Piecing ourselves back together

How do we do it ladies?

I desperately want to change my mindset - I was so depressed about infertility last year & anxious during 2WW and believe my frame of mind negatively affected the outcome.

I would love to be able to flip a switch in my head & just turn off all the worry, but I don't know where to start. My sister was successful first round, and had a lot more going against her than me - she said she didn't analyse or overthink any of it, just went through the motions. How?!

Has anyone tried hypnosis? I used the IVF belief CD throughout my treatment and think it helped (to a point).

I'm also going to seek yet more counselling to help me come to terms with this failed round. I feel a mess.

Would love any hints / tips from other warriors. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I usually sign off by sending positive vibes but I'm all out!

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  • Hi, I was unsuccessful on my first round of IVF too, but I am putting it down to the hospital not paying enough attention to my case and I believe it was not my time and had some negatives thoughts. I did a second round using a private hospital and approached it differently as I now know what it entails. I only think with positive thinking and now have 5 x 5 day blast ready for use. I could not have a fresh transfer as the doctors thought I had OHSS. I truly believe if you stress over everything, it will negatively impact on your body, so please try and be positive. Believe in yourself, you can do this !

  • Your right . We overthink and over stress and google everything. We just have to go with the flow. Reserach is good but we all over do it sometimes. I hope u feel better noodles.x

  • thanks lovely 😘

  • hi ditsy thanks for your reply. i also had an issue with my hospital on day of embryo transfer - i was left waiting 2 hours with full bladder, and no explanation! by the time i was taken in for transfer i was so anxious, given my treatment had gone fairly well i will always wonder if that's what went wrong. how did you manage to shift your thinking after your negative experience?

    thank you for sharing your story - it gives me hope.

    good luck on your journey xxx

  • Hi i just thought that yes the cycle failed, but there is always hope for another try. I think just try and go with the flow, that way you worry and stress yourself out less and it could improve your chances if your body has less to worry about, as your body is under a lot of stress and change as it is. Give yourself the best possible start . . and don't give up x

  • Aww. I'm sending positive vibes your way! It's so tough this journey, trust me, even after my bfp most days I feel like crying because it feels too good to be true. Waiting for my first scan is torturous.

    I was under a lot of stress during my first cycle. There was so many negative things happening to friends and family and my OH was poorly too. But this time everything had calmed down. I was less stressed. I truly believe now that it helped.

    I hope you manage to find some sort of peace for your next cycle and that you get your bfp... then the real insanity will begin πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ xx

  • I feel exactly the same if it's any reassurance to you. There are days when it eats away at me, especially when work is quiet! I think what helps is keeping your mind occupied that seems to help me. I still over think everything and it's the first thing and last thing I think about every day 😞 I hope you get through it, I've found coming on here when I am stressed helps because everyone is so nice and I find people that aren't going through it can't really help as they don't have a clue what it's like. I hope things get better, just take it day by day and remain positive πŸ˜€

  • thank you bec - it is reassuring to know i'm not alone, especially when this can be such a lonely journey.

    where are you up to with your treatment? wishing you all the best xx

  • I've been having lots of scans since October and I haven't really been told why I am not conceiving yet. I have that meeting in May. I'm so scared of finding out what is wrong but also really hopeful that there is a cure and a plan to get me pregnant. It's the not knowing that is killing me ATM!

  • oh bec - i really understand that feeling - i know you've heard it a million times but try to relax & not think the worst - stress in itself can have a blocking effect on our allowing our body to conceive.

    if there is "something wrong" then identifying it is the first step, then you can start to make a plan of action.

    have you tried mindfulness or reflexology / acunpuncture?

    sending you lots of love xx

  • Hey noodles, sorry to hear that you are struggling! It is hard to pick yourself up when you get a negative cycle, Ive had two now and it doesnt get any easier! I cant say what will work for you but I had a damn good cry, then cried some more....and a bit more after that! I spent some quality time with my husband, had a few alcohol binge night outs (I know, naughty) but decided I would do some "normal things". I then went onto booking a week away in April for us before we start our next cycle which is due aroud May, both as a treat but mainly to relax which I feel is more needed than anything! I figured we could both relax together away from home and work before we start again. Sending you big hugs at this cr@p time!xx

  • I am right here with your mrs...I totally am. I feel a positive mindset is crucial and even though we had another bfn today my mindset this time was much more positive and our cycle in the whole despite outcome was better. It is so easy to get angry and upset but I am digging deep, real deep as I do not want to be that person. I have belief that for whatever reason this is not our time but we must believe it will be. I know down days are ahead..they are in the post for sure and I am going to let those happen as good days will follow. I am going to get a haircut and colour and paint my frigging nails and have some wine..I am going to continue to practice mindfulness which I find helpful overall for my wellbeing. I am going to exercise and shift some weight as I have eaten a ton of m&ms this cycle. I am going to do the 10k in summer, book a holiday, see friends and above all laugh and have some fun. I also found yoga really helpful and am into ways to increase happiness generally and will do the wee gratitude diary idea and I saw a great idea the other day for a laughter journal. I will share any of my books, web links with you if you want. Please know you are not alone..I send a huge virtual hug xxxxxxx

  • wow - you have the best attitude, i love how proactive you've been in making plans, especially on the same day you received your 'f'ing' news. you are a true source of inspiration, if you can do this, then so can i!!

    which mindfulness app do you use?

    hope you're feeling ok today. sending lots of love xxxx

  • Ok so today I feel like shit..exhausted, upset, lost, empty. It will pass and I knew it was coming this time. How are you doing? I bought the book ..mindfulness..peace in a frantic world by mark Williams. It has a cd in it that I use daily..huge help when I feel I am losing my mind. Also I have a friend who did 10 sessions on sound cloud..will find and pm you. Also I bought ruby wax book..frazzled in fact my dh bought me tickets to see her this weekend. I am into mindfulness with my work anyway but it is really helpful xxx

  • Hi noodles I'm reading 'mindfulness a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world' because I knew I absolutely had to do something to relax my mind and body and it has definitely helped to ground me and focus on normal daily things. The book says that you have to practice for 8 weeks and have to do short meditations each day to benefit but it's quite nice to have a challenge along side all the ivf stuff. The book comes with a cd to take you through the meditations or you can download from the Internet, im on about a week and a half and i already feel much calmer. I've also had some counselling and do acupuncture when I can I think it's about getting as much support as you can and trying to be kind to yourself. I'm thinking of going to a support group next week through Id give it a try. Hope you have a better day tomorrow sending postive vibes your way xxxx

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