Having a unsure if it'll happen to me day

Does anyone else have those days where they feel like it'll never happen to them and get frustrated with how easy other people fall pregnant. I'm having a panicky day that it'll never happen to me and feeling really low 😞 Just been talking to a friend who is pregnant and knows of our struggles she was trying to be nice and say ah one day this will all happen for you too I'm sure of it! I'm just not sure it ever will 😞What does everyone else do when they get the doubt? Xx

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  • Hi Bec-A. I think that all you can do for now is to look after you. Be careful who you spend your time with for the moment, so that you don't have to spend time with pregnant friends/relatives. It's so hard when there always seems to be babies around, but we can't alter that. Perhaps if your friend who is pregnant, is a real friend, then you could have a chat with her and tell her how you feel. She will hopefully support you, as I'm sure you would support her, as she may be anxious about the pregnancy. If you are with a fertility clinic, then could you arrange a session of counselling, so you can talk over your feelings on neutral ground?? I do hope that you can keep busy and try and overcome any negative feelings you are having, and I know the girls here will help you too. Thinking of you. Diane

  • I'm sure everyone has those feelings (me included!)...it's a lot more to deal with if the chance of it not happening naturally is taken away from you; you seem to see other options as a last chance saloon which others don't have to consider.

    However, I'm a strong believer in everything happening for a reason. It may not be clear what that reason is (ever!) but I'm sure it's there...maybe we're the strongest ones in our family and friends to be able to deal with something like this and that's the only reason?

    The only way I can now deal with things is that I have no control (outside of making sure I'm in optimal health etc) of how the IVF will go so why worry about it? I know that stress will also cause problems.

    I'll soon be surrounded by babies (one a third for the couple, one conceived after a month of trying, and one an 'unexpected' joy)...I will just have to look at this as all great practice for if/when i get the chance to have my own xx

  • I've always felt like allowing yourself to have doubt and be sad is part of dealing with the situation. It's all fine and good trying to be positive all the time, but man, that takes it's toll! I'm not saying don't be positive, just don't beat yourself up for not being positive 100% of the time. Everyone has good and bad days!

  • Oh god yeah, all the time I did! Wasn't ever really convinced ivf would work either! I still find it hard to believe it has and it doesn't feel real. All I could do on my lowest days was to have a little cry and then just push on. It is hard I know. Don't give up before you even get started. X

  • Hey love I had that all the time. Was pumped up ready for ivf #2 in April and I've gotten pregnant naturally! I didn't expect it at all but I am so grateful. To see it from both sides is an eye opener.

    Try be as positive as possible. But also don't dwell on it. Enjoy every day and a miracle will be around the corner x

  • Yes! I've also just got off the phone to my friend who has just had a baby, getting pregnant very easily.

    People seem to be more positive about my situation than me! I guess its because we have to live with the rollercoaster of emotions and testing times.

    I hope you feel better soon and I wish you lots of baby luck.

    Lucy xx

  • Yes all the time! I find talking it out helps so much. Sometimes when I bottle those feelings up day after day, I can truly feel awful and like I just want to run away. Talk out loud to yourself about how you're feeling if you can't keep talking to others. I too believe everything happens for a reason so try and relax. My aunty had problems conceiving when she was my age and she says she was so down about it for so long that she feels like she lost that part of her life. She told me not to waste NOW thinking about the future. Sending you lots of love - you're not alone!! X

  • All the time I feel like that some days worst than others I just feel like somedays o know it's not meant to be specially like you say when everyone around you falls pregnant,

    It's easier said than done but we've just got to try thing positive and have some faith in what will be.

    Xx

  • Hey

    I definitely feel like that we've not even started the process yet but we know what's in front of us, male infertility, low ovarian reserve and thyroid disorder and I'm already scared to death thinking it will never happen! Do I really want to do this? Of course I do but I'm terrified. I don't think it helps my best friend has just had a baby although they are 200 miles away I'm seeing endless photos and feel bad for being a rubbish friend. Sorry for ranting xx

  • I think it's pretty natural and I definitely had those feelings some times over the 5 years we were trying through frustration. Deep down though I always knew I would have a family I was convinced, so I would dry my tears and carry on. Surprisingly the time my husband and I werent thinking about dates/ times etc we fell pregnant ourselves after such a long time and now we are nearly half way through our pregnancy. Miracles happen - stay strong and good luck xx

  • Bec-A, I feel your pain. I have those days. Those crappy doubt-filled days, where pregnant women seem to be coming at me on the street. (they are everywhere! :) )

    But just remember the future is unwritten. You never know what might happen. You could have a family, just not the way you expected. Don't give up hope. And when you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. That is all part of the process too. Be kind to yourself.

    Also, if you are looking for an infertile friend, message me! I'm in London and definitely not pregnant right now!

    xx C

  • I think this daily!! So sympathise & sending u big hugs xxx

  • Some days are much harder than others that's for sure but I just try and keep in mind that there are also good days as well as the bad. When I'm feeling down I try and remind myself of all the stuff that im blessed with and it makes me realise that even though things aren't exactly as i want them to be I am greatful for my health (apart from fertility issues) I've got a great bf, ive got a nice flat, both my parents and I great team at work. When I'm down these things help me get through and focus on the goods things in my life xxx

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