I’m 39 and having to have ivf with a donor as my partner has azoospermia. We’ve had two rounds which didn’t go very well at all, the first 7 eggs retrieved with 5 mature. All fertilised with icsi but only 1 made it to blastocyst and was only a 3bc and didn’t take. My second round was pretty disastrous, 13 eggs collected, 11 mature, 8 fertilised again by icsi but only one made it to day 5 and hadn’t reached blastocyst. We opted to try a transfer even though the embryologist said it will likely be a poor outcome.
am I too old to use my own eggs? I don’t seem to get any answers from my clinic and the costs are crippling. My husband wants to give up, it’s so frustrating as I don’t drink or smoke and have a normal BMI so I don’t know what else I can do. I tried some of the supplements in the book “it starts with the egg” but that seemed to make it worse!
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Lucyann13
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I’m 39 too and started round 3 this week. I see people with Ivf success into their 40s, so no I don’t think you are too old.
The decision if you want to continue is a different matter and much more personal to you.
I do think trying to make sense of all this will drive you mad. I worked in drug services and saw lots of women accidentally pregnant with various addictions and chaotic life styles, some into their 40s.
Yet people going through ivf worry about whether the chemicals in hand soap will damage our eggs, eat healthily, don’t smoke or drink and struggle to make a decent blastocyst.
I’m sorry you are in this position too and hope the best no matter what you decide to do.
Definitely not too old! My successful round EC was a few days before my 40th birthday. Do you know how many blastos you had a day 3? As if the drop off happens before it may be your eggs whereas after it’s more likely the sperm. Have you used the same sperm donor both times? Do you know why they did ICSI with a sperm donor? Xx
It was the same sperm, I’m not sure why, they’ve only ever given me the option of icsi so I had assumed that was normal. Apparently it’s worked for another person before. None of them made it to blastocyst but at day 3 they started to fragment.
I haven’t used a sperm donor so not sure how common it is to use ICSI as standard with donors. ICSI is usually for when there are sperm motility problems, which is why it seems odd to me as donor sperm should be tip top! I would suggest trying a different sperm donor before the rigmarole of donor eggs. And maybe check why they were doing ICSI xx
I think ICSI is quite standard with donor sperm it’s what my clinic do unless you ask them not to 🤗 think they said to use ICSI with sperm that’s been frozen so not sure if it’s the frozen part or the donor part but apparently the standard approach xx
I used a sperm Donor and ICSI was required. (Not always but was for this one). It was successful for me and for 7 other families apparently. I was anxious at beginning as to why it was needed too but chances are still good maybe even better as each individual egg is injected? Wish you lots of luck for next attempt x
I am using a sperm donor and we had to use icsi, they said it’s not uncommon, when the sample thaws out it doesn’t always have optimal quality from the freeze so they prefer to select the strongest sperm. That’s my understanding as I also questioned this. Best of luck
I am 39 too but after many attempts have failed me and my husband decided to go for double donor whenever we decide to,hopefully for us things change and we get healthy pregnancy to term.
This is very personal choice and I hope you get your answers and decide what is best to you.
I’m not sure what it is but the clinic just told me it was fine for my age. Everything else is normal apart from a fibroid which isn’t in a problematic position.
Maybe have a discussion with your clinic about anything you haven't already tried, donner eggs could be an option or change in medication? My first two rounds were similar, 7 collected 1st time non made it blastocyst, 6 second time using icsi only one made it to blastocyst and was poor quality didn't stick. Clinc said it was poor egg quality suggested using donner eggs but we got NHS funding so decided to try one last time with my eggs. Started coq10 300mg 3 times a day a few months before starting and used testosterone gel during stims got 19 eggs this time 14 fertilised with icsi had grade 5aa transfer and have had 2 grade bs and 4 grade Cs frozen. Not sure of it was the coq10, testosterone gel or my just my mind set as I was much more relaxed and chilled about it this time no watching what I was eating etc just living my life.
Wow that’s fantastic! My clinic wouldn’t let me use anything more than 200mcg of co-enzyme q10 as they said it negatively affects egg quality which is totally the opposite of everything I have read. Did you use the same medication for stims?
That's strange my clinc advised me to take 300mg of coq10 3 times a day. The consultant did say there's not much research into so it's more a suggestion that could help rather than proven medical evidence. Yes I was 300ui of overleap and 150ui of meriofert same as second cycle, but this time after monitoring scans they dropped me to 150 of each a few days before collection. Also given lubion for after transfer this time as my period came before test day in my last cycle.
Thank you, it’s such a game of trial and error, I’m wondering if the height dose of menopur I was on caused a decline in quality but there’s no real way of knowing.
I am afraid there is no clear answer. You are not too old because plenty of 39 year old women conceive naturally and have healthy babies and it's not considered a miracle when it happens.
However once you are in the IVF world the main thing you hear is maternal age and egg quality affecting the outcome.
I am the same age as you and the doctors have said that I have "suboptimal " or "average to poor" performance for embryo quality.
After four rounds I had some blastocysts but all poor to average quality and never a positive test. When I ask what is the reason, like you I don't get an answer. Age is mentioned but in general terms (you are born with all your eggs, by the age of 35 ...etc) so nothing to specify why in my case age is an issue but in plenty other women of my age it isn't.
It would be interesting to know the statistics of natural conception vs ivf for women our age.
It’s infuriating isn’t it. I do think if I was able to try naturally it may not be an issue but unfortunately that’s not available to us which is so frustrating. Most people can try every month whereas I can only try when I can afford £7000. 😞
You're not too old. I'm 45 and with you in this hell 😂 Take your time to make whatever decisions you need to make, but reframe your 'I'm too old' narrative- I know it and it takes you down a bad road where suddenly everything feels pointless. So you are never too old....you're just at a stage in your life 😁 xx
39 when had my little boy and trying for sibling now at 40 definitely not too old! Sounds like it’s worth a chat with clinic to see why they think the drop off is happening as you are getting a good number of mature eggs each round. My clinic has suggested next round they push me to the max to get more eggs collected with plan to freeze all (last round got 7mature, 6 fertilised and 3 blasts- double transfer failed) we are using donor sperm. I think I need to chat to then a bit more around why they think that will be better 🤔 it’s all so individual but I’d probably try a different donor if they suggest it’s anything sperm related as worth a shot! We changed donor and got our little boy …. Can’t really change now though as want any sibling to have same donor xx
Hello lovely. Soo sorry to hear about your journey. My husband and I started TTC at 39 and after four failed rounds of IVF we opted for a donor egg and I got pregnant first time. Many women get pregnant after 39 and unfortunately many don’t. You and your partner need to decide how many rounds you’re willing to try and also discuss what other options you would try. I would highly recommend donor eggs and wish we had made the move sooner. Whatever you decide I wish you lots of luck x
You are definitely not too old. I am 45 with a 5 month old daughter. I had a huge drop off in numbers as well. The round prior to my successful round, I had no blastocysts to freeze.
The cost of IVF certainly can make your eyes water. All the best 🙏🏾
They said it was the sperm but this never made any sense to me as my hubby’s sperm was retrieved surgically and was used for several rounds. We did use 2 vials of sperm for the successful round just in case. I also pushed for a day 3 transfer for the round that worked as I would have been bitterly disappointed if we had no embryos to transfer.
The thing that made sense to me is that IVF is unpredictable We were on exactly the same protocol and the sperm was from the one procedure so I cannot say for sure what made the difference.
Well my IVF was 39yrs but it didn't work. I was very unwell on treatment. Perhaps 39/42yrs is your ability to look after a small child and then there's the child becoming a adult, time you might be useful as a grandmother and alive. Good luck!
Absolutely not too old at all!! I'm 39 and pregnant with my own eggs and its my 3rd I have friends who have got pregnant naturally and who are older in early 40's and there babies are fine and healthy.
I had my 3 rd IVF when I was 39 and lucky ti have my son . Had 5 eggs only 1 was survived to day 5 . Please read a book called it’s start from egg . Some of the life style changes would help .
Not too old..lots of women are trying above this age. I'm 43 and still going. Have you tried diff donor..as could be that rather than your eggs. We stress so much but I have read that it can be the sperm that takes over after 3 days so if embroyo doesnt progress it can be the sperm x
Definitely not too old. I had my youngest baby who is now 5 months old at 40! Naturally. Women can and do have healthy babies in their 40s. Good luck Xx
Hi, I am the same age as you and have been told my only option is donor eggs. We had one private round of IVF and they collected a grand total of 1 egg…it sounds like there is still a good chance for you. I did everything like you, read all the books, even tried herbal things from other Countries. I know it’s hard, but you’ve still got a few good years 🙌🏻
To be honest everyone is individual- you can find women aged 48 getting pregnant but others aged 38 struggling.
I think the reality is you need to speak to your clinic about other options and protocols. It may just be they haven’t found the right one for you yet. A 3bc isn’t a bad embryo (best I ever got!) so there’s still hope. But I would definitely have a Frank conversation with your clinic and get their advice on things.
Two rounds isn’t a lot to write yourself off, I moved to donor after six xx
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