Who can be accepted into ivf?

Hi all! I have been meaning to ask this for a month already, but… does ivf treatment hurt a lot? I am as you can tell new to this world and haven’t had the experience at all. My husband says that it is not going to be that painful, that I will be 100% sedated and all but I will undergo the surgery right? And if it is surgery I can tell that it will hurt.. although when I tell that to my dh he says that I am a bit stupid and should go and read about this fertility treatment a bit more than to bother him with my fears.

And I have this question, do I have to have some condition to be accepted into the tx? Or they accept everyone? I am opting for ivf on donor’s eggs but we live in Strasburg and here it is impossible to do. So my question will be is there any difference in treating the patients if they are foreigners in the clinic?

And how to even find the clinic to begin with??

Okay, I think that I will stop here and will wait for some replies.

Thank you.

23 Replies

  • Hello. No, the ivf tx does not particularly differ from country to country. But there’re some differences that influence your choice when you are in search for the clinic. Like the ability to choose a donor or the price of the treatment, also the country itself. Because believe it or not there are people who may choose the clinic judging by the popularity of the country it locates in.

    But I suppose that everywhere you can be accepted into the tx without having any condition. But to be quite honest I do not think that someone will go for it just because. It is painful, I do not know what your husband thinks but it is. You will be sedated and you will have to control your nutrition and sex life afterwards just to allow the embryo to grow nicely. Also there are women who were diagnosed with unexpected infertility and I suppose this is what bothers you, right? If so, do not worry you will get into tx easily.

  • Thank you. That’s what I thought. I am too scared of going for it but my dh says that there is no other choice… No. I can get pregnant and I have been through an abortion 3 years ago that’s the issue.. My husband says that he wants a beautiful heir, he says that his family will not accept a child that does not correspond to their picture of the ideal grandchild. That’s why I am opting for ivf tx.

    So I do not have to worry that they will decline my candidature to get the donor’s egg? But how do I find the clinic?

  • What? Your husband sends you to the clinic just because he doesn’t want his child to be ugly or something? I am sorry but I hear this for the first time in my life and can’t make myself believe what I am reading. This is just impossible to understand, how come someone can be so heartless? Fertility treatment is fine when it is necessary but if you can have and carry a baby you should do it yourself. He basically steals from you the only thing you have – the ability to become a mother. How dare he?? And your abortion it was..?

  • But I love him and I would do everything what he wants.. No, I did the abortion at the time when I was not ready ti become a mother.. please do not assume that my hubby is some kind of a devil or something. I know that he loves me the way I am and I completely understand his desire to have beautiful kids. This is something I can’t give to him so I must undergo the tx.

  • Clearly he does not care about you if he demands you to have kids from the girl you will not have the chance to know.. You will undergo the tx, it will be painful and the strangest thing to me is that you understand that! Maybe you should reconsider it and try and convince your new family of giving you the right and the chance of delivering your baby? By yourself? Not using someone’s eggs? I by no means try to pressure you into something but just think about it again.

  • What? You say that you are opting for the tx just because your dh told you so, because he doesn’t think that you will be able to deliver healthy and beautiful kids? Kids are kids, they are the flowers of our life and to even consider them as beautiful or ugly it doesn’t take a lot of brains, right? I think that all of the kids are angels, you shall not obey to what your husband says because he is wrong.

  • The problem here is not even in his mindset that he wants to have a beautiful child but with that that we would rather his lovely wife to undergo the ivf tx than to accept her beauty and to have kids from her… This is just something unacceptable to me. I would just brake up with a person like he is.

  • Girls I know that this is something you wouldn’t want to accept but I beg you to do so. Because we have to support her because we are the only ones who can give it to her. I think that she is opting for it for a reason and to tell her that her husband is evil is not something what she needs. I think that we should accept everything and everyone. If it is her own decision than why not to give her an advice or two. We can help her make her ivf tx easier and not that scary. So she will be thankful to get all of the support we offer her.

  • Thank you, but I myself doubt whether it is a good idea. My hubby I know he wishes the best to me but he says that we should have a son till 2018 and I basically do not have time to think about it.. I do not even know how it is even possible to command the clinic to get me a boy..

  • In my clinic we did the pgd test to know the gender of our babies. We said that we want twins and two boys. And voila!

    I am sorry but this is not something I would tolerate, it was first of all my initiative to go for it, even though I had nothing to do with the tx but my dh. I think that he is hurrying too much. Can I ask you about your age, honey?

  • The clinic you can find on the special websites with clinics’ ratings. Or if you want to have my advice I will advise you to the fertility center where I have been getting the tx. They accept everyone so you do not have to worry. The puncture can be painful but you won’t feel anything if it is done right. So don’t worry.

  • Hi. Thank you for replying me! What are those websites are? Can you share the link to one of them if you have?

    Sure I will be glad to receive a piece of advice from someone with the experience.

  • you can search for eggdonations web site there you can found lists of clinics by countries. I do not know if it is comfortable or easy but I know that lots of people leave their reviews on the clinics there and you can read and form your own opinion.

    I would advise you to look for Ukrainian clinics, they provide cheaper tx than anywhere else and I hvae been to one myself.

  • As you have been advised you will be accepted no matter what but you will have to undergo some tests (blood, karypotype etc) so the drs will see if it is safe to provide you with the tx. If it’s all okay than you will be able to get the baby through ivf. And in some clinics they do give you the chance to choose the donor if you want. But not everywhere, so you have to be careful when choosing the clinic.

  • Thank you! So I can choose the donor in the particular fertility centers? Do you know where they provide with such an option? Maybe in US?

  • In US they do, but if the donor chooses to be anonymous you will not get to see the girl. But you can try. Although not only in US you will be able to use this option. If you want my opinion there are a lot cheaper clinics in the world with the same services as in those of US. I wouldn’t hurry and get into the tx in US if I was you, I’d look deeper.

  • Okay, thanks. I have been told that there are numerous sites where I can get more info on the clinic to choose so I guess I will look there and live US as a reserved option. But what are those services you are talking about? Can you be more precise on what I will have to look for when looking for the clinic?

  • Hm, you need to see for yourself, but for me the main points in choosing the clinic is the price, the speed of the matching etc, the ability to see/know the donor, the popularity of the clinic among the internet users and also the stuff. Like when I am contacting the clinic I need to see if they are professionals or not.

    I was talking about pgd testing.

  • Top 10 Crappy Things They Don't Tell You About IVF | Mama Deux / Two Mamas

    Have a look on Google for this blog or on my profile.

    You husband has no idea honey, he never will💕💕💕💕

  • Thanks for sharing! That will definitely be helpful to me. Because I can't find myself a place I am too worried and scared.

    Of course he won't even know how hard it will be for me but the thing is he is the only one who wants me to go for ivf tx... I do not..

  • Hon.

    If you don't want to don't. It's the worst thing I've ever been through. Wouldn't wish it on worst enemy.

    You both need to really want it and be there for one another 100%

    It's just too hard otherwise

  • It is your body going through it and if you are not comfortable with any of it - don't do it. It is your choice too x

  • I think there needs to be a genetic reality check here .... no one can guarante beauty. What happens if the child 'disappoints'? I recognise the need to support everyone here but it would be remiss of us to not also point out the likely abusive nature if your relationship. This very much sounds like coercive, controlling behaviour .... there is help and support out there for you. You are not alone and should not feel like this is a reasonable request - it isn't. Fertility should not/can not be a pawn in your relationship, there are welfare of the child issues here you have to take into account. I reccomend strongly counselling is needed for you both before you start this journey

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