Hey my lovely ladies hope you are well ❤️ I thought let me check in don't want you worrying about me 😂😂😂
So last Monday I had a scan and incomplete miscarriage was confirmed. Doctor let me come home after we've agreed I'll get checked by EPU to make sure no tissue has left. So I've returned home Monday night, did some cleaning Tuesday and just tried to ge back to my life.
So I'm having this conversation with my mum and she shares she started seeing someone (we've lost my dad two years ago)I fully support her seeing other people as she is still young but the guy is a total loser and she did share a bit too many details and I felt awful. Next thing same day I've found out I'll be an auntie. My lovely brother and his wife got pregnant first time trying. Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits but I just felt so sorry for myself. So I've spent the whole Wednesday morning crying my eyes out pitying myself.
So Wednesday evening I'm on my way to pick up my dog driving and all of a sudden I felt like hit by a truck all shaking, hands and legs cold and I've ended up in a&e with 160 blood pressure and 121 pulse. I've never been so scared in my life. Thank God things have settled and I feel much better. The doc in a&e tried to make it look like I had a panic attack I don't think so but maybe deep inside I'm more stressed and anxious than I think.
On a positive note (not literally lol) I had a scan on Thursday and is all fine no leftovers. HCG on Wednesday was 186, and Friday already down to 90 so things are settling slowly slowly.
But this time I feel more broken than ever.I can't help but feel so sorry for myself. I know soon I'll heal and feel better but for now I'm curled up on the sofa watching Netflix ❤️❤️❤️
Lots of love, hugs, smiles and positive vibes you way! I'll be back soon bursting with positivity I promise ❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰
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Klndmr
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I Just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for all your going through, sounds like you've had a rough few weeks with everything going on, also stress & anxiety can cause all sorts of extra issues to our bodies, not just mentally it can also be felt physically too, the stuff you've had to face lately is more than enough to make you feel the affects.
I hope you are recovering physically the best as you can in these circumstances, emotionally your probably feeling defeated at the minute but I know you(from your posts lol) & know how bloody inspirational , determined , positive, & brave you have been & no doubt will be able to pick yourself up to carry on in this journey again.
I bet you are glad to actually be home now so you can relax & recover in your own space, hope your dog is giving you comfort at this sad time . thinking of you & sending you all the strength!!!🥰
Thank you for this amazing message and support ❤️❤️❤️
I think sometimes we make ourselves believe we are stronger than we actually are. And we always want to get up, clean the dust and just crack on with things but it doesn't always work this way. And sometimes we bottle up a bit too much and we don't realise how hard are we on ourselves trying to be this brave and extremely strong woman we want everyone to see in us .
For the first time since starting this battle with infertility I feel like crying pretty much every day in the past one week. I don't know if is the hormones, the loss or everything else but I know better times are coming. And for one thing I'm sure nothing can make me give up . Once I'm done with feeling miserable I'll get up and fight stronger than ever! That's what we always do isn't it?
You take all the time you need ❤️, you don't have to be strong and brave , let those tears out, they say that crying helps us heal or something like that, after all you are grieving!!! and sometimes others do not understand that it is infact grief , the losses you have faced, the treatment you've had to endure it's all so heartbreaking, It's unfair and then having to face your brothers pregnancy announcement on top of that, this comes with all kinds of emotions, of course you are pleased for them, but it causes more distress for yourselves , just seeing how bloody simple it is for some people to get pregnant whilst you have been battling on, also what I have found difficult is the innocence that others get with there pregnancies, ones who fall pregnant straight away, having not faced infertility, ivf or losses, they get to enjoy the excitement of pregnancy, whilst even before my loss I always worried, as I can imagine you have with every part of treatment, pregnancy etc.
You take care, and know we are all here for you ❤️xx
Hello, I just wanted to pop on and say hi and send some love your way. Your posts are always incredibly inspiring but please don't ever feel that you need to put on a brave face and be positive all the time. You have been through so much, and are allowed to just feel all the pain and sadness. I hope your dog is providing you some comfort, I don't know where I would be without my little furry boy these last two years. Sending strength xxx
Fur babies are like medicine aren't they? Mine has been with me for 6 and a half years and with all my losses he's been my comfort 🤗 I bet he sometimes thinks I'm bloody mental 😂😂😂
Im really sorry for what you are going through as well. Its bl...y unfair but unfortunately we can't do much but stay as strong as possible and fight until we can get what we want more than anything else.
I've told myself this time I'm not bottling up feelings. I'll stay miserable for as long as I want and need cause I really need it this time. So if this means pyjamas and Netflix for a month, let it be 😂😂😂
I just want to give you a big hug! Im truely so sorry for everything you are going through. I hope you get some time to yourself and recover and find some inner peace. Thinking of you and sending you all my love xx
This is a hell of a lot to go through my lovely. It is okay to feel down and sad, as much as you are a ray of sunshine you have been through so much and that would take a toll on anyone. Make sure you're putting your energy in to looking after yourself however that may be, you will be okay❤️
Thank you! That's what I've decided I'll do this time. I'll just focus on my physical and mental health for a bit, stay away from everyone's problems cause I'm like my friends free counsellor 😂😂😂 and just be sad and miserable for as long as needed.
How are you doing? Did you have another scan? Hope things improve and it was just due to another person doing the scan. I've got all my fingers crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m so so so sorry. Life is so cruel sometimes. I think you’re taking it really well. Totally understand your need to cry and feel frustrated that it’s happening first time for your brother. Of course you wouldn’t want to deny them but it does feel unfair doesn’t it. I hope you can start to relax. Have some wine, have a soak in the bath and be very kind to yourself xxx
It does feel unfair and then on the other hand I feel so guilty feeling jealous of my little brother's happiness. I love them both to bits but I'm so so sorry it's never me. It's actually kind of my fault cause I've told them no matter what happens with me if it happens for them I should be the first to know 🙈🙈🙈 so he has just listened to his big sisters wishes 🙈🙈🙈
Wine and Desperate Housewives it's what make some happy last few days 😂😂😂
I know what you mean and it’s good that you do know first and they’re not pussyfooting around you but you’re completely entitled to feel it’s unfair. Because it is! I know how hard you’ve been trying and how positive you’ve been. It’s not fair to you that you’re in this position again and the doctors don’t know why. Definitely a time to spend on yourself - you matter - and getting yourself well is paramount. I’m glad desperate housewives and wine are your comfort. And when you can see through the fog you can think about someone other than yourself. Take so much care of yourself lovely xxxxxx
Our bodies and brains only have enough capacity to cope with a finite amount of stuff at once, and your poor body and brain is absolutely overwhelmed with stuff, add the hormones etc as well and it’s just impossible for anyone to cope with all of that. Can you get some counselling? I don’t even mean fertility I mean more bereavement or general counselling, I feel like you need someone to listen to all of this and tell you it’s going to be ok.. which it is, but someone qualified to help you unpick it and help you acknowledge all your feelings are totally valid.
You are all out of energy lovely, you have been fighting for so long, you need support and time to recharge and get your fight back. I so hope you find someone who can help you with this, ironically it was NHS Talking Therapies that helped me at my lowest ebb after all my clinics counsellors hadn't helped at all.
I wonder one thing, how do you always know what to say to make me feel better? Thank you for always been here with great advices in good and bad times, it's very much appreciated!
Ive been always reluctant when it comes to counseling. I know it's silly, very silly but I feel like if I use counseling or something like that I'm admitting I have a problem I can't solve it myself. I always try to just get over things in my own way. One thing I'll do is have another session wof medication with a lady who does emotional healing. This is something that has worked great for me in the last few months.
How is everything with you? Hope you are taking is easy and everything is going well! Hugs your way
am so sorry for all you are going through I can feel your pain by just looking into your eyes like I always say to you I love your energy and positivity it is ok to be sad and to feel sorry for yourself you are human I believe in you you can overcome this and someday soon you a going to have your happy ending. Sending you lots of love and hugs
Thank you! That's why I like sharing photos, I like to show raw feelings like happiness, hope, sadness, sharing how I feel has always made me feel very good especially with people who know what actually I'm going through ❤️❤️❤️ And no matter how hard time we go through I will always always believe in happy ending and will figh towards it ❤️🤗 Lots of loves and hugs your way too
Sending you the biggest hug. You must feel totally emotionally burnt out. I don't think I can add anything constructive that hasn't been said already, but if sending positive energy really helps, know you'll be overwhelmed with it from all of us on here to help you recharge
The positive energy and support I get here helps me so much, I can't even explain it with words but it's so so important! Definitely burnt out and heartbroken but never giving up! How are you doing? Settling well back in UK? After all you've been through its now time for some happiness and relaxation ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Hope you are feeling better ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. I always read your posts and I am desperately hoping for the best outcome for you. You have every right to feel sorry for yourself and moan. It’s absolutely unfair what’s happened to you. I’m praying all this will eventually lead to your rainbow baby ❤️
Sending you lots of love! 💗 Just want to say that it's really ok to not be ok! I'm a total wreck most of the time honestly. I think if you need to let it out some way, that's probably a good and healthy thing! You're going through a lot, and there is light at the end of the tunnel! But right now don't be afraid to do whatever you need for yourself and get all the support you can. You deserve it! Hope you feel better soon xx
Thank you! I've decided this time I'll be miserable and sad for as long as I wish cause I deserve it, I won't pretend everything is okay like every other time. And I actually feel good to be able to feel sad ❤️❤️❤️ Hope you are recovering well, sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. I’m sending you all my love, don’t feel rushed to get back to ‘normal’ take all the Netflix duvet days you need ❤️
im so sorry and truly heartbroken for you. It's so hard when people close to you announce their pregnancy joy.....i remember that feeling too well and not knowing if I would ever be a mum. I kept going and managed to achieve my dream and am sitting here cuddling my beautiful daughter.....yes it took 9 transfers, one miscarriage at 9 weeks, one miscarriage at 17+4 and another at 17.6 days but I managed to keep going. Only you know how much you can handle physically and mentally but whilst it does help to cry, do take time to process it and if you have it on you then try again. Did you find out if you had enough progesterone?
Thankyou for your lovely message and I'm really happy after all the heartache your miracle is in your hands! Success stories always give me strength and hope!
Yes, my consultant was very careful with my progesterone levels. I had them regularly checked before transfer, the day of transfer and on OTD. I did end up with the highest dose he has ever given to someone but levels were great
Definetely! Some people asked me why I don't go to someone else but the truth is I trust this man so much and I could see he did everything he could to make it work better this time. And I believe with all my heart he will find a way to help me stay pregnant and have my little miracle 🥰🥰🥰🥰🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️
Hey honey, you're bloody entitled to feel like shit and feel sorry for yourself! What a shitty shitty time you are having between all the news coming your way and what you've been through, I actually think you're doing pretty well all things considered.....Netflix and couch time is just what you need. I know that I don't know you but you need this time, this is the time you need to gather strength before you get up again. You can only take so many knocks sweetheart. Enjoy Netflix, wine, ice cream, chocolate and crisps....lounge around, you bloody deserve it. Massive hugs and love.🥰🤗💞xxxx
True we don't know eachother but most times we understand each other better than anyone else. As I said I've decided this time I'll let myself feel miserable and sad for as long as needed 🙈🙈🙈🤗🤗🤗🤗 Millions hugs and love your way! Hope you are well
I am so sorry you ve been through such a hard day and week.
I do hope you get some rest today.
YI am sorry that you had yet another physical scare and that your mum might not be in the healthiest of relationship. This anxiety is extra and unnecessary for you at the moment.
Thanm you! I'm sure I will I'm already ready with a plan but hubby doesn't want to hear anything about it in the next few months/a year 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🙈 Hope you are well
I totally get it! Being a doctor my husband instructed me to take a few months off because of all the hormones 🤦🏻♀️ my approach is bringing it up gently and subtly (not so subtly) every week or so 😂😂 all is well thank you xx
Hahha they are always so good with their advices and recommendations but they don't know how women's mind work isn't it 🙈🤗 In all honesty I'm giving myself a week before I'm ready to plan and go again 😂😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🙈
HI Lovely,good to know things are settling in and you are gearing up for the next steps.
I had a similar situation where recently a week ago I became an aunt to a boy and can totally relate to what your are feeling.
I also posted the same things,I won't lie it is a bittersweet situation read bitter more and sweet less,I don't know is it right or wrong to feel that way but this is the reality.
Me and my hubby have always wanted to have kid since we got married and still trying will keep doing so until finally we have a lovely child in our lives and my brother comes home from a different country for 2 weeks and they get pregnant.
I really hope it was that easy for us all to get pregnant and here people are struggling,taking loans,using their savings an what not.
It is a dream for us all to become parents but I know God is good and will definitelyl listen to our prayers soon and will bless us with lots of healthy babies
Just wanted to say be positive and have faith and keep praying and keep saying it will definitely happen to us one day...
Thank you for your sweet words! It is so difficult for us to go through all that and sometimes things around us are so unfair. But I do believe with all my heart too that one day it will be out turn. Hopefully soon than we think ❤️❤️❤️❤️🍀🍀🍀🍀🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Lots of love your way ❤️❤️❤️
it’s just not fair is it! Just wanted to pop on and let you know I’m thinking of you. That’s a ridiculously rough week. I hope doggy is giving you big cuddles xx
What a lot to go through in one week! I’m so so 😣 take care of yourself lovely 😢 lots of selfish self care is just what the doctor ordered 🤗 sending hugs and lots of love xx
Yeapp lots and lots selfish self care definitely 😁 Coffee, blanket, sofa and Netflix and staying away from people, that always work a magic for me 😂😂😂❤️🤗🤗🤗🤗 Hope you are well
Hi hun, I am very sorry to read all that is happening to you right now, it’s a lot and I can only imagine how you must feel. It’s totally unfair and literally I cannot wait for you to have your happy ending. You deserve it so much and I just know it’s on its way to you. It can’t be otherwise! For some reason life puts you in certain situations, but keep smiling and know your time is coming soon. Lots of baby dust your way ✨❤️
Awww thank youuuuu, everything you said is so sweet and means a lot to me! We've been here for long enough and it's time one by one we all move to the other group 🙈🙈🙈🤗🤗🤗 Hope it's all going great with you! 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗
Hi Klndmr. I don't know you my dear girl. but I feel so proud of the way you have been coping this last couple of years, with losing your Dad into the mix. That beautiful smile of yours is holding back much sadness, I can see, but I hope with all my heart that when you get pregnant again, your little one will decide to stay this time and make you into the family you so want to be. Love and hugs. Diane xx
Thank you for your lovely words Diane, the support here means the world to me in the past few years! It's been tough and isn't getting better yet but I've always been a positive believer and I'm sure soon things will be different and happiness will knock on my door again and apologise for being away for so long 😍😍😍😍😍🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏🙏🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 Lots of love from me too ❤️❤️❤️
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Arrrrr just been asked 'when are you going to have a baby'
Hoping to spread a little happiness...
Cycle cancelled - poor responder -_-
