This is more a post to say that the 2ww is horrible and i need a vent - We are on our second attempt at icsi and I am 10dpt .. and then this morning I woke up with the start of what seems like a period. It has just been the worst feeling in the world. We know that this is the last time that we want to pursue fertility - we have decided that we want to move forward after this no matter what happens but at the end of the day, we still need to wait and we still need to accept what is going to happen.
I know that everyone says that i need to wait and just see.. it might be implantation bleed and you never know.. maybe both eggs didn't take but maybe one did.. and I really want to try and find some positiveness in this whole thing, but I can't seem to figure out how.
feeling very numb and lost in this wait.. cause this unknown of waiting to find out if my period is actually coming or not is even worse than just getting thru a day waiting.. at least that is what this feels like.
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islesview
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its so hard.. i am impressed with our ability to go and do all of this - deal with the hormones and all that. i just... yah.. well you know how i am feeling if you have gone thru this twice already. best of luck with your next cycle
It really is awful. I feel like i breezed my way through ivf. Then got to the 2 week wait and it was horrible. When it failed in the end I felt I needed another plan of action but now I'm almost scared to do another cycle at the thought of those awful 2 weeks again . Good luck! ! Are you bleeding? Xx
the first time was hard just dealing with it all - i had to take almost a year off to try again. i wasn't feeling that great for the first week as i was waiting for the same fail day as last time.. then this time a few more days passed and i thought.. ooh this might be it, I started to get a little more hopeful... I still haven't started the "official bleed" but i am having two days now of the discharge, which I know can be a sign that implantation has happened - but it just is too hard to think that way.
So i continue with pessaries.. and I continue to just have a little bit of hope i guess... it is such a rollercoaster ride.
as for doing it again - we decided that we had to. Knowing that the first time likely is a fail, we felt that giving it another go, meant we really tried. If it is time for us to move forward without children, then both of us will know that we tried.
Make sure you take time to heal and when you are ready, you will know what to do next.
Did you have a 3 or 5 day transfer? I had a 5 day transfer and had bleeding 5dp5dt through to 8dp5dt, then I got a positive result 10dp5dt on a frer. How much bleeding is there and what colour is it? Mine wasn't heavy enough for a pad but was bright red which panicked me xxx
we had a 2day transfer. We had 3 eggs and then only 2 fertilised so they thought best to just get them right back into me. it is all still brown in colour so i know that means that anything is possible at the moment and I have to think that anything is possible... I just have to keep on hoping a little bit.. I need to wear a pad cause of the marks it would make. We are now on day 11 and it hasn't gotten any worse yet...
That sounds promising then as I was bleeding around the same time as you in terms of embryo age! My embryo would have been 10 days old when I bled and bled until it was 13 days old, you have had brown discharge when your embryo was 12 days old 😊 When is your test day? Xxx
can i ask - did it feel like cramps every so often? Do you remember? I am still having some discharge but it isn't going any further than that at the moment. The cramps haven't really come on yet .. but then you over analyze everything and i can't tell if this is more or less
I will just keep trying.. thanks for your support - nice to have someone explain things
test day is saturday.. don't know if I can test earlier??
I tested two days early with a first response and got a positive, then CB digital the next morning and got positive. I had cramping on and off throughout the 2ww... So take it as a good sign! Don't forget if you are using the pessaries vaginally these can irritate your cervix and cause some discharge/bleeding so try not to worry xxx
okay... well i don't want to get a little more hopeful.. but so far i am two days of discharge and no bleed yet.. you have been really helpful with all the information - so anything else you can share please do! i now just keep waiting..
the discharge is not increasing..which i also think is something to think on the positive side with
If you tested 2 days early, then I would be able to test come friday morning. and then go to work??? otherwise saturday.. and just get to be home?? not sure which one is better
well that is it officially.. not that i have tested.. but i have had a full day of period. So.. this i our process over and now we move on.. we adjust.. we figure it out.. we take it easy. thanks for the support
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Struggling with decisions
In the 2ww
The madness of the 2ww
feeling so alone in this journey and need support 
