Stressed about my little follies!

[Oakey80]

Sorry guys, me again! I feel like i'm going mad stuck here at home...Google is not my friend!!

So as you know I was ill yesterday with a horrible sickness bug and ended up having a day 5 scan to check on my stimming progress incase it was connected. They could only find 8 x 10mm and although they said they weren't overly worried because it was still early days (day 5) I've been going out of my head with worry ever since! I'm sat at home as work has told me not to go back until Monday, and have spent pretty much all day looking into what I can do/should have been doing to help them grow. I'm starting to beat myself up because I should have had more water/protein/heat when I can barely stomach any food because I've been ill.

Just feel like giving up, like I've ruined it all by getting ill and not looking after myself in the first place.

Sorry for coming back on here again as it sounds like I'm always whinging but this week has not been a good one for me 😓...my clinic has me booked for ec next weds and they're not flexible so I feel like it's a race against the clock to get some decent numbers!

Xx

[helsroo]

This is such a stressful time for you, I'm not surprised you're going a bit loopy. There's nothing you could have done about this - if you're poorly, you're poorly - so try to be kind to yourself.

You've got a few days now to take it easy and send positive vibes to your follies, so relax ( as much you can), drink loads of water, and eat delicious things to help things along. If your appetite is small, could you try fresh milkshakes or smoothies? Or soups? All comforting but also nutritious.

Have you got another scan before EC? If not, could you request one, just for your owm peace of mind?

I really hope you start to feel better soon; IVF is a tough old road!

Loads of luck and baby dust🎇🎇🎇🎇

H xx

[Oakey80 in reply to helsroo]

Hi Helsroo,

Thanks for replying to this crazy lady!

I was doing ok before this week but since Sat I've had horrible side effects, wild moods, sickness and not-so-positive news on my progress. Its a lot to take stock of in one week and before now I'd been sailing through it!

I'm racking my brains to think what I can eat that doesn't turn my stomach that's still high in protein. I can't hack meat or any strong flavours right now so might get some plain white fish or something.

My clinic are scanning me again tomorrow so I'm keeping everything crossed they'll be some progress so I can breathe again!!

xx

[helsroo in reply to Oakey80]

Good stuff - hopefully your scan tomorrow will help you feel calmer, but you know where we all are if not.

Can you stomach hot, milky drinks? They can be quite comforting. I've just tried hot chocolate made with coconut milk and it was delicious!

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

H x

[vic77]

Try if you can to stay calm..this is a long process in some ways and you just at start so keep positive. I didn't have a scan till day 10 so that is early and I would say 8 is good. If the hospital weren't worried try to breathe and take their word that all is well. Growth happens in a short period of time. Mind the earlier post about being a warrior not a worrier if you can. You cannot blame yourself for not eating certain things..we are not made of glass and not perfect..yikes I have eaten my body weight in chocolate this cycle 😜try some mindfulness or relaxation stuff on YouTube that might help you relax as this will help create a nice chilled space for follicle growth too.. Lots of love and luck xxxx

[Oakey80 in reply to vic77]

Hi Vic77,

Thanks for replying. It means so much that people take time out of their day to stop by!

I'm only stimming for 10 days. My clinic is very basic so they only have one schedule that you need to fit into!

I've been fine until now as I've been losing myself in my work. 2 days off work sitting by myself has driven me crazy whilst I analyse every tiny thing. It doesn't help my dh is working 14hr days...I think he's avoiding me (and my germs)

I'm off to acupuncture soon so hopefully that will calm me down.

Hating this whole process ...comes to something when the next thing you have to look forward to is egg collection (which is also freaking me out!!) Everytime I read anything about it I burst into tears 😢

Xx

[vic77]

Awww honey...acupuncture will chill you out so just think those follicles could double in size by day 10 then 8 fab follicles plus probably others. We have to look out for each other on here so am happy to reply and offer support and advice. Egg collection istotally ok. I slept through whole thing so so will you..never felt a thing..ask anything you like on here. .enjoy acupuncture. .jees is a worry when we pay for pain now 😉xx

[Strawb86]

Hey Oakey, just a quick one to say I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky! I'm also a bit paranoid about the size of my follicles on day 6 but all of my googling tells me that we cant predict what will happen between now and our next scan and they're more than likely to do lots of good growing in time for egg collection. Keeping my fingers crossed that that's the case for you. In the meantime if you can stomach nuts such as almonds, peanuts, walnuts etc. they're a great source of protein! xx

[emmab178]

Aww poor you, big hugs. I had a frantic google and mid stims wobble when mine weren't coming up in size. I read they grow 1-2mm every day and 2-4mm per day after trigger so you have plenty of time to get there. If your clinic were concerned they'd be upping your daily stims.

Try to concentrate on the good, they are all growing at the same rate and 8 all together the same size is fantastic. No need to worry about any over maturing or not getting any slow growers to ec.

You need some positive thinking to get you out of the wobble. I've got 8 random sizes ones but I'm telling myself that I'm going to get 6 eggs at ec tomorrow and when I do it's going to be great news and I will cry and be happy about my mono ovary performance. (Apparently thinking about how the positive outcome will feel will help reinforce the positive thinking). I've repeated this to myself for the past two days and it really does make you feel better and less anxious. This comes from the world's most negative anxious person!

I'm not sure what studies have been produced about the food etc. I only started drinking the full fat milk two days ago mid wobble. If it was that critical how could women in third world countries conceive??? If heat helped, how do they conceive in cold climates??I think we like to think we are in control of what's going on when really we are on the rollercoaster and just waiting to see how the body reacts.

Most important thing is to look after yourself. You are under intense pressure right now. I know I'm putting more pressure on myself than anyone could ever do but the positive thinking is helping.

I went for a Thai massage. I'm sure some google site said it would be the worst thing to do but it got out all the knots and a bit of stress. Hopefully the acupuncture will work.

Remember these drugs are sending you into frantic overdrive both physically and emotionally. I'm an engineer and I told my builder the wrong dimension on where our external door was going. Oops. Of course the drugs did this...lucky my husband walked past an hour later and quickly said the door isn't going there! Poor builders.

Big big hugs x

PS I only drink the milk because I add a packet of angel delight. Again I'm sure somewhere this is the worst thing I can do but sod it, I hate full fat milk.

[Hidden]

No need to apologise this is what we're here for and please don't beat yourself up about what you should have been doing. At this point in the game we are in the hands of the doctors and like you say if they aren't overly worried then you shouldn't be either (of course you will do as this is only natural) it's so hard because you want to be at home and relax and be calm but at the same time we are our own worst eminines and our harshest critics so you need to accept this and give yourself a break. You'll continue to look after yourself the best that you can until ec and this is all you can do. I know all of the above is easier said then done but I hope your feeling calmer now. Practicing mindfulness has helped me so much dealing with the stress and anxiety so might help if you find some online tutorials helped to feel a bit more relaxed and in control. Wishing you all the best xxx