New to this forum and our first round failed

[JaninePlunkett80]

I'm new to this forum and having been searching a number of sites to help process what we're going through. A week ago we found out our first round of IVF was unsuccessful. It's been a hard week and feeling a bit lost. We were lucky to have this round via the NHS, but I feel the support post our result has really been lacking. I was just left a message to say a letter will be sent for a follow up appointment, that's not likely to be for another 3 to 4 months. I thought they might want to do some blood tests or something to see why it may have failed. Is it possible for them to pinpoint why it failed? How do you deal with the failure to move onto the next round?

[beauty1984]

I'm really sorry to hear your cycle failed, it's such a difficult thing to deal with. My first cycle failed last year and I had to wait 2 months for a follow up appointment. There was no tests or anything to try and pinpoint what happened which in itself was difficult as I'd like to change things the next time round. What was offered to me on my next cycle (which wasn't offered with my funded cycle) was embryo glue so I'm hoping that next time I'll have a better chance. Try not to give up hope, I know it's only been a week and its still so raw but try and support each other, the hospital normally offers a service where you can go talk about what you've been through so maybe consider that if you're finding it difficult. Also if you find your appointment is too far away then keep phoning to see if there are any cancellations, you might be seen sooner. I gave myself a few days to deal with the failure and then concentrated on getting ready for my appointment and any questions I wanted to ask and to prepare for my next cycle and what I could do differently the next time. I really hope everything works out for you, stay strong x

[JaninePlunkett80 in reply to beauty1984]

Thanks for your reply, I think it's the not knowing why it didn't work and you start to question everything you did. I will definitely keep on the case for our follow up appointment and I'm trying to focus on getting myself strong for the next round. It all feels quite surreal at times. x

[cazzieb75 in reply to JaninePlunkett80]

Sorry to hear your story so far. I also had a failed IVF and appt was given for 4 months as follow up. I am not entitled to another round on NHS due to age, however we are going private for another. However, if you are trying to do something positive in the meantime, I have am in the middle of a course of acupuncture specifically for fertility strength and I feel like a different person. My periods are a lot more healthy, I have lost weight (no diet), and my chinese doctor thinks we might conceive naturally. (My infertility was unexplained, but doc thinks he knows what the problem was - unlike the western docs who just gave me aggressive drugs and didnt really talk to us!! Anyway, I'd recommend....

[JaninePlunkett80 in reply to cazzieb75]

Thanks for the acupuncture advice, I actually be thinking of trying some alternative therapies to help with my stress/anxiety and to help boost me so will definitely consider this. It's great to be chatting and hearing about people that have gone through/are going the through the same thing, so thank you x

[Beanme]

Im sorry to hear this happened to you, its a very difficult journey both physically and emotionally. I cant advise on follow up test unfortunately as I dont know but Im sure some of the other members might be able to offer some advice. I hope your next try is more successful for you xxx ps. Be good to yourself and your partner, get out and try and have some fun.

[ch319]

Hey. We felt the same way. Our follow up appointment really irritated us. So how did we cope. Well in a pretty extreme way. We put our house up for sale sold it and moved for a fresh start. Then we changed clinics and have started round 2 a year later. It is the hardest thing I recover from and don't feel like you have to rush yourself to move on. Big hugs x

[7AVA]

Hi Janine, we also found out that our first round of IVF on the NHS was unsuccessful about a week ago. I too feel the support post our result has been lacking - especially because until this point I could not fault the IVF team for their care. We were told we'd be sent a letter for follow up consultation within a month, which I know is a shorter timescale than yourselves it still too long. As our next treatment will need to be self funded, I have contacted a private provider and asked how we would go about moving forward with them. They have told us to get a copy of our medical notes before we book a consultation with them. We've been in touch with our local NHS medico-legal department and requested a copy of our notes. I think this will cost up to £50 each but it could save money on private testing in the long run. We're still no further forward at the moment but it has made me feel that I'm doing something. Good luck with your journey xxx

[JaninePlunkett80 in reply to 7AVA]

We're looking to self fund our next round and I've reached out to see how I can obtain my notes/results. It's good to know that there's likely to be an associated cost and I need to keep on top to try and obtain them. Whilst the NHS was great I did find at times that things were explained so quickly that we didn't always have the chance to digest things and ask questions. At least going into round 2 we know the process so can focus on asking the right questions. I'm like you I just want to feel like I'm doing something to move us forward, as there's still a long way to go. Good lucky with your journey too. It's nice to know others are in similar positions and there are ways forward xxx

[Tugsgirl]

We had some blood tests but they are not funded on the NHS (they weren't for us anyway) and as a general rule they aren't recommended after one failed round. The blood tests are called miscarriage and implantation failure tests and cost us £850 (at least they are at our clinic) and all came back as normal for me so other than that I don't think there's much else they can do for implantation failure anyway 😞 xx

Vicky

[Heelsandhunters84]

So sorry to hear this. I had my first cycle cancelled after 21 days of stimulation and then a failed first round despite the 'Perfect' blastocyst and womb lining. I was obviously very upset. However my coping mechanism was to get back to it and booked in for my fet in May. I just think that each journey is so personal to each person. A friend who has just completed a successful cycle after 2 failed attempts was insistent that I wait a few months for my body to recover and feel right mentally. She is a lovely friend BUT we are massively different people and my clinic said to wait one cycle which I have but I was fine to get going after that. I appreciate a fresh cycle may have been different but I wanted to reassess,do more research, get my endometrial scratch done, go for the glue and plough on! I am going to sound odd but I cried the day I found out, had about 4 glasses of wine with my husband and close friends that night and the next day I was on to the clinic being a demanding diva. It is a private clinic but we had our treatment abroad so there are limitations there. I then thrashed out some thoughts and ideas with my coordinator and concluded at this stage there was nothing to pinpoint it just that it doesn't work every time. Again it's your personal journey and do what you feel happy with. Sending lots of love. Xxx

[Tugsgirl in reply to Heelsandhunters84]

Ditto. We had a perfect blastocyst first round, it was even hatching out but failed to implant. X

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Are you entitled to any counselling? My husband and I had one session after our failed first round but we would have been entitled to up to three if we had wanted them.

[JaninePlunkett80 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

They've not said anything about counselling, it was offered when going through the treatment, but only in the written information, our consultants have never gone into more detail on this. I'm going to call this week and find out, as I think even one session will help us.

[Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to JaninePlunkett80]

Good plan. 💜

[Dreamingofbaby]

Sorry to hear this. It so hard. We too have just failed our first nhs Icsi and have heard nothing as yet😔. As said post support does appear a bit questionable esp as such a sad time. I’m hoping to have a frozen transfer but have heard nothing so far. Be nice to know. Best wishes xx

[My_Miracle_Is_Here]

So sorry to hear this. The consultants learn a lot from your first cycle on how your body reacted during the cycle. Sometimes they adjust medication for the next cycle, but not always. My body did exactly what it was supposed to, had a top quality blastocyst put back and still failed. Life is so fragile, and they simply do not know why it failed and never will. It’s so frustrating accepting the unexplained. Stay positive and take care of yourself xx