Help

[Hannahx20]

Im struggling, im 21 and have been trying to conceive for over 2 years with my husband. We are now going through tests but it doesn't look positive, today I found out my sister is 5 weeks pregnant and I feel completely heartbroken and angry at her. I should be happy but I have no idea how to be, can someone help?

[bibi_16]

Hi hannah. Please dont worry to much. Ur are very young which is a mega positive for you. I hope ur tests come bk fine. Have you been referred to fertility clinic by ur gp. Hope u sont mind me asking.xx

[Hannahx20 in reply to bibi_16]

Thank you, yes just waiting on appointment coming through as my bloods were everywhere when they tested them, different results every month xx

[bibi_16 in reply to Hannahx20]

Alright. Wish you al the best. Xx

[72cloud9]

U are not alone in these feelings! Whilst we try to b happy for everyone else it is hard not to feel angry bcos of our situation so don't give yourself too hard a time about that! It's normal!

You will probably feel more positive once u have had a clinic go thru all ur tests and been given proper information on what can be done & what your options are.

Now u have an appointment in the pupeline try & take the positive from that, that u r one step closer to your goal xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Hannahx20. It is important to tell yourself that the feelings you are experiencing are quite normal. It’s important that you choose how and with who you spend your time at the moment in order to minimise any distress and to look after yourselves. On a practical level, maybe you could start a new hobby, if you have time. Also remember that most people experiencing infertility do so as a couple and often feel very isolated, so apart from each other, it would be good to confide in one of your best friends or a family member – maybe your sister, who will be needing support too, and in return will support you I’m sure. There are always going to be pregnant women and babies around, we can’t alter that, but remember that you do not have to go to parties for babies/children, just send a card with perhaps a gift of money or a voucher, saying that you look forward to meeting “whoever” in the future. Perhaps look into attending a support group? If you have a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org you will be able to access a list of groups. There’s always the opportunity of counselling which might help, your clinic should be able to organise this for you both. Meanwhile I do wish you well with your treatment when you start, and of course for a positive result. Thinking of you. Diane

[Hidden]

I think it always come as a shock when someone really close announces a pregnancy But the main thing for you is that you are going for tests and you should have the results soon enough and once you have your results the doctors will be able to advise the best plan forward for you. You are fortunate that you are still very young and if there are any issues then you have time on your side. I'm sure you will be happy for your sister in time so don't be too hard on yourself as dealing with fertility is very stressful and upsetting at times xxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I just wrote this on another post, but thought it might help you too:

I felt like this when my sister in law was pregnant too. I was SO jealous. And made worse by the fact my brother is younger than me so I didn't expect him to have a baby first. But once my niece was born, I just loved her. It's really special being an auntie.

She's now almost four and is very like me, which is kind of bittersweet, but knowing that my brother and his wife tried for three years before they got pregnant with her, I just feel grateful that at least we have a child in the family, even if she's not mine! 💜