New member with PCOS

[AndRelax]

Hi all

I'm a new member and my husband and I have been trying for nine months. I was diagnosed with PCOS 11 years ago (I'm now 32) which is what the doctors think is likely to be the issue and they have let us get the ball rolling with blood tests.

I was always fine to live with the symptoms of PCOS until we started trying and went to the GP before we started to ask for advice which was 'PCOS is not always a barrier to getting pregnant. Go and try and come back in nine months if nothing has happened'.

After nine months, I've gone back to the GP to see a female doctor who was very understanding. I'm going to do my day 21blood test this week but I'm concerned, as whilst I do get periods regularly (which tend to last between 6-11 days), I never quite know when they are coming as I have anywhere between a 22 to 32-day cycle. If I don't get an early period, I was aiming to go on day 23 (as I think I do ovulate on CD17) which will be this Friday. If you have been in a similar situation, what did you do?

One of the other things I'm struggling with is the feeling of jealousy and then guilt for feeling jealous. In the last couple of weeks, two family members have announced unplanned pregnancies and a friend has announced she got pregnant first time she tried. I am happy for them but I can't get my head around how people manage to get pregnant by accident (obviously I know this can happen but when you're trying to do it on purpose and it doesn't happen, it makes no sense!). I'd really appreciate anyone sharing experiences of how they've handled this kind of thing!

I'm also finding it difficult with close (and not so close) family members asking me quite regularly 'when are you two going to have a baby'. We're quite a private couple and haven't told anyone we're trying and I can get upset when family keep asking me and I've got nothing to say to them. I've had one of my grandmothers tell me that a younger relative 'beat me' to getting pregnant first - she didn't mean any harm but it did hurt. My other grandmother also keeps telling me that I need to hurry up as she's not going to be around much longer. Has anyone decided not to tell family that they are trying and how do you deal with comments like this?

Sorry - think this is nine months' worth of offloading!

[E_05]

Hey, this is definitely the place to off load so don't worry about that!

Everything your describing about how your feeling is totally 'normal' - it's such an emotional roller coaster and when your struggling for something you want so much and it just happens so easy for someone else it's understandable to have those feeling, your not alone.

I hated that question after I got married and would say we're focusing on doing the house up, 'if it happens it happens' but as time went on it became harder to think of excuses. Last year after my first cycle of IVF I miscarried and we decided to be open to family and very close friends about what we're going through. I think only you and your partner can decide who your going to confide in though and unfortunately even if you do tell people unless you've been/going through this they often still don't totally understand x

[AndRelax in reply to E_05]

Thanks so much for this! I was considering telling people only to stop them asking but I don't know anyone who has gone through this so I think I'll keep it between my husband and me and come here for extra support- especially as I now know I can offload without being judged!

[E_05 in reply to AndRelax]

Definitely, you won't get any judgement here. All the ladies are so lovely, I wish I'd found it sooner. I think just take each day as it come, as you go through treatment you may feel you can confide in a couple of people but no need to put any added pressure on yourselves 🙂

[romaluna2015]

I just say to people when I'm good and ready I will have a baby xx

[Newqgirl1]

Think all of us can relate, think you just learn to deal with it your own way, I went through a very resentful stage and now I think I've accepted it won't be easy for us, everyone has different struggles in their lives and this is ours right now. Some days it's easier than others!

With the persistent questioners I've gone from 'you never know what's round the corner' to 'it doesn't come that easy to some people' or 'we're not all that lucky' that soon shuts people up!! Good luck

[Hayleigh86]

Hello and welcome, i too have pcos but was only diagnosed last year. I had known I had it for numerous years but was only diagnosed once i changed my doctor and started to look at reasons why i hadnt fallen pregnant. We have been trying for 7 years and have just gone through our first round of ivf, currently in the 2ww. I can sympathise wuth the feelibgs of jealousy - i think this is normal and to be expected. I wish you lots of luck on your journey xx

[kelsbels88]

Hi 👋

All your feeling are very normal. Sadly there isn't much we can do about people "falling" pregnant. If they are aware of what you're going through it may seem a little insensitive, if they aren't aware then sadly they don't know they are doing something to upset you.

I found out today that someone I knew wasn't trying basically got pregnant by accident as they were sick and their contraception didn't work.

It is so hard managing those feelings of jealousy and upset I am in this very phase at the moment I've even had to remove myself from social media to limit the amount I have to see. However none of this is made any easier as I work with children so see them everyday, which in some ways is a blessing as they soothe the upset and in others isn't as they remind me in the low days of what I can't seem to have.

Please don't think u are alone I'm sure everyone will tell you they have been there. Try and keep positive.

Kelly x