i hope i am not too old

[michell675]

Hello everyone! I am Tina! I have decided to create an account on this WEB-site to be able to communicate with women who have issues with their health similar to mine or are really supportive because honestly for the last 2 months I have had so many suicidal thoughts that I can’t even count. I know many of you can’t relate but I hope that I will get a piece of advice from someone here. I am actually planning to undergo fertility treatment but my country laws won’t let me do it. To be more precise it is only egg donation ivf treatment which is banned here where I live. Unfortunately so I will have to figure it out by myself, of course I have had enough of consultations to understand that I am no longer fertile. I am 49 years old. Yes, you may think that I am too old for this but I hope not, I hope that I will still am able to get help from some fertility centers but I am not sure. This is basically my story in a nutshell. The thing is that neither of my AMH lever nor my us picture of my ovaries is great. Everything is that bad. I am working here in Paris for like 3 years but I don’t think that it matters, I know that I am no longer suitable for the funded treatment in Britain so it is either USA or another accessible option in Europe.

Okay. That’s it. I will end my post on this note. Hope I will get some support here. Thank you guys!

[hkheer]

That’s really unfortunate that you have both amh level and us picture… too bad actually that you will definitely need a fertility treatment, for me actually it was very hard and painful experience, the puncture was done when I was sedated and actually when I remember the time when I was woken up by the manager it wasn’t the most pleasant experience of my life. But I am glad that they have managed to collect more than 8 eggs and out of them 3 have matured perfectly and they were even AA+ quality. Haha. I am glad that my clinic was fast to find and hire the surrogate mother, so we were matched like in 2 months. Anyways it wasn’t ivf tx but the surrogacy program (it is actually now) so I guess that I am not the one who will give you a piece of advice but maybe I can help. Good luck!

[michell675 in reply to hkheer]

Thank you for sharing honey! It was really kind of you. But you say you had a puncture procedure and that means that it is surrogacy on your own eggs? If that’s true than you have been like stimulated or something to be able to collect that many eggs? Is it a lot? Cos I don’t know actually, the thing is that I have never thought I would opt for the fertility treatment, because I have never thought that I will have kids in my life, honestly I didn’t want to have them at all till I have turn 45 or something. At that moment it was like a loud bell ringing in my head and I started to realize that I am no longer young and beautiful so I guess there is no chance to me to create a family rather than getting pregnant through ivf. And yes, my ovaries are empty and as I have read I don’t have a chance of getting pregnant on my own eggs…

[hkheer in reply to michell675]

How is your hubby doing? Or you want to pursue this fertility path on your own? Hmm… I am afraid it will be too hard to get through it on your own.. I mean, there are so many things that you can’t just decide on by yourself and you will have to get a piece of advice from someone with experience or something.. as for me it was so much easier to have a husband near me so I could rely on him if I wasn’t sure.

[michell675 in reply to hkheer]

Yes, on my own, completely on my own, I don’t have a man in my life anymore and yes, it is true, I am in my late 40 and single and want to go for the ivf tx. That may sound crazy I know. But I think that I can take care of myself and I can ask someone on forums, there are plenty of web-sites where I can get a free consultation from a doctor.. so I don’t think that I should worry about getting through the tx on my own.

[Fareena1904 in reply to hkheer]

Hi Hkheer, sorry to interfere in Michelle & your conversation. I just had a miscarriage😢. My situation is my Amy & eggs etc are all good for my age doctors were impressed said like a 35 year old. Had FET transfer quality of embryo was good. But don’t understand why not hold. I have had lining issues in the past.

Can you please let me know which country you are based in when had surrogacy? X

[katherineangel]

But it is not like you have to have a man with you to be accepted into ivf program or something, I don’t know if there is any like rule for ivf programs. And in my situation it;d be even better if I had no one with me so I wouldn’t feel so betrayed when my ex-husband left me with a newborn in my hands. So I think that man aren’t capable of understanding a true woman’s emotion when she is undergoing something this invasive as ivf tx.

[michell675 in reply to katherineangel]

But I think that I can handle it on my own, I just need to make sure that I will be accepted into feriltiy tx in another country different from my home one. Because from what I know I can’t be funded by nhs anymore so it’s either I wait for months to be able to find the donor or I pay a lot for the faster option but in USA. Too bad we don’t have something in between..

[katherineangel in reply to michell675]

Sure you can and I think that it is possible for me too, but remembering all of the struggles I had while getting my tx done. It is shameful but I even screamed when they were taking my blood, because it took a lot of time for the nurses to find the vein and when they finally did find it, it was really painful to lay there for the time they were taking my blood. And also I am really afraid of injections and it was a challenge for me.

PS there is an option in between, I am from US and I have been getting my tx in Europe.

[michell675 in reply to katherineangel]

Oh my god, how did you get through that? How did you manage to do your stimulation (btw what was your tx?), because I know that you have to do lots of injections in your belly and stff.

Really? And how much did you pay for it and how fast did the clinic match the donor for you?

[katherineangel in reply to michell675]

It wasn’t that easy as you can imagine, but I have used the services of nurses at home, so they have been making those injections. For it I had to ask the manager to send me a prescription so I was able to go to the clinic near me and ask them to help me with those injections. I have heard that it is not that painful but for me it was, my ex couldn’t help me either but it is a completely different story.

The whole tx was 4900 euros and we were the ones who have chosen the donor and she was matched in 2 days 9they simply had to check if she is available).

[72cloud9]

There are several ladies on this site that are chasing this dream on their own with donor egg & donor sperm so hopefully they will make contact with u if they see your post. We can't always wait for the right man to come along! And us women are strong nowadays to do things on our own if we need to. At 49 u can still do this but I think most clinics stop at 50 or soon after so if you r sure u want to do this u probably need to act quite quickly!

Spain or Greece are very popular choices and most clinics are very used to dealing with overseas patients so can co-ordinate the whole thing very well for you. In these countries donation is anonymous.if you did it in the UK it is slightly more expensive but not anonymous so at 18 your child can obtain more info about the donors if the wish!

Good luck with ur journey xxx

[Mel77]

Well, I agree there is no time to wait more. And not because of your age but that you'll enjoy nursing more being younger. We went on with Ukrainian Biotexcom clinic, it has no age limits. Quite attractive offers - it's definitely worth looking at. You may visit eviternity.org for more info. They offer free consultations in London with their international patient coordinator.

Good luck with your further decision and treatment.

[Emmaxxx]

Hi Hun. This thread is an interesting read! North Cyprus will definitely treat you! They are amazing and have so many options available for you. If you want their name drop me a message xx

[Bluelady-sing]

Would have to be an egg donor

[GPmum]

Hi, first of all please don't be despair to the level of having suicidal thoughts cos there are solutions to have kids and I'm also exploring them as I'm now 42.5 and the RE in Belgium who is more experienced than my RE in the country I'm living in continental Europe said that by the time I'm 43 better not to use my eggs cos it's just wasting money.

Since you're working in EU well France, are you covered by France's national health system by any chance? Cos if you do, maybe you can be covered by France's national health system to go to better IVF clinics in EU e.g. Greece, Spain, (these 2 you have to google cos I forgot the names I'm afraid but they're top 10 IVF clinics in the world I think), Belgium (e.g. UZ Brussels, Life Expert Centre) etc. It can be Greece and Spain may be cheaper than e.g. Belgium even though I never asked.

I think egg donation is possible at least in Belgium and Greece if I'm not mistaken, and so of course sperm donation is possible, maybe even embryo donation but where I'm not sure.

Surrogacy is possible in Greece but since there are less women who are willing to be surrogate than those who need, it's advised to ask a younger female family member to be surrogate, also in Belgium. Ukraine allows surrogacy by its law for a fee.

Then of course last option is adoption, even though I know it's not for everyone. We're considering it as last resort cos my hubby is against any donation so either egg, sperm nor embryo so that's why.

And don't be afraid to go thru it alone. After the last 2 embryo transfers so during 2ww, I had dispute with my hubby sometimes and these stressed me out to the point I was afraid I'd lose the embryo and I agree with what another member said above that men don't really understand what we go thru that sometimes they aren't much of help in times

The community here is here to help you and other members, so positive vibe and baby dust to you for your journey and bonne courage!

[GPmum in reply to GPmum]

Oh yes, forgot to include Czech too for well known IVF clinic i.e. in the top 10 but I don't know if it'd do egg etc donation or surrogacy, I'd assume the former yes cos I imagine there are single women or gay couples who'd need such donation.