As I think is the case for a number of ladies on here, I am surrounded SURROUNDED by pregnant friends, new born babies and young children. My best friend has just given birth to her second child, my sister in law is pregnant with her second child (due imminently), my other sister in law has just given birth, my other friends are trying for their second babies and a close colleague has just also had a baby. I am genuinely excited and happy for them and, at the moment, am not having to feign smiles. In fact, I’ve surprised myself at how attached I’ve become to all of the babies - I absolutely adore them.
In quiet times, when it’s just me and my husband or when I’m alone, it does get really difficult. It seems so unfair. We’ve not told anyone about our difficulties in conceiving, which so far I think is a good thing - I don’t want all of the pregnant or new mums to feel awkward around us.
I don’t think anyone suspects that we’re having difficulties as we didn’t tell anyone we were trying and we’ve only been married for 10 and a half months. We’re also quite young 28 and 30).
I am though finding the hard times very hard. And my unflappable husband is now, I think, also starting to struggle. This is not helped by his socially awkward family who make comments to us like: “Aren’t you a bit behind all of your friends re babies?” Etc. As I say, I genuinely don’t think they have any idea that we’re struggling; I think they are wondering why we haven’t started trying.
My other sister in law also asked if I don’t feel weird given that all of my friends have children - as she sits there smuggly with her new born.
But regardless of our situation, which is unknown to them, in what circumstances is it ever acceptable to make such personal and intrusive comments? Somehow, I manage to respond really politely and not show emotion but when I’m back at home with my husband, I’m devastated.
What does one do in that situation? How can I protect me and my husband from these comments? I’ve already started avoiding certain people which I know is not the right approach and is probably a very slippery slope.
If anyone has any tried and tested tips they would be really gratefully received.
Many thanks ladies xx