Advice - follow up

[Lauren87]

Hi all, I'm after some advice from you all with regards to clinic care. Since we started the FET I have been unsure as to if the care we are receiving is standard or if I'm right to feel a little disappointed - I wonder if you can share your own experiences? In short, I didn't see a doctor throughout the FET process until transfer day, I then wasn't due back into the clinic until 7 weeks pregnancy (initially had a BFP), I miscarried at 6 weeks, the doctors emergency phone was off and so I had to call NHS 111 for guidance and whilst I was invited to the clinic for blood tests and scans the next day when I finally got hold of them I still didn't see a doctor. The next day I called the doctor as I felt very unwell and was told not to worry eventually I insisted that someone see me because I felt so unwell and was then swiftly referred to the EPU with an infection. That was a week ago and I have subsequently had no contact with the clinic, until this morning when I contacted them to find out next steps and was booked in for a follow up (in 4 weeks time!). I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we feel a little in the dark which is only adding to the stress of the miscarriage. Should the clinic not be showing more concern for my wellbeing or am I being a particularly difficult patient? I would appreciate you sharing your own experiences xxx

[MommaBear16]

Hi Lauren, how are you? I hope you're feeling a little stronger, it's great that you've got your review coming up and can look at next steps. My experience was quite similar when I first started bleeding. I felt like the clinic were a little dismissive of me, I never saw anyone other than a nurse for scans/blood tests and I had to push for those. I understand they're really busy and they're used to dealing with this but for us it's a frightening time and I do think they could be a little more compassionate. Having said that some of the staff were amazing with us and we're really grateful for their support. I've not had an FET but I would expect to see a consultant before the day of transfer? Then again maybe that's the norm for this process.

We're NHS and I have to say our clinic were amazing throughout our treatment but I did find the aftercare a little disappointing - they sent us a congratulations letter a week after we were told there was no heartbeat. Then they forgot to file the paperwork for our review/next cycle. We're not switching though as I have so much confidence in the consultants and the embryologist team. They were so kind to us on EC and ET days. I think that's important. Plus, as they know us now and have seen everything we went through I am hoping they will take a little bit extra care of us.

I hope you get some answers at your review next month. Let's hope that it's our turn next and all of this will soon be a distant memory x x x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Lauren87. So sorry to hear that you have had such a rough time of things. Always remember that your GP can support you - or arrange support for you during all of this. Thre are support groups around too if you want to have a try there. Have a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org and you will be able to click on to a list of groups. Hopefully there will be one in your area or not too far away. I do wish you well with your next round of treatment. Thinking of you. Diane