Stressing out....

[isitonlyadream]

Hi ladies

Just having a bad day I guess...

Had prostap injection last Thursday to prepare for our fet and back next Thursday to see if I've down regulated.

I am so worried that we only have one frozen embryo and that the fresh didn't work so why would the frozen one? Also got it in my head it's because we're using surgically retrieved sperm ( which is stupid as we only got 3 eggs and all 3 fertilised and made it to day 5)

Plus cannot concentrate on work at all and didn't sleep a wink last night... Spending all my time looking at donor sperm / eggs / embryos and just generally worrying...

Guessing the sleep could be due to heat and or the injection...

In need of a good shake and some success stories please 😄

Holly x

[pm27]

Bad days are often part of the treatment process. Your fears/doubts make sense as you've had a failure. Hopefully the FET will work for you. It has for others.

It's easy to say don't worry, perhaps allow yourself some time each day when you do think about it and times when you decide to focus on other things. Have you tried Mindfulness techniques? Google it, loads will come up.

The heat isn't helping either with disturbing your sleep.

Good luck.

[isitonlyadream in reply to pm27]

Hi pm

Thank you. I guess I'm just having a bad day but I decided this morning to have a day off and haven't been near Google or work all day just spent the day with the dogs in the sunshine so feeling better than i was this morning.

I think it's just the helplessness of it all, I like to be in control and I have absolutely none at all over this...

Thank you for getting back to me I'll have a look at mindfulness too

Holly x

[pm27 in reply to isitonlyadream]

A day off sounds great and it sounds like you'be used it well.

I think having no control over the outcome is so hard and it's so unlike anything else when we do have an element of control.

Take lots of care.

[isitonlyadream in reply to pm27]

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Our first round was exiting and new and when it didn't work I was completely crushed and I'm just trying to feel positive about fet but deep down I'm worrying. It is because I've no control over any of it.

It's easy to say what will be will be but much harder to put into my head!!

Thanks pm,

Holly x

[pm27 in reply to isitonlyadream]

I was gutted when round 1 resulted in a BFN. We didn't have any frosties. Round 2 was easier emotionally as I had an idea of what to expect. ET on round 3 had to be delayed so had FET and that was easier as fewer drugs. My worry decreased once we'd started each treatment cycle.

Does your clinic offer counselling? It might be worth thinking about. Or is there a kind nurse you can chat to? They seem to have a bit more time and empathy than the consultant.

[isitonlyadream in reply to pm27]

I'm finding fet easier it's just the horrible niggling worry about our only one defrosting ok that's worrying me and when I spoke with Leeds (we had ec and et at Leeds but being treated at a satellite unit) I asked the nurse whether to do another full protocol or the fet and she said ohh you only have the one and it may not defrost!!! Up until that point id not even thought that.

As we are self funding the fet is the cheaper option and they like you to use Frosties before doing another full fresh cycle.

The nurses at Halifax are just lovely, I'll speak to them next week when we go to see if I've down regulated.

Thanks

Holly x

[LHow81]

We only had 1 5 day FET from all our 3 cycles we never got another egg to 5 days. It worked for us so it deffo can!

Good luck

X

[isitonlyadream in reply to LHow81]

Oh wow that's such lovely news to hear thank you. We have only one 5 day blast so I am hoping beyond hope that it will be our lucky one.

Thank you for the positive story xx

Holly x

[tess71]

the whole process is such an emotional rollercoaster...then they chuck in hormones as well...then you add the fact the first cycle didn't work...and its all beyond our control. we went away this weekend to get away from it all , just me, the DH and the dog. a few down moments, back into clinic today to start cycle 2 with FET and I don't feel any of the excitement, just trepidation. I think you almost need a down day to help you plan for better days and just to let the negative stuff come to the surface so you can deal with them and move on. so much of our time whilst going through treatment is spent being anxious, fearful, nervous but we are so used to keeping those feelings hidden...its not surprising they sneak up on us unawares :(. plan to do nice things tomorrow xx

[Madcatlady55 in reply to tess71]

I can relate to this. On my boss's first cycle I was so nervous and excited for her. This time round I'm just numb. True I've been bereaved as well, but just worried it will all go wrong again. I won't know as I'm on hols now, but her protocol was completely different this time, so can only wait and see xx

[isitonlyadream]

Hi Tess

I know what you mean... It's a bit like going through the motions but without the excitement as the failure just hangs there and I'm scared to even think positive at the moment...

But that's my bad day and moan over with tomorrow is a day closer 😄

A weekend away sounds lovely I hope you had a lovely time.

Good luck with your fet too... Are you doing a medicated or natural cycle?

Holly x

[tess71]

hey holly, hoping you feel better about stuff today...a weekend away from everyone was ideal and I would recommend it if you can...we have a touring caravan so its relatively easy for us to up and off, but I would still recommend it if you can. im on a medicated cycle, my natural cycle has started to be unpredictable so "we" decided on that...just tablets this time..no injections but I am being tested for thyroid function and anticoagulants. consultant felt it wasn't necessary 2nd time around but I felt I needed to "do" something positive towards trying to help the outcome....these little frosties are so precious. I start the tablet on the first day of my next period so early august time...I don't think I will feel positive until 12 week scan stage tbh..... take care

[isitonlyadream in reply to tess71]

Hi Tess

That sounds lovely 😄

We had a week at the beach with the dogs in June so know what you mean about getting away from it all.

I'm on the medicated cycle too had my down reg injection last Thursday so going next Thursday to see if it has done its job (blaming that for my depressed mood yesterday!!)

I had to push my consultant for things ... This time we've had the scratch and will be having the blood thinning injections too.

Good luck with your cycle and fingers crossed xx

Holly x