Fertility Network UK
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Feeling trapped

I have had a bad weekend struggling to deal with my emotions. I can distract myself at times, but as soon as I have free time to myself I just feel so hopeless and trapped in a life that feels so incomplete without a child. Have just had a message from a friend I am meeting for dinner tonight telling me she is pregnant, (the second pregnancy text of the weekend) and I still have to face going out for a meal. Any support or advice is appreciated, I feel so lonely and trapped at the moment, and just want this all to be over.

6 Replies

Not much help I'm afraid, but don't feel alone. 2 pregnancy texts in one weekend is an awful lot to deal with. I think most of us on this forum would feel a little ruffled after that.

Does your friend know your situation? & do you have a partner going with you? Could you talk to them beforehand saying how you feel? x


She already knows and I think was trying to do the best thing rather than tell me face to face tonight, but I think more than a two hours heads up would have been helpful! I know it must be hard for them on the other side of the table too but just feels so painful. Just girls tonight and husband has been on nights for two weeks so that's probably not helping. Thank you for your support x


I expect that's why she left it so late. She maybe felt awkward telling you because she didn't want to upset you? I know it's really hard, but I wold try to think 'it's only a couple of hours & tomorrow is another day' x

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At least you didn't have to hear her tell you face to face. I hope the evening went ok and she didn't go on and on about it during the meal xx


Pregnancy announcements are always difficult no matter how the news is delivered, especially 2 announcements in one weekend. I agree 2 hours isn't much notice but at least you know rather than have a surprise face to face announcement and have to look pleased for her. A very close friend told me over the phone she was pregnant less than 2 weeks after our first BFN. I cried my eyes out, we were due to go shopping & have lunch a few days later. We were able to talk about it, she so wanted our treatment to work & I know how much she wanted a child too. I found her pregnancy hard, we had another BFN before her baby was born. I had to make myself ask how she was doing and going baby stuff shopping with her was very hard but as one if my longest standing friends I had to put aside my feelings at times for her sake.

No doubt it won't be easy tonight but try to enjoy dinner. It might not be as bad as you fear.


Your feelings are perfectly normal and I totally sympathise. 2 weeks ago I had 3 babies born within 6 days of each other and a pregnancy announcement. Devastated isn't the word. One is my SIL so difficult to get away fron. In fact, as we speak she's sent her daily baby update via messenger. I've just been added to the group recently and wishing I hadn't been! Feel like it's slightly insensitive given what we're going through...However, she has every right to be excited and it is natural she'd want to share updates with her family so I'm trying not be a cow about it.

As hard as it is to hear about all these pregnancies, I'm trying to remember that it's not their fault that we are in this situation, but it's hard not to be bitter...I'm off to my IUI appointment today!

I hope you feel better soon. It's so hard and nobody gets it unless they are going through it. Chin up x


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