Hello everyone. I have been to this forum for some time already, and have even chosen the clinic for my fertility treatment but I am actually do not know whether to pursue this route as someone says or not. I am completely scared and do not know how to calm down. I know that this forum is for women who struggle with infertility and I am one of you too but I can’t make myself find the courage to start the treatment because it is too scary I do not know. If I agree to the tx I will be heading to another country for it and flying there makes me really nervous. On top of that I know nothing about ivf tx and how it goes exactly, all I have been given is some stories of the women I do not know and can’t judge how close to the reality their descriptions are. I am not a descriptive person at all and when I am asked something I will give an answer based on my personal experience and even I can say that it I really subjective and I can’t trust for 100% the reviews and commentaries I have seen on the internet. Or at least I think like that, but maybe I am wrong…
How to overcome this? How to stop being scared going to the fertility clinic and finally starting the tx that I have been postponing for so long I can’t even count the time…
Thanks
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holeeen
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Hi holeeen - I think it's great that you've posted this because I honestly think the women on this site can help. First of all it's 100% natural to feel anxious and scared ahead of treatment. Before you start it's a scary concept with lots of unknowns. Before we started our treatment I was really worried about how it was going to affect us, how much it would hurt, how it would affect our day to day lives. What I realised after staring treatment was that it's nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. Once we got our meds the excitement took over and the hope that it brings carries you through. For me and my husband it brought us even closer which I am very thankful for as this helped when things didn't go our way.
The truth is you can read many stories, blogs, watch the videos and listen to the doctors but until you're up and running that anxiety is probably not going to subside. In order to address this a little, if it is having a big impact on you, I would recommend speaking to your GP about your anxiety or trying something like yoga, meditation or acupuncture to help alleviate your stresses about the process.
I fully understand your anxiety around flying, I'm such a baby when it comes to that! But I do tell myself that my thoughts are irrational and we're perfectly safe (doesn't help when I'm in the air though!). Maybe try some Rescue Remedy or something similar to help you relax?
Do you know what treatment you're having? I'm sure whatever it is the lovely ladies here will have been through it and can talk you through the process but please try not to worry too much, we've all been through it and we've all get to the other side, many with their babas at the end Lots of luck for your treatment x x x
Oh my god! thank you so much for your kind words! I am so touched by your comment, you did spend a lot of time replying me and it made me feel so much more relieved. i can't even describe it to you. thank you!!!
Yes, I will be having ivf de due to my pcos condition, unfortunately I have been unable to get my fertility boosted with the treatment and have to use donor eggs in order to get pregnant. I know that this tx will make my relationship with my hubby even stronger because fortunately I was able to somehow calm down (yes, yes) for last week because of my hubby taking care about me.
Thank you again. I am sure that I will find here a lot of understanding people like you are! xoxo
Hello! We have all been here honey and I can understand you it takes a lot of courage to make the first step but then again you will not regret when you begin the journey. I have been using services of the foreign reproduction center too and it was so stressful at first time I can’t even explain though I am sure you would understand. Being in another country for the first time and not for a simple reason but to get a baby, to undergo a treatment it sounds really traumatizing but in reality it is not. You will be left with this hope that everything will be just great and your tx will end successfully with you holding your little baby in your hands. And it is what will happen if you choose to start the fertility journey. You know what may help you to overcome this fear is maybe getting a blog on the internet. Perhaps it is what you need – to document your life and potentially get some advices when you have problems or anything.
Thank you! You are too kind! Blog on the internet about my fertility issues? But isn’t it too far? I am afraid that some people won’t tolerate my writing and my problems and I have never seen before the blogs considering infertility and the treatment though on youtube there are a lot of couples who are filming their life and even their procedures. But I find kind of unflattering or something… it makes me feel better because I can actually know that I am not alone with my issues and everything but I do not have a lot of courage to share with the world what I am nervous about etc.
Where have you been getting you tx? Can you be more precise, how did you manage to just go with it? How?
Because I had to do that. There was not a question whether I will do that or not. I had to because it was a time and I really wanted to have a kid, so just starting the treatment was really easy for me. I was not thinking about how it will be (I am talking about the transfer) but rather than that I thought about my future child and how I will treat him with the best things this world can give us, humans. Maybe you should concentrate in the main goal you want to pursue – your future kid! I do not know why you are infertile and that does not matter at all though for some of us it could be a huge pushing point that won’t give another choice rather than get up, buy tickets and fly to the clinic. I had to choose mine because I was not able to pay for the tx in my country so we were heading to the clinic in Europe. But that was not stressful to me, for me the most stressful thing I have been dealing with was my infertility, everything else does not have that power at all.
I know that it is the only possible option to me. My sister was really lucky with her pregnancy. She has 1 kidney and as I found out it is really risky to have kids with only one kidney but she could. Unlike me. Also I want kids so badly that I really cannot describe it because it is more like a trauma to me, watching kids playing on the streets.. it seems like a common problem of infertile women.. I am praying to get the tx to be able to step it up and achieve my dream.
Well, good luck to you! I will be praying for you! It is hard only at the beginning and with every single day you will feel better and better. It is only a fear. Go ahead hun!
Thank you so much, you are so so so sweet! I will be taking an action and I have already overcome this stupid fear. I did talk to someone who have been to the clinic I am opting for before. and she explained be in more detailed way all the procedures and etc she has been getting. I am not getting my courage to write the clinic. I hope that everything works out!.
Why are you scared of writing to the clinic? Isn't it the normal thing when it comes to contacting the agency or something? They are open for all of the couples all over the world and you are just overanalyzing things I assume because it just takes you one thing to write - write. stop with being scared and all that jazz. Xoxo
Don't be so nervous hun! You just have to try! Write them and write us back when you send the letter because I actually want to know what is your conversation will be like (not in a creepy way) to show you that your fears are just like the balloons and it takes that much to pop them!
Thank you for your words, I can't be thankful enough for the support I am getting here! I have actually written them and I had to wait for their response for about 30 minutes and I didn’t think that I will get it so fast so I was shocked at first but then I have managed to recollect myself and I did replied them back, now I am waiting for the more specific infos. They are pretty quick I must say and very very kind.
Congrats on your achievement hun! I know how hard it was for you and can't contain my joy when reading your reply! also what did they actually say about you and your future treatment? when are you going to the clinic? and where are you getting the tx if not a secret?
I remember myself , I was so nervous back in the days when only looking for the fertility center but it went really easy and I am now getting my dream come true!
I agree with everything that has been said already and I have this question why make your experience even harder and go with the clinic abroad when you can get ivf done basically anywhere and at any time?
Hi! Because I can’t get it done in my home country and as I have been advised there are some more affordable clinics in the world. I won’t have to wait for the donor for so long and I will be getting the tx to start as quickly as possible because it is how it works at the clinic I am choosing.
But if you are so sure that the clinic is good, why being afraid? Though your fears are totally reasonable and everything it still makes no sense to be scared of the treatment if the clinic you have found is that good?
I am scared of the treatment itself and it is actually has nothing to do with the clinic just with the fact that I will be a lot more nervous when travelling abroad.
I think it is worth it… yes, yes, it’s definitely worth it. And by talking about it I am getting really used to this thought that I will be travelling to Ukraine for the treatment done. Because from what I know they are really good at doing ivf here and even on this forum I have found some commentary about them. Though it is only my impression and as I have told I cannot be sure that it is 100% truth.
I will be needing ivf de treatment and I am really scared of the protocol I will be obliged to undergo. I do not know exactly what it means but as I have been told by the women who have undergone this kind of a tx they said that this protocol consists of a lot of medicine pills gels etc. and I will have to take all of that for about a month or something and take the us pictures to make sure the protocol works. And it is what I fear the most it’s what happens next. The embryo transfer. How will it be performed what I will feel, how to be? There are so many rules to follow and I do not even know how to not violate them because if I do something stupid like drinking coffee or something I could potentially lose a baby.. that’s really scary.. I am not sure I am suitable for this kind of a tx..
It is a really nerve racking experience but a lot of women have been there and made it alive and with kids so do not worry!
I think you have to understand what the treatment is all about maybe watch some videos on youtube to have a picture in your head, or maybe go to some seminars they have been making for a while now?
Also what scares you actually? Maybe we could get over it together? Xo’s
I have been sitting on youtube for some time watching all kinds of different videos considering ivf tx and I know how it can be performed and how women say they feel after the tx but I have not actually seen how the transfer is done and what women do after it. Because I only know the theory or something and nothing more.
I understand you totally and have this advice for you. Write to your clinic or the clinic you want to choose for the treatment and demand the complete explanation of the tx. They will be giving you that I guess. And in lots of clinic you have the free first initial consultation where you can ask whatever you want.
That’s a great idea, thanks! I wanted to write them really bad but unfortunately I thought that it would be out of place.. some women here says that their clinics were not responding to them fast enough and even were rude sometimes. Even though they are talking about other countries and everything I still think that it may be a tough experience…
Yes, that's true. but i am not familiar with all the ways of possible communication with the clinic's management and writing them will do nothing because i have to see the personal in the clinic and the clinic itself but how to do that? i'd have to manage the appt with the clinic in before and for that appt i would have to sign the contract, no?
Can you say which one it is, because I am getting my tx in one Ukrainian clinic and if we match with our clinics I could help you with some tips and advice. Just casually asking if you are not against receiving some piece of advice.
Im going abroad next month for Ivf and am also nervous. I found what has helped me is talking to girls that are actually out there at the moment having treatment or have had it they can give you a true insight of it all. Facebook is a lifeline as I found groups on there with pictures and 'real' ladies going through all this abroad at the country and clinic we chose.
I picked our clinic / Country hotel and treatment all from the recommendation from girls that are doing it or having it and so I know its ok. I hear only good things from them.
I have had an NHS round in the UK so I guess I have an idea what to expect but what you are feeling is totally normal. - i was bricking it on our first round in the UK but in all honesty it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be as in physically. Mentally its hard especially of course if it doesnt work.
Best advise I have is talk to us on here. listen to their experiences and recommendations they are the experts more so than the doctors sometimes as they are the ones going through it!!
Good luck with your tx!! yes, i totally agree with you on this. it is definitely the thing that should be done like to pm some of the girls who actually recommend you the clinic or just give you the advices and to have an actual conversation about the treatment because i feel like not everything can be said here and not everyone will want to share with that many people their life stories. also what do you mean by saying "real"? Thanks
So I do not understand that.. will I have to get another consultation with the dr or what? Or you are implying that I have to prove that I am suitable for ivf. Actually I hear it for the first time..
i just meant real ladies as in actual people going through treatment rather then hearing about someones sister or friend from a third person. Better to hear from the horses mouth!
Oh, that's what you meant. Yes, you are right, but there are a lot on the forum, no? women like you've mentioned.
I would like to have a friend in real life, but it is not easy to find those women in real life like I mean I would have to spend a lot of time in order to have a meet up or something.
You also mentioned above that you have been talking to someone like privately if i am not mistaken. i think that that was a great piece of advice. Because you never know, maybe someone does talk from their friends perspective or just do not want to share with the whole world their private issues and by writing them in pm s you are making sure that this person has the right advice for you.
This is the truth, when sitting on the forum we all prefer to benefit from anonymity but when it comes to the actual advice most of the people will get up and tell you everything you need, and that’s why some of us and maybe a lot of us I do not know manage to have the success in their lives. And I am really thankful to be on the forum, between the people like you.
People are actually like that and your fear hurts them a lot, you are scared of what? that the clinic won’t answer you or will deny your application? I mean come on, we have to accept that there are sometimes failure but such as the mentioned ones are not the ones to think about at all. there are a lot of clinics and a lor of people in the world. i know that saying this is too late but you seemed like really crashed by the necessity to write to the clinic and i have the right words only for the moment..
Thanks! Yes, you are right I am not that scared anymore though I am worried a bit. But it was definitely something like that and I am really grateful that I have managed to find the best clinic in the world because I really feel that I am taken care of! When I have only been writing the first message to them I was really worried that I won’t get the response I wanted but I guess I was wrong.
I get that, thanks. I wrote to the clinic and now I am getting all the needed information. i am thankful for all the support i have been getting on the forum and thanks to you i have managed to write the clinic i have chosen!! you are the best girls! I am thinking about the future appointment and how it will be provided as the manager of my clinic has told me about every single detail I needed to know.
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Lots of luck for your treatment x x x 
Am I a horrible person
Am I being over sensitive?
Advice? Am I in the wrong?
Scared I messed up
*Sensitive post. 3rd and final round of IVF, aged 42. Just received first positive pregnancy test ever and i am delighted but so scared. 
