Scared to test on OTD

Tomorrow is my OTD, but I am so scared to test. This is the 3rd round and have no Frosties left. Normally I hate the ‘not knowing’ but this time I’m actually content with the unknown as it means I still have hope.

I know that I have to test, but I’m not ready to deal with the result. Sure it could be positive, but equally it may be negative and I have no idea how to deal with that again. I’m so worried I’ve felt sick most of the day. The thought of going through another fresh cycle is so daunting. I really don’t know how some of you lovely amazing women go through it multiple times, you’re all so brave!

21 Replies

  • Hey Carrie,

    Completely understand this! I was exactly the same with my 3rd round.

    First time I tested right through, did again second time and third time I was terrified. Like you I just felt like I'd rather not know than know.

    Sadly, we have to test as hard as it can be!

    I really hope you get your BFP. Keeping everything crossed for you 😘 Good luck xxx

  • Thank you Amanda, I read your posts and we sound so similar. I can’t quite believe it was a BFP xx

  • Just seen your update!! 😀😀 congratulations xxx

  • Hi Carrie, I totally get this - I am due to test on Wednesday and am absolutely petrified. Only difference is that this is our first cycle of ivf (we've previously done 6 months of clomid and 3 rounds of iui - all unsuccessful) I swing from one extreme to the other in my thinking, really want to know if it has worked but living in ignorance at the moment feeling pregnant until proven otherwise is also an incredible feeling with the hope of it. I hope that you find the strength to test tomorrow and get the news you are hoping for. Will be keeping everything crossed for you. Here if I can be an ear or a shoulder... x

  • Thank you for your support. Good luck to you for tomorrow, likewise I’m here for you too. I followed the advice from @emma2739 and did it quickly first thing when I was half asleep. It still hasn’t sunk in that it was positive xx

  • Hey Carrie, trust me we all feel the way you're feeling right now. It's only natural to be scared and not wanting to know the outcome thinking it will turn up negative as well. :( I too had only 2 frosties in my last IVF round and none worked. So, I'd say you'll feel much better when you know the result - whatsoever it be. Also, my new clinic has this orientation programme that comes along with treatment where they said a few vital things and one of them was - don't overthink. It's a known fact that emotions are linked to hormones; while a hormone imbalance can upset you being upset can affect your hormone level as well - which is not very favourable for conceiving. Who knows maybe it's a BFP and all you've got to do is check and rejoice. Sure the bad can happen but let's think positive if that's what we so desperately desire. For now, cheer up counting on the BFP and try to keep your emotions steady. Hope you get a BFP tomorrow! You have my prayers and good luck with you. :)

  • Thank you for sharing the advice of your clinic. It’s true about positive thinking, I believe it does help.

    Your support definitely helped me yesterday. And although I can’t quite believe it, it does feel amazing that I got my BFP finally xx

  • Oh dear one, I can totally understand your situation - it's really hard to be optimistic when you've had a devastating IVF. However, let me tell you that miracles do happen and it happens when you least expect it. I was suffering from infertility too never really has a BFP till 2 years of TTC. It was primarily my PCOS but after my failed IUIs it was concluded that there's endometrial receptivity test confirmed abnormal MAG patterns interfering with implantation. Not sure but I probably had 2 chemical pregnancies while TTC naturally. In IVF, the first 1 was BFN and next one lost at 5 weeks. Having only 2 more Frozen Embryos left we were contemplating on DE and surrogacy if all the FET don't work - at 36 I was emotionally drained over the infertility struggle. Lined up for FET 3 with a 4 months wait I got pregnant with my twins naturally - 4 years old now. So, you never know when things turn all good. Sending baby dust! :)

  • Thank you for your reply, miracles do happen and I am so happy today. xx

  • I know exactly how you feel, it just eats away at you. What helped me was thinking about the next steps whether the test result was good or bad. The night before I left the test by the loo, went off to bed, and the second I woke up I did it quickly, half asleep and got back into bed to look at it. Sending lots and lots of luck to you pal xxx

  • I followed your advice and have passed it on to MrsB_2013 too. Doing the test first thing without thinking did help for sure, I didn’t get time to get back into bed to read the result though, it was already showing the 2nd line 😊. Thank you so much for replying to me yesterday xx

  • Good luck this morning!

    I know what you mean about keeping hope - I’m nervous for my OTD on Saturday x

  • Thank you! I followed the advice from @Emma2739. Get it all ready the night before and do it first thing whilst have asleep. I didn’t get time to really think about it as I really needed to pee so bad. I can’t believe it was a BFP! Good luck for Saturday, I’ve got everything crossed for you too xx

  • Oh hooray! Congratulations!! xx

  • Good luck today 🤞🏼🍀💕

  • Thank you 😊

    It was BFP xx

  • Ahhh congratulations xxx

  • Good luck today xx

  • Thank you, it was a BFP xx

  • Wonderful news! Best wishes to you for your pregnancy xx

  • Great update. Congratulations xx

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