined now I've got this far, to feeling like I can't be bothered and I'd be happy to walk away now (which I know I won't!) I think the enormity of what we're facing affects us in different ways. My dh unfortunately is infertile which is why we're here but it's never been an issue (at the end of the day we're in this together) but just since my drugs were delivered I've felt so angry towards him for "making" me go through this. I manage not to say anything as I feel so guilty for even thinking it...but im worried what I'll be like when I start taking the drugs tomorrow!

I suppose what I'm saying is, all these feelings are normal. We just have to get through each day or each hour as it comes.


in reply to Oakey80

The guilt is immense isn't it. We have known for a while now that I have endo but then my husbands results came back not great. The pressure it places on you and not wanting to let each other down is unreal. Wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow xxx

Hi LauraGU, the reality is that it is quite sad that anyone needs to do this. However, you have waited so long and it's also so exciting to start a cycle and know that at the end of it you going to have a much bigger chance and how positive and amazing will that be!

I just remember all the times, I had unanswered questions and waiting for investigations. At least you there now, the hard part is over and even if it's not what you expect you so much closer to achieving your goal!

Good luck. Keep up the fluids, it goes by really quickly! I promise. 🍀

in reply to Beebeestar

Thank you. I love this site you know. Infertility is such a lonely thing, you feel like it's just you but this page has been amazing xxx

in reply to LauraGU

It really has... I felt so alone previously as I've never known anyone going through it and reading some of the posts, it's as if I could have written it.

Enjoy the journey ahead... you learn a lot about your fertility through the process!!

Look after you! 🍀

Oh yes all the time welcome to the roller coaster that is ivf😊I cried at every appointment the first time now feel much more positive this time around and was at a support group the other week and felt so optimistic that I was able to support another woman there who felt less so then yesterday bam sad and upset. I am reminded again by that how this goes. I think you just need to roll with it almost and accept you will have good days and bad days and try not to beat yourself up. After a bad day a good one will soon follow. Be very kind to yourself as that always helps. If I wanted to eat cake I did. If I saw a nice thing in the shops (within reason) I bought it. I did lots of nice walks with my dog and did wee things round the house I had been meaning to do for ages. Try to remind yourself like folk say we are lucky to have got to stage where we can have treatment and if you can try to relax as much as possible through treatment. You are here where every lady and man on here is so so brave and willing to support and give advice through highs and lows..take lots of care and hug your partner loads xxxxx

in reply to vic77

That isn't such lovely, good advice. Thank you 😘 Xxx

My pleasure. .keep in touch..we all here every step of the way..off to hug my husband again after he just did my first injections again 😍😍😍xx

I think it's only natural to occasionally go thru this thought process.probably more so that u r now about to embark on the IVF journey! It's a big deal!!

Wishing u all the luck in the world xxx

This journey is extremely difficult and emotional. I experienced ups and downs and constantly questioned why us. Sometimes the emotions would come out of no where! Try to stay positive and focus on the outcome. Don't ever give up hope, but also be prepared for the mixed emotions that come with IVF. Good luck xx


I have endo aswell and had a tube and ovary removed as the endo had encompassed it. I felt so broken, furious and helpless that it's all come down to ivf. Initially the nhs said my husbands results were fine and at the clinic they retested and they were not good. He took that badly but now at least we are both a bit broken so can support each other!

I'm fully on the rollercoaster of emotions and it can change from one extreme to another very quickly.

Be assured many people go through fertility issues, miscarriages etc it's just that no one talks about it as it's taboo. Im keeping everything to myself as I feel quite ashamed it's come to this. On the other hand I'm excited because this is an opportunity to have our own child.

On the first down Reg injection my emotions were up and down like a yoyo, think I was even shaking x good luck

At the back of my mind I always thought it would eventually happen 'naturally' for us so when it finally came down to ICSI IVF it was very depressing to have to confront our crappy reality. However, it worked and we now have our family (twin girls). It's ok to feel sad, IVF is a double edged sword- it's fantastic that the science exists but it's also rubbish that the science has to exist and you need to use it. Good luck for your cycle xxx

I think it is very normal to be emotional with all of this.

If you were not emotional or a bit scared then that would be something to worry about.

It's overwhelming all these things we go thru

Our brain can only take in so much after that the second hand emotions take over

Hi, I have been through exactly this last week. I was on cloud 9 after our recent clinic appointment and being told we can start ivf treatment, and then a few days later I started crying out of nowhere when someone asked how I was. Now I'm back to feeling more positive again. I too always secretly hoped we'd be one of those couples who fall pregnant waiting for ivf, and was disappointed when that didn't happen. It's extremely frustrating that we have to rely on science now but I agree with others that at least we have this option available to us and that's what I keep focusing on. This forum is absolutely fantastic and from reading other people's accounts, I take a lot of comfort in knowing that I could come here looking for support whenever I should need it in the coming months.

Wish you lots of luck in your journey and hope we all get the outcome we are dreaming of xxx

You may also like...