Surrogacy (28 yo)

Hello all,

I think here I could rely on your experience and get some support. Like many other women I want to have a big happy family. I was the 7th and the youngest child and my childhood was marvelous. We were very amicable, had our own family traditions and followed them constantly with pleasure. All my sisters and brothers have their own children and try to make them as happy as we were…But I’m the only one infertile. You can’t even imagine how tough this is, I have lots of nephews and sometimes I’m asked to look after them when their parents are out somewhere. I look at them and feel confused. They are so cute and funny, I love them so much but sometimes they make me mad and it seems I hate them sometimes and I hate myself for having such thoughts…

I tried to find out what’s the matter with me and after having an examination dr told me that I have tubal occlusion…don’t even ask how he found out that. I know that even such a serious obstacle is not the end cause there is still a chance of pregnancy, not natural of course, but with IVF. In addition I have a hypertension!!! I’m 28 yo…is that how it supposed to be? So, I can’t get pregnant and I can’t even carry a baby. I can try and express my feelings in my words but it would be a very long story. The only thing I can opt for is surrogacy. I read a lot and even choose few countries where it’s legal and doesn’t cost a million. So, ladies the reason I’m writing here is that I want you to share your experience. Did you find a surrogacy mother on your own? Or you applied for agency or straight for a clinic? Are you satisfied with the process of surrogacy arrangements provided by them? Was it too expensive for you? Did you choose a SM? Did you pay your surromom any extra money or give some gifts? What are advantages and disadvantages of such method I mean from your point of view?

6 Replies

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  • Hello!

    Friends of mine were inspired of many couples’ experiences abroad. They read their stories on the net. Finally they decided to try their luck in Ukraine (surroparents.org), and are happy parents now. They chose the all inclusive package. All meds needed, unlimited attempts and treatment are covered by the package price. I remember them pay 29900 euro. Moreover the clinic provided them with accommodation and transportation. And these are the couple of things I remember from what I was told as for the procedure going there.

    The very first thing is that a couple must be officially married in time the first appointment is conducted. Also a couple has to show the papers proving that a woman can’t get pregnant. Then the necessary tests must be done. All the things discussed with dr and documents signed. The second appointment is conducted in order to get sperm and retrieve eggs.

    This very day the eggs are fertilized. On the fifth day they transfer the embryo to surrogate mother. Then a couple waits two weeks for the pregnancy test. In a month approximately the surrogate mother has her first scan. She has to do them every month since that. A couple receives each time photo and video from the procedure with translation. On week 32-34 a surro and a couple come to Kiev and they all wait for the childbirth at the place. After the birth surrogate signs the papers of her baby refusal. Then a couple waits for the papers in the embassy to be ready. Seems that’s all.

    Hope this helps X hugs X

  • Thanks a lot! Could you please contact your friends and ask them about the name of that clinic? The things you wrote are very attractive to me but the link you gave doesn't work so I can't find out what's there.

    Lots of love!x

  • Of course I will. Please e-mail me as soon as you can. But also you may have a look at surroparents.org/ eviternity.org. There is loads of info. One thing is for sure - the couple has nothing to regret about using the clinic. She still says they started new life with the place! Keep us posting and let your journey be fast and smooth. X

  • oh i'm so sorry you have to go through that awful things...but you're great as you don't give up. still you can use your own eggs and could have a child of your own, with your genes. try to find a bright side, you'll have a baby but you don't need to be pregnant, carry a baby for so long frequently feeling uncomfortable and you won't feel the pain of labor...this things help me to stay calm and be positive xx

    i also opt for surrogacy and tried to find out where is the best place among those i was interersted in. i have financial problems and can't afford very expensive clinic so i was chosing among ukraine and georgia, you know there are not many countries where surro is legal. dunno if it's useful for yo but in ukraine they have good prices and all inclusive packages so you can save money on meds, hotel, food, taxi etc

    xx

  • thank you! I'm trying to be strong and to hope for the best, although sometimes it's not that easy. I notice that my dh only pretend to be calm but he worries so much and often stay at work till night in order to hide his feelings from me. He's upset and it makes me feel miserable.

    I'm sorry to know you also need to find a surrogate mother. It's our fate to fight forour children I guess. I know that Ukraine is popular place for infertility tx. Maybe we can try and find what is best for us together? We can contact different clinics and then discuss if their conditions are appropriate. If you've already did this, please share with me.

  • Hello hun! I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You're not alone with this! I have no uterus and I have no chance to carry a baby. But I'm so grateful there are places and people who can help us with our problem. We became parents via surrogacy. Our daughter Kristine was born in May 2015. We love her so much! I didn't carry her but this fact changes nothing.

    That was really hard to find good agency or clinic. There are so many scammers, who want to become rich, using poor people like us. There are even women, who pretend they want to be surrogates and then they get money and disappear. We faced such person. We thought we could save some money if we find sm. We’ve only wasted our time, nerves and money. So I would advise you look straight for a clinic.

    We decided to concentrate mostly on Europe. Ultimately we chose Ukrainian clinic biotexcom. Reviews were mostly positive and this clinic has high success rates. Though we had some doubts about their medicine, we decided to go there and check everything. Our concerns faded away when we talk to our doctor and program coordinator. We saw many couples there from all over the world. We had a translator so there were no misunderstandings at all.

    I liked that our clinic had fixed price for the procedure. We chose vip package for €49 900. There were also packages for lower prices. So we paid this only amount for everything. We were never asked to pay more. And also the sum was divided into 5 parts so we didn't have to pay the whole amount at once. In 2.5 months after our first visit our program coordinator contacted us and told us that they found surrogate mother for us. The clinic also helped us with documents for our daughter.

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