Failed IVF 1st Round, so down!

[P_willy]

Hi,

I'm new here! I don't really know why I'm writing, I know nothing anybody says is going to make me feel and better!

I tested yesterday and found out my first round of IVF had failed! Everything was so perfect all the way along, I had 16 eggs, 10 fertilised and 3 made it to blastocyst stage! I had one top grade embryo put back in, the doctor said 1 was best to put back in as I was a high risk of twins, so we took their advice... Now I have no pregnancy let alone twins!! I'm heartbroken and I don't know what to do!! Every time people tell me, 'it's just how it goes sometimes with no explanation!' It doesn't help at all! I really thought this was our time after ttc for 5 years... But clearly not!! I just hate seeing people have children who don't deserve them and yet people like me and my husband who can give a baby a loving home and family are unable to do so

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi P_willy. So sorry to hear that your 1st IVF has been unsuccessful. Nothing much to say, but to remember that when a cycle of treatment does fail, your consultant will have learnt a lot about how your body has reacted to drugs and treatment, so hopefully can “fine tune” your next cycle to suit you. You must tell yourself that the feelings you are experiencing are quite normal. There are always going to be pregnant women and babies around, we can’t alter that, so it’s important that you choose how and with whom you spend your time at the moment in order to minimise any distress and to look after yourself. Also remember that most people experiencing infertility do so as a couple and often feel very isolated, so apart from each other, it might be good to confide in one of your best friends or close relative perhaps. Have you thought about attending a support group? Unfortunately, there is not always one in your immediate area, but it can sometimes be beneficial to go to one outside your district in order to see how other hospitals/clinics treat their patients and how the patients themselves cope. Most only meet up once a month or two months, so if you feel you want to mix, it could be worth the journey. I do hope that you soon feel better – you will. Diane

[P_willy]

Thanks Diane,

I just feel so numb and no matter how much I talk about it I don't feel any better! I did think about counselling to help me deal with the fact I'll never have another baby! I just can't move on but finally think it's time to accept it but I think I need help in doing so.

Thank you for your reply, it means a lot x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi P_willy. Of course you feel rubbish at the moment, and only you know how you feel. I didn’t mention counselling before, but I do think it would be a good option to try. Speaking to someone who is neutral can sometimes be the best way forward. Do give it a go – I’m sure it will help. Diane

[hopeandfaith1985]

Hi hun, I know exactly how you feel. Me and my other half have just had our first round of ICSI and unfortunately it didn't work! I have a low AMH so they only managed to retrieve 4 eggs, none of which we could freeze. They managed to fertilise one egg and then they put it back in on day 2! I am due to start my next round at the end of September! We have been TTC for 4 years and sometimes it feels like we'll never get there... Here if you ever need a chat hun so feel free to PM me x

[P_willy in reply to hopeandfaith1985]

Mrsb2b, thank you for your response. I just can't stop thinking about it and every time I do, I burst into tears! My hubby keeps telling me to snap out of it and that it was never guaranteed to work! I appreciate that, I do, but let me grieve... I've effectively lost a baby and he doesn't seem to care he just keeps tutting and telling me that we need to sort out our finances before doing another round and telling me we'll have to put the kitchen on hold!!! 5 years of heartache... The bloody kitchen can wait!!

I just can't seem to snap out of it!! My sis-in-law is pregnant with her second and I can barely look at her, every time I think about her I cry! I'm so stupid

[Lisaandbilly]

We had egg retrieval today out of all the follicles we had 6 eggs hav to phone tommorrow nervous xxx it's a long hard struggle infertility am glad we places like this for help and support as not always friends and family understand P_willy her anytime take care xxx

[P_willy in reply to Lisaandbilly]

Hi Lisa, thank you for replying! Remember it's not quantity it's quality